Happy St. March sucking day!


march-sux-sm

It’s the third month of the year and like the other months before it, March sucks. It’s literally the Tuesday of the year. While Tuesday is better than Monday, it’s still sucks ass. No one likes Tuesday. I personally just want to skip over Tuesday and go to Thursday…mainly because it’s closer to the weekend. So let’s say it together now: March sucks and now here’s why:

March is when the sun decides to stay out longer and it starts to seem “hey, this month won’t be that bad.” But then it raises its middle finger and goes “suck it bitches.” Daylight savings happens and you lose an hour of sleep. No one likes to lose sleep. It’s hard to get sleep to begin with for some and then you just want to lose that? How dare March. How dare it think it can take something like that from us? And it gets worse. It teases the idea of warm weather at us by saying “Let’s start spring.” But is warm? hell to the no. It’s cold as balls. It’s teasing us into thinking that “it will get warm” but it doesn’t until the end of April.

March is so bad that they had to make a holiday in the middle of the month that encourages people to drink themselves into become “shitfaced.” That holiday is St. Patrick’s Day. Like most holidays, it actually has some kind of purpose or meaning behind it. But like the capitalist we are, we turn the day to celebrate the patron saint of Ireland-we  drink a lot of alcohol, become shitfaced, don’t remember what we are doing, and then make a bunch of bad decisions. Most of the people celebrating it aren’t anything close to being Irish, they are just so upset by how much of dick March is-they need to drink away the pain. THAT IS HOW MUCH MARCH SUCKS. I need drink just to move on from how much this month sucks.

How many more months are we going to have to suffer through that sucks? Literally every month so far has sucks and it’s very depressing. We, as a family, are going to need therapy after this. But here’s to hoping that April will be better but it probably won’t since it’s literally raining all day everyday. I’ll start building the ark. sigh.

 

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