While we are all are still shocked of the final outcome of the “Jelena” break up, I have compiled a list of reasons that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were never ever ever meant to be together (shout out to our girl Taylor Swift).
15. Justin Bieber is a player
When you are dating the “Biebs”, you should just come to the realization that he is going to be surrounded by extremely gorgeous women. If you can’t deal with the “Biebs” and the massive amount of “swag” he has-then you are dating the wrong
14. Selena Gomez only dates Men…not little boys
Let’s be real for a moment, people. While Justin Bieber has grown muscles and seemed to grow up a tad, he’s still a little boy. He’s just wearing big boy pants (we will get to them in a moment) and says the word “swaggy”. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE OVER THE AGE OF 16 THAT SAYS THE WORD “SWAGGY”? Hells to the no! When Justin is able to become a man, hopefully in a few years, then he would be able get a catch like Selena Gomez. Until then Selena should send Justin back to the playground and go find a real man.
13. You be rollin’ with the “gangsta” but you are whiter than vanilla ice cream
One of the side effects of having a mentor like Usher is that he can make anyone believe that they are “gangsta”. Justin has fallen to the ground because he wears his pants too damn low because he thinks he’s a “gangsta” and “rollin” in Usher’s “crew”. Justin is from Canada…there are no Canadian “gangstas” up north! Drake, If you are reading this, you aren’t a “gangsta” either. Getting shot on a television show that is on the sister channel of Nickelodeon doesn’t make you a “gangsta”. No one is true “gangsta” because here is the definition of “gangsta”:
A sociopathic member of the inner-city underclass, known primarily for being antisocial and uneducated. Also known for ready access to illegal drugs and weapons, and staggeringly poor marksmanship.
I’m pretty sure everyone is social with each other and we all educated because we can’t get by in life without being educated. So Justin, and I guess Drake too, pull up yo pants!
12. Selena doesn’t really go out and party
As far as we know, there is no photographic evidence that Selena Gomez is a hardcore partier. For all we know, she sits at home with her BFF Taylor Swift and knit sweaters and bake caramel delights. She has been seen at some parties and apparently gotten the nickname “Bruja” (Spanish for witch) so it might be that Justin just doesn’t want to party with her because she’s apparently a bitch to party with.
11. If you have some sort of fever named after you, you are obviously no good and might be a health risk
This is one is pretty much self explanatory. Why would you date someone who has a fever named after them? “Bieber Fever” just sounds unpleasant and doesn’t make him seem very pleasant either. Has anyone really been known to survive Bieber Fever? There are like millions of cases of Bieber Fever and yet, no cure 🙁
10. Your fan base wants to kill your girlfriend
Again, this one is pretty much self explanatory. If your boyfriend’s fan base wants to kill you, then why aren’t you scared. It’s not like my fan base and it’s just one girl. Justin’s fan base is like 2049302492034 zillion girls ages 1-14 and some mothers. I’m pretty sure that is a major red flag that 1) his fans are a whole bunch of crazies and 2) your life is more important than a love.
9. Disney Crack Whores have a tendency to become “wild ones”
Hey I heard you were a wild one! So everyone is aware that most of the Disney Crack Whores, or Disney Delinquents, have a tendency to become wild and crazy after they cut their lease from Disney. Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears (yes, she’s a Disney Crack Whore), and Christina Aguilera are perfect examples of Disney Crack Whores that when cra-cra. All of them, including Lindsay somewhat, have been tamed to a point. (SIDENOTE: So you are probably thinking “Miley isn’t tamed at all! Just look at her!” Well she is tamed but just living her life the way she wants to). So yeah, if you think Selena is a “Bruja” in the clubs, wait until she cuts her Disney lease.
8. Disney has your girlfriend’s number for life (They are kinda like her pimp)
Real Talk! Disney likes to milk their young stars for every dime they are worth! Look at, again, Lindsay Lohan! She is the prime example of them milking her in every way they could think of. They kinda whore them out, in a weird take of the real word. Selena is their star now after Demi Lovato ditched them. Disney would be milking Selena for all she has to offer if they were smart. So if Justin was to say “Get back together with the Selena”, then he would be dating a Disney’s star Prostitute. They might even try to put a “hit” out on him if he tries to get in their business way. The Disney Mafia has his number!
7. WTF? You call your fans bieblievers? Are you like 5?
Anyone who calls their fans something like “Bieblievers”, obviously are probably 5 years old or just really immature. While celebrities have named their fan base after themselves i.e “Hulkamanics”, but it’s wasn’t something that is just a take on their last name like that. I mean, come on Justin! You could have picked a new name to pick your fan base and something that doesn’t make you seem like your 5.
6. Selena knows how to work a wand…a little too well
It’s only fitting that her nickname is “Bruja” when she played a wizard on television for years. If reports are true that Selena is kinda a bitch, can you picture dating her? Like most of America, I hope the reports aren’t true and that Selena is the nicest girl in the world. But if they aren’t, it’s probably a good thing that Justin isn’t dating that because no one deserves to be dating a witch. Justin doesn’t need to be dealing with that this earlier in his career.
5. You hang out with divorced black men…that’s not strange at all
I’m gonna be really straight forward with this and yes, I’m going there. Justin’s mentor is Usher. And Usher is a divorced black man. This is really really strange if you don’t think of it like a normal person. While I totally get the Mentor/Mentoree relationship they have, it also kinda doesn’t help the “Justin Bieber is Gay” rumors. In the world, this could be seen as a father and son role play sex scenario and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
4. Rolling in the deep……
There’s a fire starting in Bieber’s pants. Reaching a fever pitch, it’s bringing him out to the dark. That’s right, Bieber is rolling in the deep of many bitches. He basically has one or more for every day of the week. It’s been reported that the reason that “Jelena” broke up because of a photo that a friend posted of him and a few models on a friends twitter and then Selena let the “Bruja” out. So there are obviously some trust issues (we will get to that in a hot second). But this goes back to Justin appealing to young girls and mothers who are trying to feel young and him having “Swaggy”……
3. My Crazy Psycho Girlfriend
Okay, I’m going to make this short and sweet and to the point. Selena being jealous of him being photography with models innocently is kinda making her come out like a crazy psycho girlfriend and again, not helping her “Bruja” nickname. This also makes Selena the jealous type. Justin isn’t really the type to like the jealous type (no man would date someone who would get angry from an innocent photo).
2. Why you no trust me?
After reading multiple reports, the doctor is staying that this relationship broke up from a lack of trust. And it’s not really the “Biebs” fault as Selena was the jealous one. This lack of trust is probably because he is known as a “playboy” and having millions of girls chasing after him. There was probably some trust issues from the start but were just minor issues. If this is true, their relationship was doomed from the start.
1. JUSTIN IS A DOUCHE BAG!
Yeah, I said it. Justin Bieber is a totally douche bag-well that’s what how he appears on social media sites. Just hours after breaking up with Selena, he posted a shirtless photo of himself on his Instagram and Twitter and making himself look like a, say it with me now, douche bag.
Did we miss a reason or have a thought on the “Jelena” breakup episode? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @The_Pop_Project! #JelenaProject