Private schools aren’t that different from public schools 


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People are freaking out over the appointment of Betsy DeVos as the Secretary of Education. It’s because the fact that DeVos is more qualified to other things, most people are trying to figure out what’s she qualified to do. And the fact that the American public school system is going into the crapper as Private schools are more of Betsy taste. Before you move into the Canadian school system, I’m here to tell you that private schools aren’t that bad for kids.

I have watched many television shows that feature kids going to private schools and they have been fine. Granted, they were all super rich and the ones that where there on scholarships get massively picked on and tortured by secret societies hell-bent on “purify the school” like little sociopaths but that’s neither here or there. Private schools offer the same education that they would get at a public school, just with more “hands on” attentions. The hands on is coming from teachers having private “tutoring sessions” with their students. Some private schools allow students to live on campus and emerge themselves into the education. Of course, that’s if they ever go to class because it seems like they never have class and when they do, it’s just one big party.

Private schools do offer a lot of extracurricular activities on their campus, due to most private schools being like vacation resorts with pools, spas, golf courses, and basements perfect for sacrificing scholarship virgins. Gotta love that tax payers dollars at work, am I right? They have PLENTY of clubs for students to partake in: Golf, Tennis, Swim, Water Polo, underage strippers pretending to be a dance team, and did I mention that they have secret societies coming out the walls? The most popular clubs at private schools is their clubs dedicated for sex ed and underage drinking. It seems like everyone is in those clubs. The campus is so big that the sex ed and underage drinking practice literally everywhere on campus. And don’t worry, there is still drugs on campus as well. It’s the same kind of drugs they will get at a public school.

They also offer vacation clubs where the students can come together and relax before school and during breaks. This is when they will bond together and build memories of fun and being slightly watched by parents, who are having more drama than the actual students. The student will also turn on each other and form into tribes where they try to figure who is spreading “fake news” about them, when it’s actually true. But it always ends up just bringing the students together after one of the, suffers a near death experience.

Now a private school isn’t without its uniforms. Most private schools uniforms are just clothes you can pick up at the school itself. If they are a scholarship student, theirs might be slightly used and comes with gifts from the not so-friendly secret society. Mainly the gifts are just letters threatening your life and what not. Nothing says “Welcome to our school” like letters saying “Get out of my school you piece of scholarship trash.” Sidenote: at least the sociopathic secret societies are being equal opportunist with their torture. They aren’t just torturing based on race, sexual orientation, or language. Now there are usually two types of uniforms: Formal and Informal. Uniforms are there to create unity and to make it way easier to tease people. The uniforms also make it way easier to for the sex club to practice. Like the girls are in mini skirts and knee-high boots. They literally come off in like 4.5 seconds. They even have the stripper dance team show them how to rip it off. Oh, they all have matching underwear. Again, gotta love your tax dollars at work!

If this hasn’t sold you yet on private schools, wait until I tell you about the best part: the administrators are like super strict. Sure, they hardly watch the students and let them literally leave the campus at any given notice and pretty much do whatever they want. But if your child was to form a band that become an overnight sensation, you bet your sweet ass that they would break that ish up. They will not be having any of that thing called music taking your child away from great education under there watch. They will also not allow your student’s teachers to be friends with them or teach them valuable life lessons that isn’t in course curriculum.

I told you that private schools isn’t bad. It’s the same kind of education that they will get at a public school. Hopefully, this will help calm your mind into what your child will have to deal with at a private school.  The only difference is that the secret societies are much nicer…and will try to kill them instead throw them into a dumpster or their locker. Also, the students aren’t actually teenagers but rather in their 20s.

Have an opinion on the matter or want to let us know that you want to marry us in Vegas? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject

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