Oprah, eat your motherfucking heart out.
It’s time once again for the annual event that you secretly don’t even know you live for. I hope you are holding onto your weave because I’m going to be snatching your edges. Welcome to “The Pop Project: with Steven Kaufman” FFFFFFAAAAVVVVOOOORRRIITTTEEE THINNNNNGGSSSSSS! Please make sure you read favorite things like Oprah does. I hope you are sitting down because this will be epic.
Now, let’s talk about my favorite things this year. Oh, and the links to get items aren’t free. I’m not really Oprah as much as I want to be. I’m a broke ass bitch.
Riverdale and dem Abs
I’m slightly addicted to “Riverdale” and I’m not in any way close to seeking help for my addiction. This show is pretty much everything that I have ever wanted in a television. It’s addictive, dark, and gritty. Also, everyone on that show is like super attractive. Between the cast and how the show is shot, it’s just appealing to the eyes. But we all know the real reasons we just can’t stop watching “Riverdale.” It’s because of the real stars Dem Abs on Archie Andrews and Cheryl Blossom.
Dem Abs were the main focal point of the first season. They were flaunted in front of us because they are GLORIOUS. It so sad that they aren’t featured more in this season. They deserve an Emmy. Cheryl Blossom is also my queen. Her lines are the best out of everyone in the entire show. Veronica is the only one close to her crown. But Cheryl is the star of the show and who everyone wants to see. Can we just have a Cheryl Blossom spin-off?
Everyone will be going home with a copy of GQ Austraila’s photoshoot of KJ Apa, which I broke down for you here, Cheryl Blossom’s cookbook called “A hint of Maple Syrup and Destruction: how to proper ruin people lives,” and binoculars so you can be like Betty Cooper and see Dem Abs in all their glory. Oh, and if here a link if you want to buy the first season on DVD.
Taylor Swift’s Reputation
Can we have a moment to talk about how good this album is? I know everyone was worried about it due to it being nothing like she has done in the past. But it was actually rather lit. The best part of the entire album? Hearing Taylor Swift singing/saying shit. It was everything. If I had remembered to write a review about, I would have given it a 4 out of 5. “Reputation” is life. While it’s not as good as “Speak Now” or “1989,” it is something that will make you go damn. The old Taylor is dead and no one is in mourning the loss…..as much as they would if it would have sucked.
If you look under your chair, you will find a bunch of snakes serving you tea. You will also walk away with life-size birdcage because we’re kinky like that. But if you are looking for your own copy of “Reputation” then click here to purchase it.
Probably the creepiest yet interesting thing to come in 2017 is the rise of Poppy. Just something about this YouTube star and singer makes you addicted to her. It might be the fact that no one knows if this is all an act or is this a real person that acts like a robot? Either way, I’m living for her strange yet comforting videos. You just want to know more about her. Everyone wants to be Poppy. She’s our favorite internet girl. While her older music is everything, her music is still something that will make you just want to break out into song with her.
Everyone will be leaving with a potted plant to call a friend as well as doge to love and to pet. Click here to buy Poppy’s album “Poppy. Computer.” The album itself is something magical.
With this inclusion onto my favorite things, you would never guess that I’m 26. Yes, the
Disney Channel Original Movies “Descendants” and “Descendants 2” are actually the best DCOMs to come out since the days of High School Musical. If you haven’t read my review of the newest movie, click here. The franchise is just so freaking catchy. And the music isn’t what you would normally hear in musicals. While Disney has always and been the best when it comes to their musical endeavors, “Descendants” raises the bar and make it
Everyone will get round-trip tickets to Auradon and a personal tour of Auradon prep. If you are lucky, maybe you can play with a lizard of a former evil villain. If you looking to get your hands on the newest movie, here’s the link for it so you can buy it.
Dragging on social media
This was the year where we brought back tar and feathering. Instead of getting in trouble with the law because it’s illegal to actually tar and feathering someone, we just did it on Twitter. If you did something wrong and you’re famous, the internet would get woke and start a #insertyournameoverparty. That wasn’t the kind of party where you dance and have fun but rather you got dragged. You were dragged hard and fast by your edges. There wasn’t any sort of redemption.
Because of the dragging, there will be cream underneath your chair to help with the rash. I don’t have any sort of link from Amazon for cream because why would get that from there? If you need cream, then just go out and get it.
This will do it for this year’s edition of my Favorite things. Here’s a link to all my Favorite Things in one spot, including some things that aren’t. Its my Amazon influencer page. Oh, and if you are waiting for me to give you a car, then here’s a gif of Oprah giving them out because again, I’m a broke ass bitch.
Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more cool shit.