Sexuality isn’t a trait that you just bring up to describe people

Ignorance, the root and stem of all evil.

Frankly, I’m not really sure how to write this. I never really thought I would have to write something like this. I’m going to try to keep this tame and polite. I want this to be a little more serious. I probably will still make a few jokes and spill some tea. But this deserved to be a bit more serious than what is usually on this blog.

Someone ignorantly decided to use what they believe my sexuality to be as a trait to describe me to someone. Before I get into how insanely wrong this is, let me set the stage for you. A return customer at the place I work in came up to my coworker looking for me. My coworker didn’t know who they were talking about so they decide to describe my dress code with high emphasis on what they assumed my sexuality was. Keep in mind, I’ve only helped them once and they don’t even know me. I was even nice enough to answer all their questions and just give quality customer service the last time they stopped in. But regardless of whether they are right or wrong, it should have never ever have happened

Someone’s sexuality is an extremely important part of them. But it’s just a small piece what makes them up. By bringing it up like that, it just shows how what you really care when you are talking to someone. There are plenty of things you can bring up besides sexuality. There’s hair color, facial hair, hair style, eyes color, etc. Why would bring up something like when you don’t see it? It’s not like it’s written on our faces or anywhere on our bodies. I don’t know about you but I was never taught to use that to describe people. I don’t remember asking “Is he gay?” when playing “Guess Who.” That’s just you being ignorant.

By bringing it up, that also means you are following sexuality stereotypes and you are labeling people based on those stereotypes or what you feel is a representation of that sexuality. Think about how you would feel if this happened to you. If you are from the south, does that mean that you are racist? No, because anyone can be a racist. The same goes for sexuality. You don’t need to wear flannel and steel-toed boots to be a lesbian. You also don’t need to be overly flamboyant to be gay. What give you the right to decide a strangers sexuality based on stereotypes? Just because my voice isn’t that deep or some of my mannerism isn’t what you believe to be “masculine,” doesn’t give you the right to judge me.

Someone’s sexuality isn’t even your business. It’s their choice who knows and how they let them know. Unless they bring it up, keep you don’t need to assume that you can just tell someone’s sexuality. My mother always says “When one assumes, you make an ass out of you and me.” If they don’t tell you or bring it up, just keep your suspicions to yourself. Like I said, it’s their choice if or when they want you to know. Knowing someone’s sexuality means they trust you and feel like you won’t be one of the many ignorant people in this world that will judge them for something they have no control over. They didn’t have any control that they were born whatever sexuality they are. But you do have control on being ignorant, and frankly, a bigot. Don’t worry, you can stop being ignorant. Like I said, you can control that.

This is the nice version of what I wanted to say. Believe me, I had other choice words. Moral of the story is don’t let your ignorance or sheer lack of decency stop you from seeing the whole person . Someone’s sexuality just makes up a small part of who they are. Don’t let that be the only thing you see and judge someone on that. Judge their character, not who they want to love. Of course, if you are ignorant, they wouldn’t want you to see the real them anyways. Nobody got time for ignorant people. I know that I don’t.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more tea.

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