Let’s Have a Kiki: Tinder is the worst

Tinder-sm

Lock the door. Lower the blinds.

It’s time that we have what is hopefully one final kiki of the year. The keyword is hopefully because I get triggered easily by stupidity or just dumb things in general. So Lock the doors, lower the blinds, fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels because it’s going to get real up in this mother. I know, exactly what you need today:

For those that aren’t sure what the fuck they are in for, a kiki is a party for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve. On this edition, we are going to have a nice little chat about why Tinder is just the worst.

So real talk: Can we just talk about how Tinder is just the worst? It either full of strange people or just a bunch of stuck up people. Like, I get that you are going off first impressions of pictures but this app is 50 shades of fucked up shit. First things first, not everyone’s experience with Tinder is going to be the same. I’m going to shitting on it but it’s going be generalizing it. Just take this as something to consider if you haven’t signed up yet. Spoiler: save yourself the trouble and don’t do unless you want a good life.

So there are two kinds of people you will find on Tinder: flaky people or fucked up people looking to get off. Let’s start with the flaky people. So there are people who you will match with that won’t respond back to you when you message them. That totally defeats the purpose of you swiping right. If you swipe right, then you want to chat with someone because you like what they saw or read. So what was the point of swiping right if you aren’t going to reply back? If it was a mistake then just say so because I won’t be angry. I’m more angry at you being a full of dicks and just not responding AT ALL. And yes, I understand that this occurs on every app/site like this but it still doesn’t make this right. Take the five minutes to at least try to have a conversation, especially in your bio if you say you like people who can hold a goddamn conversation.

Then you have fucked up people. Like a profile for Santa appeared and I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t an advertisement. Santa was also posing seductively in front of a fireplace. Don’t ask me why I remember all of this so vividly. It might be because it’s FUCKING BURNED INTO MY MIND because I cannot unsee it. And if you thought this was bad, this was just the icing on the Tinder cake. There are people wearing harnesses and muzzles as well as just endless supplies of torsos. It gets better from there. The bios for the profile also scream hot mess. Like, at least make some sort of effort to look to not fucked up. You catch more bees with honey than vinegar and you’ll find more people by looking less fucked up. You want to ease them into the bondage and not just throw it in their face within the first minute that you want them to tie you up and make you their bitch. Also, unless you don’t have a head, which I highly doubt, let’s also ease into the showing of the torso.

Moral of this kiki: If you are going to use Tinder, good luck. It’s a fucked up in Tinder. People are being rude as fuck or just wanting you to tie them up and gage them.

This kiki was…..

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Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more sass. 

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