So you think your microwave is a spy


microwave-sm

I know what you may be thinking “my microwave has been seeming weird lately.” And yes, it has. You see, your microwave may be taking photos of you and recording your conversations. Your microwave turns into a camera when you aren’t looking. I know, it’s mind-blowing to think that your microwave might be spying on you when you least expect it. Because of the lovely, and seeming younger looking, Kellyanne Conway informed us of this break in national security; I thought I would help you tell when your microwave is spying on you.

The camera on the microwave is all in the time display. It’s actually a one-way window. You can’t see it but it can see you. And the holes for ventilation has a microphone built-in. They are so tiny, that no one would ever expect it. You can’t even find them if you were to tear it apart. So here are just a few things to watch out for when you are believing that your microwave is joining the ranks of KAOS and spying on you.

  • When your food isn’t cooked the whole way: If your food isn’t probably cooked the whole way, you need to get out of there right away. It isn’t because you didn’t put it in long enough. It’s because your microwave is using that to gain more photos and knowledge of you. It knows that you are going to run it through again, and that is when it will finish up its collecting. Don’t do it, eat the food cold (within reason) or just flee your home. If you flee your home, then it will confuse it and not tell it’s brothers to watch out for you.
  • If the plate in the middle isn’t turning while cooking: The plate in the middle of the microwave isn’t for making sure your food is cooked the whole way. It’s actually processing the information when it’s spinning. There are sensors that are sending it all through your own internet connection. Isn’t technology wonderful? If you see the plate not moving, then you need to stop that microwave because it’s sending all the information. If you stop the microwave mid-cycle, then it won’t be able to send any of the information. It will also corrupt the information and make it unreadable.
  • If your microwave is starting to act up: If you notice that your microwave is on its way out, then you need to literally destroy it. It’s wanting you to get a new one. If you throw it away, then every last bit of information will be sent to the collective and made available to the world. How? The microwave will send it like a beacon.
  • Unplugging it won’t help: If you unplug the microwave, then it will still record you and send information to the collective. The microwave is on to you and knows your tricks. It’s not stupid. Unplugging it won’t help either.

Hopefully these tips will help you catch your microwave spying on you.

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