Sprang Break is here for many college students, along with people who are trying to still believe that they are young. It’s the time of letting your hair down as well doing things that your mother wouldn’t approve of unless she is Dina Lohan. So I thought that since I’m the life of the party, I would spread some of that knowledge onto you. So I’m here to today to teach you how to full enjoy your Sprang Break. To help me with my lesson, I’ll be using gifs from my all time “favorite” movie, Spring Breakers! Who doesn’t love James Franco as a drug lord that looks like something a model throw up before a show.
Get yourself some friends
While I know this may be really hard for you because no one can be as popular as me, to have a killer Sprang Break, you need some friends. Friends will make the trip better, especially if they are shady bitches. Make sure one of the bitches is a very proper but yet caves easy to peer pressure. This bitch will make your trip seem like it will be like a weekend at your grandmother’s house, unless your Grandma is a like mine and that’s a totally different conversation. Make sure at least one is attractive and psycho because that will be important later on.
Getting a trip that is a steal
Sprang Break isn’t free, unless you know the right people. So if you looking for a cheap trip, armed robbery is the way to go. Put on some fugly outfits, some black ski masks, and grab some hammers and guns and meet your friends,minus the proper bitch, in your teacher/professor’s car. Pick a random hole in the wall place and just go to town in that mother. After you rob everyone, watch that son of bitch’s car burn to the ground and go plan the Sprang Break of your dreams.
Planning is key
Now after you get the money you need, sit down with your friends and just get turnt. Nothing help plan an awesome trip than a bong full of drugs and your friends. There, you can get all your best ideas out there and just plan to run the town you go to. Make sure you pack all your bikini and tennis shoes because nothing says “I’m here to get turnt and possible come home with some STDs!” like bikinis and tennis shoes!
You better boozlieve you are really there!
Now once you arrive at the location of your Sprang Break, you get to your bitches, get some boys, and make some noise because you all need to get White Girl Wasted. All that is you need to get drunk to the point you lose all control. This may sound like a bad thing, but would you want to remember doing something you will definitely regret in the morning? White Girl Wasted is the best thing that could happen to you and your bitches during Sprang Break. Eventually, you will end up getting arrest after one faithfully party. That is where your Sprang Break will be the defining moment of your life. Here’s the gif to summarize your time in jail:
Talking to strangers is okay on Sprang Break
After spending a night in jail in just your bikini,because clothes are for losers, a creepy but in the right light attractive guy,who also may or may not be a drug lord,will take you under you and your bitches under his wing. This is where all your fun begins. He will show you and teach you things that you will never dream of before. The best part? You don’t have to worry about where to sleep because he will let all of you sleep in his bitchin’ pad. See? Strangers can be bother creepy and nice.
The Party has just begun, bitch
Now that you have an in with the drug lord, he’s going to take you and your bitches on a little “party”. A “party” where you wear the perfect Sprang Break outfit: a pink bikini, a matching pink ski mask, and a small firearm. Now not all of your bitches will attend this “party” as the proper bitch will bail but she wasn’t a real bitch but a basic bitch. So you won’t miss her at all. Back to the “party,” this will be the highlight of your Sprang Break. And will start something that will have you saying “Sprang Break Foreva!”
In between the “partying”, make sure you enjoy the scenery of your surroundings. Take the time to just chill, have your drug lord play some classic Britney Spears while you and your bitches sing and sway to the side. I suggest Everytime because that is my jam and perfect for reflecting on your “parties.” Now cherish this moment with your bitches because one of your bitches will be basic and leaving you again. This time you will miss this basic bitch. Your basic bitch will leave because your drug lord and your bitches will be involved in a drive by shooting. Believe me, a drive by aren’t as fun as they sound. Your drug lord will seek revenge because of this and this “party” will be one long ass “party” too.
Three’s a crowd…but let’s do it anyways.
Now remember when I said to make sure you have an attractive and psycho bitch in your bitches? Well, it’s just now you, your drug lord, and your attractive psycho bitch and he says your his “soul mates.” So now you all three explore this and have massive amount of sex everywhere. It’s just not your average run of the mill sex, but rather extremely kinky sex where your drug lord sucks on a gun. The kind of sex that would make whores blush. This will go on for days. Think of it of kinky tag. But in-between your conquest to out kinky Fifty Shades of Grey, you will plan your last “party” of Sprang Break. And it’s a big bitchin’ “party.”
Game On, bitches
On your final night of your Sprang Break, you, your attractive psycho bitch, and your drug lord will try to take revenge for the drive by but your drug lord will end up dead in the first 3 minutes because he was a basic bitch. But luckily, everyone shooting at you, is also a basic bitch and you end up killing and robbing all of them. Before you leave for home, you kiss your dead “soulmate”, rob him as well and steal a bitchin’ ride while singing “Sprang Break Foreva!” over and over again.
Now that I know what you are thinking and this level of Sprang Break is achievable. Just follow these steps and you too can be shouting “Sprang Break Foreva” while you play with a gun in your drug lords mouth. Feel free to revisit these steps if you forget how to Sprang Break.