Pop Project Explains: Cady Herron was the villain in ‘Mean Girls’

That’s so fetch

Yesterday was the 14th anniversary of the release of the most iconic movie, “Mean Girls.” If you have not seen this movie, then I’m deeply sorry for you. This movie will change your life. I thought that I would explain the movie in honor of the release of this movie. It was during my research that I discovered something more chilling and true. I was upset that I didn’t notice it earlier. Welcome to the latest edition of “Pop Project Explains.” This is where I explain things.

In the movie, Lindsay Lohan stars as Cady Herron. Cady is supposed to be the protagonist of the film because she is the main character/narrator of the film. But in all actuality, she’s really the villain of the film. You read that correctly. Now before you click off of this, I’m not saying that Regina George is a saint. She is far from it. But let’s look at the bigger picture here.

Cady Herron, with the help of Janis and Damien, was systematically destroying Regina’s life. They broke up Aaron Samuels and Regina, made The Plastics turn again her, and they even made gain weight so she would lose her “bitchin’ bod.” Then once they got did ruin her life, Cady pretty much just swooped in and stole Regina’s life and gained control of The Plastics. She cast aside her relationship with Janis and Damien once she was done with their help. This is just icing on the cake our so-called “protagonist.”

Cady Herron lied and used people. Granted, Regina did the same thing to a certain degree. But Regina just did to get her way to the top. Cady just did it for revenge. Regina did something selfish and Cady wanted to ruin her life over something small. Cady sought out to ruin and destroy Regina’s world.

Please explain to me how we should be rooting for Cady. She doesn’t seem like the person that I would root. I’d honestly rather root for Regina George if I had to pick the worst of two evils. “Mean Girls” is really about two evil and manipulative girls trying to out-bitch each other. The one we aren’t supposed to like is the victim. Regina George victimized people but not to the extent of Cady Herron. Both did repent their ways at the end but as JoJo said, “It’s just a little too late.”

I hope that I just ruined “Mean Girls” for you because my love for the movie is scarred for life. Granted, I’ll still watch it because it’s the best movie of all time. But I will be cussing out Cady more than Regina.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more cool things.

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Pop Project Explains: ‘Glee’ and how ridiculous it was

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Don’t Stop Believin’…I didn’t know what else to put here

With the new show “Rise” bringing back a television show that focuses on musical theater, I thought it was time to reminisce and talk about the OG show.  No, I’m not going to discuss “Fame” because frankly, the only good part of “Fame” was the 1980 movie that starts it all. We are going to discuss “Glee,” or as I will be calling it “The Lea Michele Show.” Welcome to another edition of “Pop Project Explains.”

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If you are new to how “Pop Project Explains” works, I pretty much just tell it like it is. I honestly look at something and just make fun of the ridiculous that it is. Click the link above to read more about them. If you are looking for my past “Glee” articles, click here because I did a lot of them. So let’s dive into it now.

What is Glee?

“Glee” follows an overly pushy Jewish girl with two gay dads named Rachel Berry, played by Lea Michele. She has big dreams and is a borderline sociopath While she does get better and more likable as the show goes on, it’s all about her and what she wants. She steals the head cheerleaders boyfriend, only helps people in order for her to shine, sends a girl to a crack house because she’s worried about getting the spotlight over her; the list just goes on.

“Glee” takes place at William McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio. Apparently, no one on the show has ever been to Ohio because I’ve never seen a show less like Ohio. Like they have outdoor hallways and lunchrooms. How does a school have outdoor hallways when the weather is unpredictable like Cardi B? Also, how does a Ohio public school afford this?

The show is pretty much just built around Rachel. There’s plenty of other character but they just there. Sure, sometimes they get the time to shine but it’s not as much as Rachel. They even point this out repeatedly through the series but nothing happens about it. And the best part is that the teachers just let it happen. Sure, Rachel is extremely talented but let others shine. Even after she graduated it was still all about her.

The true stars of the show were the McKinley High Jazz Band and their Pianist. They must be a bunch of musical geniuses because they could play any sort of song or genre at a drop of a dime. They would literally just walk up to the front of the classroom and then start singing. The band just knew what song to play. Why are they wasting their talents on playing for a show choir?

For the majority of “Glee” existence, they complained about the budget they had but yet they did overly beautifully produce numbers that they never performed at any of the competitions. They did a mashup of the theme from “Singin’ in the Rain” and Rihanna’s “Umbrella.” It was full on raining on stage while they were performing. How can you not afford buses to sectionals? Also, where is the school board stepping in to look at this? There so much more money going toward useless performances that could have gone towards something else. 

I hope this helped explain “Glee” more to you. I also hope you realize how ridiculous this show was. Good show, just a bit too much. If you haven’t seen “Glee,” I highly recommend it.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me every day.

Pop Project Explains: High School Musical

 

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We’re soaring, flying!

Since I love crushing childhood memories, I thought it was long overdue to explain “High School Musical.” Welcome to the end of your childhood on this edition of “Pop Project Explains.” ‘We’re All in This Together” so let’s just jump into it. Warning now: this is freaking long. There’s a lot of things to go over.

 

What is “High School Musical?”

Please note that I’m only explaining the first movie and not the entire franchise. I don’t want to send people into shock. Also, I think we can all agree that the first movie is the most messed up than the other two. Oh, this will have spoilers so if you haven’t seen “High School Musical” then you need to question the life choices you have made up to this point. Just go watch it, it’s a need.

“High School Musical” follows Troy and Gabrielle as the lose their musical virginities. They met on winter vacation while being peer pressured and forced to sing karaoke in what looked like the Cagefighting version of karaoke. Two singers enter, one song dies. They both ended up attending East High together as Gabrielle moved to the school district for plot purposes. Oh, and her mother got a new job. Gabrielle’s mom apparently can’t hold down a job. It’s so bad that she has to promise the company that she won’t move again until after Gabrielle graduates.

Gabrielle’s mother is a rolling stone. And where is her father in all of this? Are we suppose to just assume that he’s dead? Or is he okay with the fact that his daughter keeps getting moved around the country? Kenny Ortega, why didn’t you tell us this? For purpose of this “Pop Project Explains,” I’m going with that her father is dead because it’s a Disney movie. In Disney movies, at least one or both parents is dead at some point. Man, Disney movies are fucked up.

We are introduced some of the cliques of the school, which aren’t anything like the cliques you would fine in a high school. They are all too attractive and throwing slurs at each other. Chaos ensues as literally every character that has lines are in the same homeroom because of the plot. Gotta love plot conveniences! After the Disney’s version of “it was my first time, I’ve never done anything like that” sex conversation in the hallway,  Troy and Gabrielle stop and talk about the audition for the winter musical before we are introduced officially to Sharpay Evans, the bitch of the school who’s supposed to be the antagonist but is really more of the protagonist.

Sharpay also has a brother named Ryan who is pretty much her bitch. They are the leads in every play. Lead characters usually fall in love with each other. Everyone just pretty much ignores that and I will too….for now.

Sharpay sees Gabrielle as a threat and in her own mean slightly nice way, sets her up with the Taylor and the Academic decathlon because stereotyping is allowed. Gabrielle is smart so it only makes it right to she wants to join the Academic Decathalon. Don’t worry, Taylor and Gabrielle keep the stereotyping alive and well by speaking to the cheerleaders in a valley girl like way about Troy Bolton. Because both of their friends pretty much shamed them about liking new things, Troy and Gabrielle sneak into the auditorium like they are wanted for a felony just to watch the auditions. How fucking sad is that? They also see Sharpay castrate the person who wrote the show, Kelcie. What a bitch and yet, she’s the most likable person in this entire movie.

Let’s talk about the fact that Sharpay and Ryan are auditioning together with a love song. Am I the only one who finds it very wrong that Ms. Darbus, the drama club/homeroom teacher, is letting brother and sister audition for the lead role of people who are in love? Do people think that theatrical incest is okay? What is Disney trying to teach us with them? It is so messed up that I’m at a loss for words. Anyways, Troy and Gabriella show themselves but Darbus denies their audition because it’s over. They help Kelcie and give her some words of encouragement before she plays them the song Sharpay and her “brother” sing but the way it’s supposed to sound.

It is here that we are introduced to the biggest plot hole in the entire musical franchise: HOW THE FUCKING HELL DO THEY KNOW HOW TO READ SHEET MUSIC IF THEY HAVE LITTLE TO NO MUSICAL EXPERIENCE???? Explain that to me, Kenny Ortega! Let’s hear your explanation on how the plot centers around two characters that have never done musical theater before can magically read sheet music. It’s like giving two toddlers the keys to your car and having them drive perfectly fine without knowing how or reaching the pedals. And don’t say YouTube because that wasn’t a think in 2006.

Ms. Darbus apparently hear them after leaving because she has ears like a hawk and gives them a callback even though she just denied them a few seconds ago. East High has just too many problems. Troy and Gabrielle getting a callback is apparently the worst thing that has happened because it sends everyone into a song and dance number in the cafeteria where the “Status Quo” gets shaken up because of all the cliques are pretty much shaming their friends because they like something that they find wrong. Can you believe this is a Disney movie? And where is the lunch aid during all of this to break up the music number? Are they hiding in fear of getting hit or trampled? And how come none of these students are getting detention for this? If I did this at my high school, I would be in big trouble.

After Troy’s father and his best friend openly say they aren’t fans of what Gabrielle is doing to him, the basketball team and the Academic decathlon team come together to break up Troy and Gabrielle so they could just focus on the bigger picture: Winning. They were more worried about winning and than their friend’s happiness. It’s the most realistic High School thing about this movie. Oh, Troy and Gabrielle’s friends are supposed to be the protagonist of the film too. The basketball team got Troy to say that he wouldn’t do the callback and would forget about Gabrielle in order to make them happy. The decathlon team wired it up so Troy would appear on the laptop saying those things during a Powerpoint presentation they made for Gabrielle.

The real kicker is that they got it all on camera and Gabrielle didn’t even question why he was on there like that. For a genius, she’s lacking some common sense. Anyone else would think of the bigger picture and wonder how they got that footage. And how doesn’t Troy notice the webcam and the laptop open? Too many basketballs to the head cause his vision to be bad?

Both become extremely depressed not high functioning members of the teams that they are stars of and their so-called friends realize “oh, shit we fucked up.” The two teams come clean about how they were assholes. Gabrielle doesn’t care as Troy really hurt her feelings. Troy later visits Gabrielle to apologize but she doesn’t show up at the door. So he breaks an entering and end ups calling her on the phone and standing on her balcony outside her bedroom. What parent gives their teenager a balcony with doors? That’s just asking for problems. If only Gabrielle’s father wasn’t dead.  It’s here that we come to the second biggest plot hole of the franchise: TROY SINGING ON THE BALCONY DOESN’T SOUND LIKE HE NORMALLY DOES!!

We all know the reason behind that but it still. Do they just think no one will notice? It’s very very noticeable. TROY BOLTON SINGING DOESN’T SOUND LIKE THAT!!?! Anyways, Troy and Gabrielle makeup and we fade out on them smiling at each other with love in their eyes because they are going to “practicing music.” They really probably getting it on. Think about, if Gabrielle’s mother knocks on the door, Troy can just escape off out the balcony and no one will notice.

Everything is right in the world with a happy montage until the incestuous bitchy twins get the date of the audition moved to the same day as the big game and the academic decathlon, which would never happen in a real world because that’s too much money being use by the school besides the fact it’s making people/fans pick if they like sports, theatre, or academics. I’m also pretty sure you would have to get approval for that. But the assholes come together to create a plan that will allow Troy and Gabrielle to do everything.

Their plan you ask: release toxic gas in the air that may or may not kill everyone and cause a power surge in the gymnasium that could start a fire or make things explode. Again, these people are supposed to be the protagonists of the film. This all occurs with a montage of the twins performance, the game, and the decathlon. It’s a cluster fuck montage. Everyone is forced into the auditorium for “safety reasons” aka plot conveniences. This allows them to watch Troy and Gabrielle perform and are shocked at how good they are. We also see the shock on their parent’s faces. Which is stupid because they probably heard them practicing at home.

This is where the movie ends as they win the game, the decathlon, and the parts because it’s Disney. Sharpay is somewhat happy about being the understudy, which makes no sense character wise. She was ruthless and trying to get the role at any cost and then she’s just suddenly okay with not getting it? There’s also the big dance number about how “We’re All in This Together” and being there for each other. So we are just going to forget about the peer pressuring, the stereotyping, and bullying? Yes, because it is a Disney film.

I hope your childhood was ruined by this “Pop Project Explains” just like mine was researching it. The movie isn’t a bad movie. It’s just fucked up with the plot points. The movie does have a very good message…it’s just the subliminal messages that make you go “that’s not right.” You’re welcome for this.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of your childhood getting ruined.

 

Pop Project Explains: Camp Rock

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This is real, this is me!

Oh, it’s time to dive into the beloved Disney Channel Original Movie that made Demi Lovato and the Jonas Brothers a household time and brought us Demi Lovato belting out randomly for the next two years. Luckily for you, I’m here to explain the movie to you. Welcome to “Pop Project Explains.” The column where I explain things so you understand it better. Let’s get started.

What is “Camp Rock?”

“Camp Rock” is about this girl named Mitchie who pretty much guilts her mother into working at an overpriced summer camp called “Camp Rock” because it’s the latest hip and cool thing to do. There she makes up a lie that her mother was the head of a hit music show in China because that makes total sense. Because of this lie, she totally screws over the people who nice to her from the start in order to be in the good gracious of Wicked Bitch of Rock. And Mitchie is supposed to be the protagonist

Now, can we just talk about how this camp is called “Camp Rock” but yet there is hardly any rock music there? How every single event at the camp rock is called a “Jam?” For how much this camp cost an arm and a leg, you think they would come up with more clever names. Anyway, Shane Gray is a jackass that pissed off everyone in his band to the point they shipped him off to this camp in order to work on “this image.” Because nothing fixes an image like sending him to a summer camp where everyone worships you. He’s also supposed to be the protagonist. Like who wrote these characters and thought they were great characters.

The Wicked Bitch of Rock ends up screwing over Mitchie and revealing that Mitchie is an even bigger bitch that her. She lied about where she came from just to fit in. This was all because the bitch was jealous that she didn’t get a chance with the pompous jackass Shane. How is Mitchie the main character we are supposed to root for? I’m actually rooting for the people she shits on in order to be popular.

This movie is just continuing the tradition of Disney teaching people bad habits but I mean Disney, WTF? While”High School Musical” wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, but at least the people you were rooting for was actually likable. You don’t like Mitchie at all until like the last 10 minutes, even then you just want to throat punch her. Shane is just an asshole. Literally, he’s just an asshole.

And what was the point of Nick and Kevin? They are just there. I get that it’s was a package deal but at least make them more prominent in the movie if you are going to feature them in the posters. The people who Mitchie shits on are in the movie more and they aren’t in most of the promo.

This movie makes you question the youth. There’s even a sequel to this movie!?! Spoiler: Don’t watch “Campe Rock 2: The Final Jam” because it’s just a stupid. I’m sorry, not sorry for ruining this movie for you. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just the fucked up.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more awesome stuff.