Pop Project Favorite Things: 2020 Quarantine Edition

Watch out, Oprah! I’m coming for your crown with this one. I thought I would lighten the mood in the world with one of the most talked-about columns on here: Pop Project FAVVVOOORRRIITTTTEEE TTHHHHIIIINNNNNGGGGGSSSSSS (Please read this in your head like Oprah Winfrey introducing something). Welcome to Pop Project Favorite Things: Quarantine Edition. That’s right. I’m making a list of all my favorite quarantine things. There also might be some summer things in here to because believe it or not; it’s summertime. I was shocked too.

watching her empire crumble

Past Favorite things: 2016|2017|2018|2019

Eat your heart out, Oprah!

So without further ado, let’s dive into what exactly my favorite things are. Unlike Miss Oprah, I’m a broke-ass bitch, so I am unable to give these out for free. There would be a master list, but I’m that broke of a bitch, and I lost that ability. We know who is responsible for that. But I’m not too broke to give you the most excellent list of Quarantine. If I was Oprah Gail Winfrey, yes that is her real middle name, I’d grab a box of tissues and Gayle now. She’s going to be 100% shook by my list.

Drag Queens

Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

Drag queens have been a source of enjoyment during these troubled times. I wholeheartedly believe that we need a drag queen as president. Sure, Trump may think he’s a drag queen with that spray tan and sorry excuse for a weave. We all know better. They are just so fierce and sassy. I’ve been watching A LOT of RuPaul’s Drag Race and let me tell you: those queens get bitchy , and catty and I am here for it.

But on a more serious note: I’ve always had respect for them, but like what they do is an art form that needs more respect. What they do to enter-taint us (get it?) every night needs more applause and praise. My favorite queens, in no particular order, are Alaska Thunderfuck 5000, Adore Delano, Courtney Act, Bianca Del Rio, Trixie Mattel, Katya Zamolodchikova, Shangela, and of course RuPaul. There’s probably more, but they are all just talented hoes.

Being shipped to you after being in cleansed and quarantine for four months is a Build Your Own Drag Queen Ken Doll. You can make your drag queen and have Ken live out his dreams: wearing Barbie’s clothes and living his drag life. There’s also an endless supply of half-used former drag queen makeup for your use. It used to be Bianca Del Rio’s, so it’s just clown makeup.

Wearing a mask

If a Kardashian can wear a mask, you can

If you are reading this and saying, “It’s my body, my choice. The government can’t force me to wear a mask,” then in the words of Oprah Gayle, “GETTTT THEEE FFUCCCCCKKKKKK OUTTTAAAAAA HEEERRRRRRREEEE.” Again, please read that in your best Oprah voice. Look, while I’m not the hugest fan of wearing a mask, but like I get that to prevent others from getting it. I do love the fact that it’s showing us who are slightly crazy friends are. You know those friends that are on your Facebook feed. The ones that believe the government is out to kill us. 

It’s also allowed us to know those friends that are hypocritical. There’s like two camps: those who were pro banning LGBT from businesses but anti banning people not wearing masks from stores and then pro-life/anti-abortion but don’t want to wear a mask. I guess they don’t like to be judged or people telling them what to do with their bodies. Sound familiar?

I think the mask makes me more attractive, but that just says I’m very insecure about my smile. But a mask is the best part of accessorizing as well as letting mouth your true feelings to people and them never finding out. Do you know how therapeutic it is to tell an ignorant asshole to fuck off and them never to know?

For those who wear a mask, you will be receiving $400,000. It will be quarantined for 50 months. Congrats on attempting to save lives by keeps your germs to yourself. If you are refusing to wear a mask, there are tickets for you to go to Fyre Festival 2020. Enjoy assholes.

Nostalgia

Current Nostalgia jam and no, it’s not because of TikTok but rather Folklore

Like most millennials, I’ve been using my time quarantine to relieve my childhood and revisit things of my past. I have enjoyed all of it. I visited the complete discography of Demi Lovato (Here’s my review of her first album “Don’t Forget”). I’ve rewatched some of the classic anime “Sailor Moon.” I also relived the best of pop music of the 90s and 00s. It was such a fantastic time.

In honor of nostalgia, I will bring you the reunion of One Direction after they quarantine for about three months. That’s 2 weeks per member. That’s right, there will be five members but because it’s not just One Direction without all five directions. You know the five directions: Harry, Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn. Also, you are welcome for the fact that this one is short.

Activism

Protest in LA. Fuck Yeah

The amount of activism that has been going in the world has made me believe that there’s hope behind that orange pile of shit. Now, I’m not talking about the people that were protesting with their guns over haircuts. I’m talking about people going out there and protest for Black Lives Matter and other causes like that because they are tired of seeing it and want change. There were so many protests, in fact, there’s still protest and it’s showing the world how much power the police have.

The police are going around and arrest all the protesters that are doing it peacefully. People are recording it and posting it on social media like they are a Karen (don’t worry, we’ll get to Karens). The press then called out by the world for not covering the stories accurately. You see, there were only showing one side of the protest, and it was the violent protests because little know fact: News make a better rating if the news is, how do you say, exciting. And what’s more interesting than black Americans destroying shit when it was mostly bored white suburban teenagers. Yeah, this is all fucked up.

For all those who protested, in the mail is your ballot and instructions on how to vote. You can also go to vote.org. Let’s get out there and vote out those who support bigotry.

Homeless Chic

While he looks cleaner in this pic, KJ Apa is the leader of Homeless Chic. Even if it might have been for a role.

Some may call in Quarantine chic, but let’s just call it for what it is: it’s homeless chic. Personally, I think it’s sweet that young Hollywood is raising awareness for homelessness. Soon, all their tween and teen fans will be looking to screw the homeless just in case they are a celebrity.

Just because you are no going anywhere doesn’t mean you need to look like you are down on your luck and in need of a warm shower, food, and clean clothes. Like, take a shower, put on your sweatpants, and attempt to be productive in your home. Sure, you might be still hot looking like a mess, but no one soberly wants to screw someone that looks like they are sticky.

I’m not going to give you anything for this. You just need to go take a shower. Seriously, please take a shower and never look back at the homeless chic. Also, please donate to your nearest shelter that helps the homeless. While I might joke about it, it’s a severe topic.

Facebook

The only reason that Facebook is on here is that I hate the platform and everything on it. My favorite feed is toxic and full of people posting things that are against my beliefs. Now, I don’t say anything on there because I was raised right: you talk about them behind their back. You say things you would say. to their face, in case someone tries to call you out for it.

I’ve learned about the “take a break” option, where it lets you hide their post from your feed. The problem is that it’s most of the people that I follow. I respect their opinions, but there comes a certain point where it shows a person’s true colors. I’ve deleted the app off my phone and just been using the browser site. I decided to take a break from the app because I don’t gain anything from it. It honestly makes me frustrated with ignorance and stupidity.

Everyone reading will receive my new app called “Faceblock.” It prevents you from doing the following: posting something ignorant, or letting the negative keep you down. It’s in the testing stages and will be out in 2-19 years. But it’s worth the wait. In the meantime, I highly recommend you taking a break from the app because it’s toxic. Here’s a status you can post if you would like to tell the world about your break from the devil’s social media:

Dear Facebook friends, I respect your opinions and your views. But a lot of you are toxic and ignorant. I’m over your toxic posts and ignorance, as well as your lack of understanding of what considers actual news and what’s just clickbait. Because of this, I’ll be taking an extended hiatus from this platform until a time comes I wish to return to see your toxic and ignorant posts and views and have that return to my life. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

I’ll save the rest for my final list that comes in December. I also don’t want to cause any more grief for Oprah or Gayle. I bet they are freaking out over the fact that I will now have two lists this year. Don’t worry, O and G, if you thought this list was good. Just wait until the end of year one. Oh, say I to Steadman for me. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t exist.

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

Pop Project Favorite Things 2019

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. The holiday season is upon us and now it’s time for my favorite thing: making Oprah Winfrey cry in her stately manor with Gayle wiping away her tears with $100 bills. IT’S THE POP PROJECT FAAVVVORRRITTEE THIIINNGGGSSS!!! Like every year, please read that in your best Oprah voice. I know that you’ve been waiting all year for this and frankly, it’s well deserved.

Past Favorite things: 2016|2017|2018

I’m coming for you Oprah!

So without further ado, let’s dive into what exactly my favorite things are. Like last year, I’m a broke-ass bitch, so I am unable to give these out for free. There would be a master list but I’m that broke of a bitch and I lost that ability. We know who is responsible for that. But I’m not too broke to give you the most excellent list of 2019. If I was Oprah Gail Winfrey, yes that is her real middle name, I’d grab a box of tissues and Gayle now. She’s going to be 100% shook by my list.

Sex Bops

I don’t know about you but I’m living for the number of sex bops that we have gotten in 2019. I wish I could name some of them but there were too many to keep track of. If you have been living under a rock, a sex bop is a good song that makes you want to dance and also screw someone. Pretty much, it’s a song that’s going to make you want to grind your genitals up against someone else in the club. Or experience a sexual awakening. Whichever comes first. Pun intended. This year has been the year for sex in music and going “fuck yes!.” We all love a good sex bop. Everyone will be receiving a copy of the Top 10 sex bops of 2019. You’re welcome for all the sexy times you will be having.

Cast of Riverdale

They were originally on the list of my favorite things back in 2017 and frankly, they have been aging like fine wine. I’m still obsessed with “Riverdale.” Sure, I truly have no clue what’s going on 98% of the time, but it’s a quality show with a bunch of hot people on it. The “teens” are hot, the parents are hot, even the pets are hot. What is in the water beside drugs? Whatever it is, it made everyone super hot and I want some of that.

Cheryl Blossom is still the queen of the town and the real star of the show. Dem Abs have seemed to take a backseat to ongoing stupidity that is Archie Andrews. His GQ photoshoot is still what dreams are made of though. They are all the bee’s knees.

Everyone will be going home with a copy of Cheryl Blossom’s cookbook called “A hint of Maple Syrup and Destruction: how to proper ruin people lives,” a guide on how to make homemade Jingle Jangle, membership to the Josie and the Pussycat’s vinyl record club, and your own Betty Cooper ponytail. I’ll even throw in the scene where Toni Topaz and Cheryl Blossom screw. It will change your life.

Charles Melton

You are welcome for this gift

This was the year of Charles Melton. He’s so nice, he’s on the list twice. His big break, besides The Dale, was in the movie “The Sun Is Also a Star.” I’ve lovingly called the film “The Sun Is Also a Star that is Born.” But he’s been on all of our radars since he took over the role of Reginald Mantle in 2017. He has moved past the label of Reggie 2 and is now the reason everyone watches “Riverdale.” Besides Cheryl Blossom. He’s just too good looking not to stare at.

Words cannot describe the attractiveness of Charles. He’s like a cute puppy with abs. He just so good to look at; you can’t help but smile. He’s was in the video for Ariana Grande’s “Break up with Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored.” Yes, that was the actual title of the song, and it’s a mood. He was hot in that too and he wasn’t even the focus. Again, 2019 was the year of Melton. I AM HERE FOR ALL THINGS MELTON. Oh, he’s also single now too if you were looking to slide into his Instagram DMs.

Everyone will be leaving with a copy of Charles’ modeling pictures bound and sprayed with cologne with love letters he wrote. I’ll even get you an extra copy just in case you want to share Charles Michael Melton with the world. Or if you want an additional copy for yourself. You will probably keep it for yourself.

Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson

Just in case you have been living under a rock for the last couple of months, YouTubers Shawn Dawson and Jeffree Star shook the world. They released their newest series, “The Beautiful World of Jeffree Star.” It gave the world an insider look at how makeup was made. It also debuted Shane Dawson’s makeup line and documented how he became better at makeup than you will ever be. Sure, some wish it didn’t tease us with the drama that happened in the beauty community, aka BeauTubers, and not show. But it was still everything. It’s frankly the best advertising tool we have seen. It got their collection, The Conspiracy Collection, to extremely high numbers and even broke the internet.

If you look underneath your chair, you will be leaving with a picture of Shane and Jeffree’s collection. If Oprah wasn’t able to get you the hottest makeup collection, what makes you think I’ll be able to? You’re going to have to wait until May 2020 when it restocks like everyone else. But I will give you Jeffree Star discography because frankly, it’s underrated.

Ariana Grande

Yes, Ariana Grande continues to be a constant on my list each year. Last year, she was our woke Twitter queen, and she continues to be that this year. She gave us a new album, “Thank u, Next,” as well as a live album, “K Bye for Now (SWT Live).” She was the gift that keeps on giving. Oh, and I’m still patiently waiting for her to tour with *NSYNC. In case you forgot, She headlined Coachella and performed with *NSYNC. She was that bitch this year. Sure, there was no Justin Timberlake, but she can replace him on tour. She’s the only person that would replace JT, and no one would care…that much. 

Like last year, you all will be walking away with Ariana Grande wigs, oversized sweatshirts, signed lithos, lollipops, and her complete discography. And if you look under your chair, there’s a Mr. Purple and a Cat Valentine wig for you. And again, no, Mr. Puple isn’t a sex toy.

Disney+

Oh, Disney+. It’s been the greatest and the worst thing that has happened to the world in 2019. Sure, it’s everything to go on nostalgia trips with shows and movies that you haven’t seen in years. But now everyone and their mother has or is going to have a streaming service. Do you know how much money is going to be? Don’t get me wrong, I cannot wait to be able to stream and relive my childhood. But at what cost? There’s no gift for you with this thing. It’s just something to think about.

Oh, Disney+ gave us Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda is a mood and will forever be the greatest Disney Princess and Star Wars character ever created. Baby Yoda for President. Baby Yoda for life.

Jonas Brothers

2019 was the return of the Jonas Brothers. They lost the purity rings, got married, and lost their Disney label and sound for a more mature sound and label. Nick, Kevin, and Joe Jonas released a new album, “Happiness Begins,” and started a new tour. They gave us so many good bops this year that it ain’t even funny. “Sucker,” “Cool,” “Rollercoaster,” the list goes on and on. It was also fun to hear the Jonas Brothers sing Nick/Joe’s other work. Kevin’s other work was displayed on the tour bus. It’s finger painting and lullabies. But don’t worry, Nick Jonas is still everyone’s favorite Jonas. Even with his dadbod. His dadbod is mood.

Everyone will get free memberships to the failure that is Jonas Vinyl Club. There’s also the Nick Jonas Bacon and Cigar Club, Joe Jonas Cake, Sex, and Weed Club, and the Kevin Jonas Nursing Rhyme and parenting Club. There’s a lot of Jonas side clubs that were all so much better and reasonably priced compared to the Jonas Vinyl Club. We need to get them more publicity.

Britney Spears

Unlike in past years, I’ve included the Queen because it’s her. Last year, she got thrown a parade and didn’t even say a word. This year, while it was a hard year for our savior, she owned Instagram and made it hers. For that, She is on the list for the second year in a row. Everyone will walk away with her complete discography, including Britney Jean. As well as, you will also have all of her perfumes because who needs new music when you can have an endless supply of perfume.

And this years’ “Fuck you” go to…

  • the people that still believe they live in the 1930s
  • the people that believe that LGBTQ people aren’t people and don’t deserve rights
  • all the ignorant people who still judge people by sexuality, race, religion, etc. 
  • people that don’t want to help people from other countries
  • bigots
  • everyone that feels right about using children to justify their casual homophobia, racism, and/or being horrible people
  • anyone that feels good about making others feel horrible about themselves to feel better. I hope it was worth making someone feel like absolute shit.
  • everyone you think you are better than others. We are all the same. 
  • the parents that secretly or openly disapprove or hate the fact that their child/children are LGBTQ. Who cares who they fall in love with or identify as? Just as long as they are happy should be all that matters. And fuck you if you have kicked them out because of it. You are a horrible parent and person
  • everyone who doesn’t want to talk about how to stop people from fucking shooting other people every day. I’m frankly tired of hearing about it. We didn’t fix it in 2019 so let’s shoot for 2020, K?

This will do it for this year’s Favorite Things. I’ll be sending the police to Oprah’s compound just to make sure she’s okay. She’s probably already thinking how she’s going to top my list next year. Oprah is brainstorming my demise with Gayle by the fireplace. Bring it on, O.

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

Pop Project Favorite Things 2018

Get ready to eat your motherfucking heart out again, Oprah

It’s that time of year! It’s time for the yearly tradition of making Oprah hide away in fear and jealousy. It’s also the event that you secretly live for. It’s okay, you don’t need to say anything more. I got you, boo! Welcome to “The Pop Project: with Steven Kaufman” FFFFFAAAAVVVOOORRRIITTTEEE TTTTHHHHIIINNNGGGGSS! Like every year, please read that in your best Oprah voice. It will make my year. 2018 was a suck year, but these things didn’t. 

Click here to view past favorite things: 2016|2017

So without further ado, let’s dive into what exactly our favorite things are. Like last year, I’m a broke ass bitch so I unable to give these out for free. A master link will be provided if you would like to get some of these things…minus for people. I can’t sell people. That’s illegal.

Ariana Grande

Besides the fact that Billboard named her Woman of the Year for 2018, she has been the gift that keeps on giving. While I’ll forgive her for the lapse in judgment that she had when she decided to let Pharrell touch “Sweetener,” she has been killing it this year. Between “No Tears Left to Cry,” “God is A Woman,” “Breathin’,” and “Thank U, Next,” her music has been everything and everywhere. Have you seen the video for “Thank U, Next?” It’s literally iconic. Plus, she’s still the iconic queen on Twitter next to Chrissy Teigen. Ariana Grande is just the gift that keeps on giving. She’s woke and I’m here for it. She has had a very rough year and yet she still’s able to be positive and just be a queen. 

Besides her discography, you all will be walking away with Ariana Grande wigs, oversized sweatshirts, signed lithos, lollipops, and Pete Davidson. He needs a good home. And if you look under your chair, there’s a Mr. Purple for you. And no, it’s not a sex toy. Oprah didn’t give those out so why would I?

2018 was one of the gayest year

I’m here for how gay 2018 was. While it was a bad year, there was so much positive LGBTQ happens in the media that it made me smile. We had more and more people standing up to protect rights, more prominent roles in film and TV, as well stereotypes are going more and more away. While I wish more people would just let people love who they want, there’s just so much support shown in the world that it just couldn’t help but make you smile. Am I wanting to think positively about this? fuck yeah! But it’s also true. If we keep supporting and accepting each other as we have been, then we can change the world. Who doesn’t love changing the world?

Everyone in the studio audience will be walking away with a bottle of love and glitter. I don’t know what else to give besides just love and glitter. I’ll give you a rainbow heart cookie.

Big Dick Energy…or BDE

This sums up BDE

This was brought to us by the one and only Ariana Grande. If you have been living under a rock, Big Dick Energy, or BDE,  is something that was born and raised to iconic status in 2018. According to the only dictionary that matters, Urban Dictionary is “that confidence you got knowing you got an enormous penis, but BDE isn’t exclusive to the well-endowed.”

In 2018, this is what people are finding attractive now. I’m all for this because frankly, we need more of this confidence in the world. Now, I’m not saying this because there’s a fine line where confidence isn’t being cocky….pun intended. You want to be confident without being cocky. Cocky isn’t attractive what so ever unless you have a complex and are into bad boys/girls. And let’s be real for a moment: Who isn’t into them? While you might not want to date them, you have a soft spot for them that you would like to fix by them? 

You’ll be walking out with a book “So you want that Big Dick Energy?” and the first batch of my “BDE” fragrance. It’s so you can smell like you have a big dick even if you don’t.  Everyone deserves to smell like they are packing heat.

Drag Queens

If you don’t get it, google it

Like stated above, 2018 was extremely gay. Leading 2018 into the light was drag queens. If you don’t love or never experienced a drag show, then you need to get with it. Those are usually the highlight of anyone’s night. Drag shows are all about being who you are and having fun. Drag Queens are just the ambassadors of fun and rainbows. It’s been a good year for drag queens. We really need to have drag queens run the country. Think about how much fun and exciting everything will be?

Everyone will be going home with their own drag queen as we have dolls that you can turn into a queen. Let’s be real: Ken is already a queen. He’s been tucking it in for years. You will also get a makeup kit from Jeffree Star as well as glitter. 

Charlie Puth

Does he have your attention now?

Honestly, this was the year for Daddy Puth. I call him Daddy Puth because he’s pretty much a musical daddy. Anyways, after teasing us with “Attention” for the last year and a half, he gave us his album “Voicenotes” and boy, he delivered with that album. He also decided to take his shirt off during this concerts now. I’m not sure if you have seen him lately, but he definitely earned his title of daddy Puth. The boy has been hitting the gym and hitting it hard. Most people don’t realize that he’s actually ripped. I think that it’s because he wears comfortable clothes. He’s wearing the abs version of a Wonderbra.

Everyone will be going away with a signed shirtless photograph of him, as well as all his albums. If you look under your seat, there’s nothing because I couldn’t find anything to stick there. Oh, and you will all get a private concert from Daddy Puth.

Shawn Mendes

Shawn Mendes has really had a helluva year. He released his album “Shawn Mendes” and has been much been everywhere this year. He was on my list back in 2016 and he has returned back. Dude has been slaying it and I’m all for it. Between him talking about anxiety to him calling out Rolling stones. He’s just been a boss this year and I love it. He has also gotten out of his shell a lot. While he still seems comes across too serious, he seems more fun. I’ve always said that Charlie was the fun goofy one and Shawn was the one who will tell you honestly about your life as he drives your drunken ass home. He’s responsible. 

Everyone will be leaving with a signed copy of his latest album. You will also get a VR experience where you are the hands in his video for his song “Nervous.” Still the dirtiest and hottest video he has done. More people have never wanted to be a set of hands more than in that video. I’m feeling generous so I’ll give you a sign copies of his shirtless spread since everyone loved it back in 2016. It’s what Oprah would do.

Britney Spears

When you can get a parade thrown for you just to walk out and not say a word, it’s a fabulous year. Get it, Britney. Everyone gets a parade and a bottle of her unisex scent.

Take it all in

Amount of fucks given

I love how fucks are given in this picture

I’m not sure if you were aware but there were so many fucks given that even Oprah would have included it in her list. The world was so woke that everyone in their mothers was out protesting for what they believe in. We, as a country, need to be more active with our voices when we don’t agree with something that our government is doing or not doing. We have that freedom and it’s damn time that we use it. 

So instead of making jokes about some sort of gifts that I was going to give out. I’m going to give out fuck you. I made a list and I checked it twice. I’m going to just tell you a big “fuck you” if deserve one. If you make this list you probably do. 

And the fuck you go to…

  • Fuck you to the people that still believe they live in the 1930s
  • Fuck you to all the people that believe that transgender people aren’t people and don’t deserve rights
  • Fuck you to all the ignorant people who still judge people by sexuality, race, religion, etc. 
  • Fuck you, Shay Van Buren
  • Fuck you, Rachel Tice
  • Fuck you people that don’t want to help people from other countries
  • Fuck you bigots
  • Fuck you to everyone that feel right about using children to justify their casual homophobia, racism, and/or being horrible people
  • Fuck you to anyone that feels good about making others feel horrible about themselves to feel better. I hope it was worth making someone feel like absolute shit.
  • Fuck you to everyone you thinks you are better than others. We are all the same. 
  • Fuck you to the parents that secretly or openly disapprove or hate the fact that their child/children are LGBTQ. Who cares who they fall in love with or identify as? Just as long as they are happy should be all that matters. And fuck you if you have kicked them out because of it. You are a horrible parent and person
  • Last but not least, fuck you to everyone who doesn’t want to talk about how to stop people from fucking shooting other people every day. I’m frankly tired of hearing about it so let’s fix that in 2019. K?

CLICK HERE FOR THE COMPLETE LIST OF FAVORITE THINGS

That will do it for this year’s edition of favorite things. Hopefully, you have enjoyed all the gifts that I have given this year. I have always enjoyed being Oprah once a year. Let’s see Oprah top my favorite things. She’s quaking in her compound.  

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.


Pop Project’s Favorite things 2017

favorite-things17-sm

Oprah, eat your motherfucking heart out.

It’s time once again for the annual event that you secretly don’t even know you live for. I hope you are holding onto your weave because I’m going to be snatching your edges. Welcome to “The Pop Project: with Steven Kaufman” FFFFFFAAAAVVVVOOOORRRIITTTEEE THINNNNNGGSSSSSS! Please make sure you read favorite things like Oprah does. I hope you are sitting down because this will be epic.

Click here for last year’s Favorite Things

Now, let’s talk about my favorite things this year. Oh, and the links to get items aren’t free. I’m not really Oprah as much as I want to be. I’m a broke ass bitch.

Riverdale and dem Abs

eff5d4b9dac42dfd0288390d68e0b72d

Dem abs running

I’m slightly addicted to “Riverdale” and I’m not in any way close to seeking help for my addiction. This show is pretty much everything that I have ever wanted in a television. It’s addictive, dark, and gritty. Also, everyone on that show is like super attractive. Between the cast and how the show is shot, it’s just appealing to the eyes. But we all know the real reasons we just can’t stop watching “Riverdale.” It’s because of the real stars Dem Abs on Archie Andrews and Cheryl Blossom.

Dem Abs were the main focal point of the first season. They were flaunted in front of us because they are GLORIOUS. It so sad that they aren’t featured more in this season. They deserve an Emmy. Cheryl Blossom is also my queen. Her lines are the best out of everyone in the entire show. Veronica is the only one close to her crown. But Cheryl is the star of the show and who everyone wants to see. Can we just have a Cheryl Blossom spin-off?

Everyone will be going home with a copy of GQ Austraila’s photoshoot of KJ Apa, which I broke down for you here, Cheryl Blossom’s cookbook called “A hint of Maple Syrup and Destruction: how to proper ruin people lives,” and binoculars so you can be like Betty Cooper and see Dem Abs in all their glory. Oh, and if here a link if you want to buy the first season on DVD.

Taylor Swift’s Reputation

Can we have a moment to talk about how good this album is? I know everyone was worried about it due to it being nothing like she has done in the past. But it was actually rather lit. The best part of the entire album? Hearing Taylor Swift singing/saying shit. It was everything. If I had remembered to write a review about, I would have given it a 4 out of 5. “Reputation” is life. While it’s not as good as “Speak Now” or “1989,” it is something that will make you go damn. The old Taylor is dead and no one is in mourning the loss…..as much as they would if it would have sucked.

If you look under your chair, you will find a bunch of snakes serving you tea. You will also walk away with life-size birdcage because we’re kinky like that. But if you are looking for your own copy of “Reputation” then click here to purchase it.

Poppy

esteemedimmaterialhorsechestnutleafminer

If Poppy isn’t happiness, then why is she so fabulous?

Probably the creepiest yet interesting thing to come in 2017 is the rise of Poppy. Just something about this YouTube star and singer makes you addicted to her. It might be the fact that no one knows if this is all an act or is this a real person that acts like a robot? Either way, I’m living for her strange yet comforting videos. You just want to know more about her. Everyone wants to be Poppy. She’s our favorite internet girl. While her older music is everything, her music is still something that will make you just want to break out into song with her.

Everyone will be leaving with a potted plant to call a friend as well as doge to love and to pet. Click here to buy Poppy’s album “Poppy. Computer.” The album itself is something magical.

Descendantsd2-promo

With this inclusion onto my favorite things, you would never guess that I’m 26. Yes, the
Disney Channel Original Movies “Descendants” and “Descendants 2” are actually the best DCOMs to come out since the days of High School Musical. If you haven’t read my review of the newest movie, click here. The franchise is just so freaking catchy. And the music isn’t what you would normally hear in musicals. While Disney has always and been the best when it comes to their musical endeavors, “Descendants” raises the bar and make it

Everyone will get round-trip tickets to Auradon and a personal tour of Auradon prep. If you are lucky, maybe you can play with a lizard of a former evil villain. If you looking to get your hands on the newest movie, here’s the link for it so you can buy it.

Dragging on social media

This was the year where we brought back tar and feathering. Instead of getting in trouble with the law because it’s illegal to actually tar and feathering someone, we just did it on Twitter. If you did something wrong and you’re famous, the internet would get woke and start a #insertyournameoverparty. That wasn’t the kind of party where you dance and have fun but rather you got dragged. You were dragged hard and fast by your edges. There wasn’t any sort of redemption.

Because of the dragging, there will be cream underneath your chair to help with the rash. I don’t have any sort of link from Amazon for cream because why would get that from there? If you need cream, then just go out and get it.

This will do it for this year’s edition of my Favorite things. Here’s a link to all my Favorite Things in one spot, including some things that aren’t. Its my Amazon influencer page. Oh, and if you are waiting for me to give you a car, then here’s a gif of Oprah giving them out because again, I’m a broke ass bitch.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more cool shit.