Movie Review: Lifetime’s Britney Ever After

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Buckle up, it’s an actress pretending to be Britney, bitch! Tonight, the movie event of 2017 premiered on Lifetime-a statement that I thought I would never say nor one that Lifetime had said about them in their life. “Britney Ever After” was a Lifetime movie based on the life of Britney Spears. This movie had a lot of hype for due to the amount of shade and publicity that it has received. Because it’s a Lifetime movie, I had low expection. But boy, did it even meet low expections.

This movie was a dumpster fire train wreck….the only positive thing that I can say is that I’m glad Lifetime took the time to make something. While I don’t like to use harsh swear words…I will make an exception for this. That’s how bad this movie is. The movie was a total and complete shit show. A SHIT SHOW. They really truly out did themselves with this. I went in knowing that it will be a train wreck but I thought it would be a well produced train wreck. Boy, I was wrong.

The premise of the movie is that Britney is being interviewed about her life in a 2008 documentary, which is Britney: For The Record. It jumps back and forth between 2008 and times in Britney’s life, starting when she met Justin Timberlake in 1998. It does this for the whole movie. It gets rather annoying, especially when she spends many minutes just staring into the camera. Then they throw in extra characters to talk. The extra character commentary doesn’t add to it. They are kind of there. They add in an extra girl but don’t really explain who the hell she is. It’s like she was just there to advance the plot. She disappears after her two scenes. Also, “Britney: For the Record” is a well know documentary. They could had tried to make it fit that better. I don’t remember Justin Timberlake being that much like he is the movie.

It was literally like they didn’t research anything besides the basic. They butchered the 2000 and 2007 VMA performances. The latter I thought was hard to butcher because it wasn’t a great performance to begin with. Boy, was I wrong agin. I get that they didn’t have permission to use Britney’s catalog but that still doesn’t make up for it. They also made shit up to “spicy it up” like Britney and Justin having sex on her tour bus in 1998 after their first kiss. Do you really believe they would do that? I know they were teens but still. Oh, Britney and Justin made a sex tape. Where was that on MTV? They just casual threw that in there. I feel like my knowledge on Britney and Justin have been one big lie if they have a sex tape.

The acting wasn’t anything to cry home to. It was either too dramatic, too corny, or just too much. It was like this from the first scene until the end. Britney was like a 5-year-old country bumpkin that was on cocaine. Justin was too much and extremely corny. I want to evict him from the island. Not to mention that the Spears family sounded like they were country bumpkins that have never been in the big city. The casting director was horrible and should never cast again. I could have casted better. They hardly looked like who they were suppose to. The only person I didn’t want to kill in the movie is Larry Rudolph, her manager. But it seemed like they were hinting towards him and Mrs. Spears hooking up then just dropped it. They could have tried harder. Lifetime really didn’t even try with this movie. They didn’t try to recreate the costumes right, they didn’t try to fix the acting, and they didn’t try to make it make sense. While it was reported that Justin and Britney had a dance off, which they featured in the movie, the dancing was horrible. Like it was bad. The set up was bad. It was all bad. The worst part is that they only spent two minutes talking about her rise back and it was shit. They should have covered it way better and way more.

The moral of this movie was that it’s Justin Timberlake’s fault for Britney’s mental breakdown. It was the icing on the cake of her life getting worse and her trying to get with douchebags afterwards to fill the void left by Justin and her father, who is portrayed as a loud mouth angry drunk. It also follows the Lifetime Movie motto-“It’s always a man’s fault.” Those damn men. How dare they?

The icing on the cake was they showed “I Am Britney Jean” after. This showed and totally contradicted what was presented in the movie. Again, this movie is a shit show.

Overall, this is the make the other movies look like Oscar worthy. It’s also the first recipient of The Pop Project Participation Award. Sad part is that it didn’t even show good effort.

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Have an opinion on the matter? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject. 

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Movie Review: ‘Dirty Grandpa’

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“Dirty Grandpa” is one of those movies that will make some people go “ehh” and some people go “nayyy.”

The movie follows as Robert De Niro talks Zac Efron into driving him to his home in Boca. Along the way, the two stop at spring break where De Niro meets up with two college girls. All four of them party and go on a crazy adventure of life discovery and….sprang break.

The movie is a very dirty movie. It’s dirty from the start and keeps being dirty until the very end. It’s sometimes raunchier than any Zefron movie that he has done.

Zefron and De Niro are a little strange pairing but they kind of work. Zefron is more of the “I’m not comfortable doing this” while De Niro is balls to the walls. They work but at the same time it’s kind of like “this wouldn’t happen.” Aubrey Plaza pretty much steals the show because she’s her normal funny self.

At this point in his career, Zefron just needs to show the goods. This is the most nudity he has shown, which is saying a lot since it’s his butt and parts of this manhood. Stop teasing it and just show it already. Once it’s out in the opening, it’s going to be no big deal.

Overall, it’s not a horrible movie but it’s not a great one. I recommend watching it if you are looking for a stupid dirty raunchy movie.

The movie is out now digitally. It will be available on May 17 for DVD and Blu-Ray

 

Rating: 3.5 shots of Zefron butt out of 5.

Movie Review: ‘Deadpool’

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Deadpool is amazing-plain and simple. This is my review of it because like I said, it was amazing.

The movie follows Wade Wilson from the start of him of becoming Deadpool to him trying to get back the life that he had before   he took on the Deadpool mantle. While doing this, Wilson gets involved with 2 x-men, who are trying to get him to join up.

The movie was funny from the start of the movie until the last credit. It was extremely well written and planned out. The movie’s action scenes were amazing and rather gore-y. The blood splattering on the camera and screen was amazing. The movie even makes the flashbacks flow so well with the story the movie is trying to tell in current time.  Not many movies are able to pull this off. I never got bored in between.

Ryan Reynolds shines as Deadpool. He made the character and his comedic timing was on fleek. Cultural references with the comedy adds an extra layer to the movie, especially when Wilson makes sarcastic comments about Reynolds, breaking the fourth wall, and other production notes.

Overall, the movie fit the amount of hype that it got. The movie is a masterpiece, the advertisement for it was extremely well planned out. This movie was/is amazing.

The movie is available now via Digital Download. It will be available on May 10 on DVD and Blu-Ray

 

 

Rating: 6 bullets to the head out of 5

Movie Review: ‘The Unauthorized Full House Story’

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Well, it’s time again for another “unauthorized” lifetime movie that will “show the dirt” on “Full House”, the beloved television sitcom that still airs on every family network known to man, and some known to apes.  Going into this movie, I had very little expectations due to the past lifetime movie like this that showed us how twisted Dustin Diamonds mind is because “no one liked him.”

Well, it wasn’t as bad as that but it may have been worse because it’s was boring as hell and hard to watch because it looked like they were trying to be an exact replica of “Full House” but at the same was trying to be it. The set looked like they have never saw the show before and just decided to “wing it,” some of the aspects of the movie didn’t feel like it was in the same era that it should have happened. Some of outfits, styles, among other things, just felt like they modernized it. It was off-putting because most of the time, I was wondering if they really had it during this time. Another thing that bother me was the fact they just spit in the face of the “Full House” continuum. When Mary Kate & Ashley Oslen started the show, they were babies and not toddlers  They were pretty much toddlers for most of the movie.  Also, where were the catchphrases?

If you had watched the E! True Hollywood Story on the show, then there is no need to watch this movie. The movie was pretty much a wast of time. E! True Hollywood Story at least involved the real cast and didn’t just take a big crap on the show. This was just a marketing ploy to get more ratings.

 

Rating: .5  full houses out of 5