The Death and Funeral of Hannah Montana

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It was a sad sad night in the world last night as there was a murder on MTV’s Video Music Awards. Miley Cyrus pretty much whored up the place and scared the billions of people who were watching for the reunion of NSYNC.  Miley Cyrus killed Hannah Montana on that fateful night.  Now, if you haven’t watched this performance then stop reading this and watch it!

Ready now? Good!

Now this performance is going to easily comparable to the infamous Britney Spears performance of “Gimme More” back in 2007 because of the shock factor (Britney was like a zombie and Miley was being a whore with a tongue and a foam finger). Miley twerked…and by twerked and I mean she grinded up on Robin Thicke’s junk. She also had a foam finger and proved that there are many things you can do with a foam fingers and it will still air on MTV uncensored.  She also cut Chuck E Cheese’s face off and made it into outfit to cover up the outfit she stole from Lady Gaga’s dressing room.

I’m starting thing that “We Can’t Stop” is really her giving the world the finger, which she did last night many times. Miley was pretty much that extremely slutty girl at that party that’s so wasted out of her mind, she’s ratchet. Even when she wasn’t performing, she was still acting like she was getting ready to jump on a pole and lick it (I wonder if her tongue was about to fall off because it was out of her mouth so much).

I think this a good time to state that Miley has single-handedly ruined twerking (sorry, Harry Styles) after the twerking up against Robin Thicke and then simulating what looked like motor boating a big black girl butt as she twerk, who gave the best twerk of the night!.

Overall, this performance has scarred me more than Spring Breakers and it honestly seemed like a desperate attempt to get noticed. Whether she’s just being Miley, only her best friend Lesley knows, but it’s safe to say that Hannah Montana is dead. Just like it’s safe to say that Will Smith’s family won’t be inviting her over for dinner anytime soon.

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The Wanted Owns the Night

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The bad boys of the United Kingdom’s music scene are back and they have released their newest single, “We Own the Night”. Take a listen to the newest The Wanted single:

The new single is very much a The Wanted song. It’s musically different from their hit “Walks like Rihanna” but still sounds like a normal song they would put out. It also reminds me a lot of Ke$ha’s “The Last Goodbye” with the melody and chorus. The irony about this situation is that The Wanted is singing out partying and Ke$ha isn’t (never thought I would see the day). The song is pretty much a wonderful end of summer anthem, which is coming up soon.

My favorite part of the song is the ending because it’s a kind of acoustic slow down part of the song where it still carries the overall theme and riff of the song but on a piano. And we all know that Piano’s makes things classy. The chorus is also extremely catchy like anything that has a na-na-na part (I called it the Na-Na-Na effect).

What we didn’t like? It sound like something we have heard before, i.e. Ke$ha. The song doesn’t sound like it’s a brand new single from them. It sounds like a song that we have all heard before (it might to do with the fact that every artist/band these days has a song and/or album called “We Own the Night”).  The other songs by them have sounded like fresher than this song.

Song is still a good song and a good end of summer anthem, it’s just sounds like something we’ve heard before, which will ultimately be the downfall of this decades music.

 

Rating: 3.5 bottles of Jack out of 5

Katy Perry makes it roar

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The queen of cupcake bras and fireworks is back and she’s ready to make her new music shine. Katy Perry released her newest single, “Roar”, today and let me tell you….it’s sounds like a Katy Perry song. Take a listen:

The song starts out sounding like “Hard knock life” from Annie and that rap song of the same name by a little rapper known as JAY-Z (I’m eagerly awaiting for a mash-up called “Hard Knock Roar” so get on that internet). The lyrics are very “Firework-y”, and by that I mean they are inspirational. The only difference is that these lyrics paint a better picture than what “Firework” did, which we can thank her “boyfriend” John Mayer for. The lyrics in “Roar” talk about coming out on top when the world is out to get you while “Firework” talks about feeling like a plastic bag in the wind. While one can argue that “Fireworks” is more metaphoric and that the lyrics aren’t meant to be taken literally, I say you’re overthinking it and just to move on with your life.

The song itself will get stuck in your head and make you want to beat it out of your head, which is a standard practice with any Katy Perry song.

What didn’t work for the song? Well, it’s suppose to be musically different than her “Teenage Dream” stuff but it’s realistic isn’t. The lyrics are a thousand times better than the “Teenage Dream” stuff, but the music itself is what’s holding back the song. Katy Perry shouldn’t be playing around with her sound on her fourth album, “Prism”, either. Usually by the fourth album, an artist knows what their sound is and can play around with it a little bit but not totally take their career in another musical direction. Artist that do that, i.e. The Simpson sisters, don’t have success with that album most of the time. Hopefully, Katy will be the exception there but we will have to wait to see if that is the case when she releases “Prism” on October 22.

 

Rating: 3 tigers out of 5

Mother Monster mad, Mother Monster smash!

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Looks like it isn’t the time to get on Mother Monster’s bad side.  Lady Gaga and her camp, or should I say Haus, had a leak tonight and it was a pretty huge one. Her latest single, “Applause”, was supposed to be out on August 19th, in honor of the pre-order for Gaga’s latest masterpiece ARTPOP, but parts of it was leaked and she isn’t a happy camper.  Just take a look at the tweets she let out:

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Rumour has it that they might be moving up the release just so the song won’t leak, but it just might be a little too late for that. The single itself could possible leak anytime now. It’s really only a matter of time and time isn’t on Gaga’s side.

The irony in this whole situation is that a Gaga “demo” leaked this week, called “Aqua” or “Burqa”, which she doesn’t seem to be too worried about. This could be a sign that the song was supposed to be on her third, but really second, album “Born This Way” or even on there second, but really deluxe edition of her first, album “The Fame/The Fame Monster”.

If I was Lady Gaga, which would be a scary thought to begin with,  I would be trying to see if the song could get released early because with over a billion people using the internet, it’s going to be hard find out who leaked that song.  The leaker could have even sent it to multiple people by now. Using the leaking to your advantage is the only thing Lady Gaga should be doing now.

 

Do you agree with someone leaking parts of “Applause”? Leave it in a comment below!!