Taylor Swift has 99 problems and a man caused most of them


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Still nursing that pop culture hangover from last nights “The Pop Project: with Steven Kaufman”? Don’t fret, because I know what exactly you need a good old fashion Kiki! For those of you that have lived under a rock, a Kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just desserts one may deserve. So lock the doors, lower the blinds, fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels-it’s about to get real up in here. Let’s have a Kiki!

Taylor Swift is a serial dater and here is why: think of the last time Taylor Swift has been single for more than a few months. I’ll let you ponder that for a moment. Ready? Taylor Swift hasn’t been single forever a full calendar year since she busted onto the music scene. She has dated the likes of Joe Jonas, Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Lautner, Connor Kennedy (SHE DATED A FREAKING KENNEDY!?! THAT FREAKING AMERICAN ROYALTY!!) and One Direction’s Harry Styles. She even had John Mayer telling her that her body is wonderland. The girl has seriously case of what I’m now calling “The Swift Syndrome”. What is “The Swift Syndrome” you ask? Well it’s when you date a lot of guys and then when they don’t end up being who you thought they were so you break up with them and you go a write a multi-platinum song about them.

T-Swizzle has the right idea about dating because instead of trying to find a soul mate, just try to find someone to make you angry so you can make a lot of money by writing hit songs about them. Her way sounds better than actually trying to have a connection with someone because that totally sounds like a massive waste of time!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of Miss Swift but the “oh I’m the innocent little girl who always seems to getting my lil’ heartbroken” act is kind of not working anymore. It starting to show that Tay-Tay is getting her heart-broken for a reason and it seems to be about her fault. After the Harry Styles incident, also known as “Haylorgate”, she is starting to look like she might be a little cra-cra. It is going to be hard for her to actually find a man to date, if that’s what she actually calls it. No one wants to date an overly jealous person that will write a song about you every time they are mad at you and release it publicly for the world to know how much of a douche bag Biebs bag you really are. That’s just asking for trouble.

Moral of this Kiki: Taylor Swift needs to stop dating everyone and their father because she’s just not helping her image. Taylor, if you need help, I have Dr. Drew on speed dial and if he can help a bunch of sex addicts and the Teen Moms, he can definitely help someone who is a serial dater.

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