Twitter bios: The Resume of you


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So instead of about talking about Facebook Stories, because let’s be real – it’s just another way to rip off Snapchat. We’ll be talking about your Twitter bios and what you should consider when you are writing it. So let’s take a stroll to the cleanest street corner on the web so we can talk about. Welcome to the latest edition of “Social Media Corner.”

Your twitter bio is something that you need to make short, sweet, and to the point. You don’t want to make it too long because no one will read it. Like a tweet, I would say make it around 140 characters. The biggest mistake that people make is that they make list like this:

Mother, child, eater of souls, savior of mass amount of cats. Word renown noun. Person. Lover of the one they call Nick Jonas. I once stole the underwear off of Zayn…yeah, I saw it.

You don’t want to do that. It makes you sound like an asshole. Even if you are an asshole, you want to cover it up to make people believe that you aren’t one. No one cares if you save cats or if you are a famous noun.  They might care if you Zayn’s reproductive organ but you probably don’t want to know them. You also don’t want to list your accomplishments like this:

17x World Champion dancer, Heir to the Throne of Old Yorke, Olympic Athlete, Best selling Author “Where’s my Hoes at?: The Life and Times of George Washington.” I also won 10 Emmys and 200 Oscars.

If your bio reads like this, then you just look pretentious bastard. Your bio makes people feel bad and no one wants to follow someone who makes them hate their lives. I know what your thinking “Anything I post is going to make them hate their life” and you are right but that still doesn’t mean you should add to it. Oh, and don’t get all sappy with an inspirational quote or something so cheese that Chuckie Cheese doesn’t want it on his pizza. Instead of looking like a pretentious bastard, you look like pretentious asshole.  Just make a short but sweet representation of you. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just something like:

Nick Jonas and Pop Culture lover, Actor

That gives a short representation of you and puts you in the best light without sounding like an asshole. Another tip is that if you are going to make your bio make you sound like an asshole, at least acknowledge it. It will make you sounds a little better.

I hope this helps you with your social media woes. If it doesn’t, well better luck next time.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you check out my Twitter and give it a follow for more stupid things.

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