‘Cruel Intentions 2’ is a bittersweet symphony

Get ready! This is one of those movie reviews where I watch a movie so you don’t have to. “Cruel Intentions” has become one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s so iconic that I can’t think of the 90s without thinking about this movie. It’s because of my love for “Cruel Intentions,” I decided to find and watch the sequel to it because why not. I now regret my decision and I hope that you won’t make the same mistake I did. 

Me after watching this movie.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REVIEW OF “CRUEL INTENTIONS”

It’s a bitter sweet symphony

“Cruel Intentions 2” was the direct-to-sequel to “Cruel Intentions.” It was actually never intended to be a film. The film that we know of today was originally supposed to be a pre-sequel series entitled “Machester Prep.” It took the characters from the first film and set up the early years for Sebastian and Kathryn. The series recorded and produced three episodes before it could air. They took those three episodes, added more scenes to it, and called it “Cruel Intentions 2.” Sigh. 

Filmed by the same person that created the original, “Cruel Intentions 2” followed Sebastian as he moved in with his father and new stepmother. Sebastian must quickly adapt to his new school as well as dealing with his step-sister Kathryn. The two quickly clash due to their similar personalities. The films follow them up as they grow to use each other to help get ahead at their school and in life.

They must have been drunk/high when they though they looked like a young Ryan Phillippe and Sarah Michelle Gellar

Within in the first five minutes, I knew what kind of movie that this was going to be. I went in with low expectations but this movie wasn’t very good at all. It had all the characters and setting but didn’t capture what made the first movie so good. I get it was a television show but shots looked low quality. The movie also relied on some of the same plots of the original movie. Like the iconic kiss between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair was in the movie again. It was a farce compared to the original. And yes, I just used the word farce.

The acting in the movie was okay. There was no chemistry between any of the actors, especially the ones playing younger Sebastian and Kathyrn. For two character that was step-siblings with sexual tension, there was little to none there. The actors also don’t look anything like the actors from the first movie. It would have been nice to get someone that looks close to Ryan Phillippe and Sarah, especially when it was only a few years prior to “Cruel Intentions.”

Production of “Cruel Intentions 2” came across very rushed. While I praise the fact they made it seem like one movie and not three separate episodes put into one, the added scene doesn’t really add anything to the movie. It’s just extra nudity that I could have really done without. It felt like it was just there for the rating. They also spliced two different movies soundtracks together. Using the music from “Cruel Intentions” is absolutely fine, but music from “Jawbreakers” was also used. I don’t know if this was supposed to happen but it’s just weird.

The actual writing of the movie isn’t bad at all. If they would have shown some effort and created a better movie/show, it wouldn’t be so bad. Better actors that actually looked similar to the original actors and better production would have made it enjoyable. But this movie lost my interest before the start of the second episode. It was rather hard to watch. 

Verdict

“Cruel Intentions 2” isn’t anything like “Cruel Intentions.” I would recommend just watching once just so you can know the backstory behind Sebastian and Kathryn. There’s no replay value to it what so ever. Honestly, I could have done without it. I can see why it got canceled as a television show.

Rating: 2 out of 5

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‘Cruel Intentions’ is still an iconic teen movie

Say what you want, but the 1990s and early 2000s had the best teen movies. Today, I thought I was appropriate to talk about one of the most iconic teen movies. It’s so iconic that I already thought I reviewed it. I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t yet. Don’t worry, we’ll fix that now. It’s time to review “Cruel Intentions.”

Released in 1999, “Cruel Intentions” stars Ryan Phillippe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, and Selma Blair. It was directed by Roger Kumble. He directed the 2008 Disney Movie “College Road Trip.” He’s proof that not everything you do in life can be a hit. The movie is based on a 1782 french novel called “Les Liaisons dangereuses,” or Dangerous Liasons. There’s also another movie based off the novel but that’s something less iconic. 

“Cruel Intentions” follows the step-sibling duo of Sebastian Valmont and Kathryn Merteuil as they manipulate and use people in their high society life during summer vacation. The two scheme up a plan: If Sebastian can sleep with the new headmaster’s virgin daughter, Annette, Kathryn will sleep with him. If he fails to sleep with her, then she will get Sebastian car. The movie follows the two and the chaos that they create in order to get their plan to succeed.  

Iconic cast

This movie wasn’t well like on the review circuit when it was first released. While it was a commercial success, the film has gone on to be a cult classic. Just by watching the film, you can tell why because it is perfectly done.

Between the script, the iconic lines, the music, and the acting, “Cruel Intentions” is everything that was right with the 1990s. The cast was all big name, or soon to be big names. It was an all-star cast. I’m going to assume that the reviewers back then respect a film of this caliber. Ryan Phillippe is literally everything in this movie. 

It’s also many different ways of messed up. It’s mainly in the relationship between Sebastian and Kathryn. There’s an incestuous tone to it, as you probably could have seen from my summary of it. Weirdly enough, it fits the movie. It’s also messed up how they use everyone. But without it, we wouldn’t have the iconic kiss between Sarah and Selma. It’s still iconic to this day

Most of the movie even aged well. There’s some language that you wouldn’t really hear in this day and age. Mainly because it’s offensive. The themes are your typically teen drama themes but the dark undertones of them make it so much more interesting. Even for a 90s teen movie, it was dark. It’s actually rated R. It uses it to its full advantages and I don’t think they could pull it off any other way. 

Verdict

Overall, “Cruel Intentions” is one of my favorite movies of all times. It’s a movie that everyone needs to experience. It’s a cult classic and honestly, it’s underrated. It doesn’t get the credit it deserves. I recommend it to anyone that like teen dramas. It’s the right kind of dark and twisty. “Cruel Intentions” is just an iconic movie that we need to appreciate more.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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Tyra Branks slays in ‘Life-Size 2’

Shine Bright, Shine far, Be a STAR

It’s been 18 years since everyone told Barbie to go screw Ken and wanted an Eve doll. Last night, Freeform gave the world the sequel to the movie that EVERYONE slept on when it first came out. Yeah, I’m calling everyone out. Let’s talk about “Life-Size 2.”

“Life-Size 2,” or “Life-Size 2: A Christmas Eve” premiered part of Freeform’s 25 Days of Christmas. Unlike like the previous made-for-TV movie, this movie was geared towards an older crowd. It’s kind of like making the movie for the now adults that grew up on the movie. Gasp! That’s a brilliant idea.

The movie follows Eve trying to bring holiday cheer and joy to the CEO of the toy company that is responsible for her doll line. Eve is also tasked with also getting the CEO to save her doll line in order to keep Eve and the citizen of Sunnyvale alive. It’s pretty much the premise of the OG “Life-Size” just more adult.

I’ll be honest, Tyra Banks saved this movie for me. She stole every scene she was in. In the first couple of scenes, I was very skeptical because it was just bland and typical Christmas movie. But Tyra made me interested. She made the characters around Eve likable and really got you interested in the movie. Even once Eve was gone, I was still into the movie. Granted, it was waiting for Tyra to come back but still. She got me invested in the movie that wasn’t really that interesting, to begin with.

With that being said, the other characters were rather dense and lame. It took the main adults a quarter of the movie to realize that Eve was a doll even after she told them. The children were more intelligent than some of the adults in this movie. And don’t get me started on the horrible remix they did of the Eve jingle. They ruined it.

My favorite part of the movie is the main character thinking that she had a casual hookup with a girl named Eve. It went on for a solid 15 minutes and it was everything. They didn’t make a big deal about it. They all just acted like if she would have hooked up with someone of the opposite gender. It was fun and showed how people should act. I also enjoyed Eve calling the first Eve for a pep talk and it was Tyra’s epic quote for “America’s Next Top Model.”

If you were a fan of the original, I recommend checking out “Life-Size 2.” Even if you just watch it for Tyra, it worth your time to check out. I only planned on watching it once but Tyra might have me catching it again. Again, Tyra was the most enjoyable part of this movie.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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Movie Review: ‘Spiceworld’

Spice up your life

In honor of the Spice Girls reuniting for a tour of the UK starting next may, I thought it would be a good idea to sit down and watch their movie “Spiceworld.” Yep, that’s right. There was a Spice Girls movie. Unlike the tour, it has all five spice: Baby, Posh, Scary, Sporty, and Ginger. You won’t be able to see any of those in your kitchen cabinets. Side note: it was a miss opportunity that no one made a spice girls spice rack.

Click here for our Top 5ive Spice Girls singles

Released in 2007 and in the middle of their success, “Spiceworld” was directed by Bop Spiers. You probably never heard of him as this was his most high-profile film. #Hipster. The movie follows the Quintet as they plan for their major concert. That’s the major plot of the movie. There’s also a small subplot about them trying to balance their lives as Spice Girls and having a small resemblance of a normal life. The movie is full of comedic moments like dream sequences, as well as some flashbacks. The acting in the movie is okay. The Spice Girls aren’t really actors bu they do an okay job. They are just portraying their Spice personas so it’s not like it’s super hard for them since they are doing it all the time. If you are looking for an oscar worth film, then you will be highly disappointed with “Spiceworld.” This is for of a feel good movie that you would want to watch when you are down or just looking for a good time. This movie is extremely corny and not one you would want to take too seriously. If you take it seriously, then you hate this movie. Music was all the songs you would have head from them on the radio at the time. They had only released all but their last album “Forever.” Most don’t realize that the Spice Girls only have three studio albums and a greatest hits album under their belts. I didn’t. But the musical and comedic numbers are the truly highlights of the entire movie. It’s want will make you love the movie because they are iconic. “Spiceworld” is classic campy 90s movie. Like I said before, if you take this movie too seriously then you will hate it. It’s not ment to be taken seriously but just a good time. I recommend watching it at least one time if you haven’t already. It will spice up your life. Get it?
https://youtu.be/XbG8d7CM0IQ

Rating: 4 out of 5

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