Jojo shows ‘Mad Love’ with her third album

It’s a new month and a new year. Since it’s January and this artist just re-released all of her old music, it’s only fitting to dedicate a whole month to her. Welcome to Jojo January. No, it’s for JoJo Siwa and her obsession with big bows. That’s all the jokes I’m going to make about her since she’s only like 8 years old. I’m talking about the original teen queen Jojo. There are four Fridays in January and she happens to have three albums and two extra songs on iTunes.

The final Friday in Jojo January is here! It’s been a fun time and it’s rather sad that it’s coming to close but at least we’ve gotten to the happier time. It’s time to review the latest album that Miss Levesque has given into the world. Let’s talk about “Mad Love.”

Click Here to read the review: “Jojo”|“The High Road”|“Disaster”

Fake Ass Bitches

“Mad Love” was released in 2016 by Jojo. It came out 10 years after her second album “The High Road.” It was a long time coming and honestly one of the most anticipated releases of Jojo’s entire career. It was her first release on her new label Atlantic Records. They did her right. It was finally here. We final got the third album we should have gotten five to six years ago.

The album itself is literally everything. It was Jojo’s first adulthood album. The themes in the album have more of a mature feel to it. It has explicit lyrics to some of the song and as you probably are aware, I live for child/teen stars swearing up a storm. So hearing Jojo say the f word made this album for me.

The album tells and takes you through a story. It’s a slightly emotional start with the song “Music” before getting lighter and more upbeat. The album still has its moments but it has a decent amount of bops with this album. Some of my faves or “I Can Only,” “Fuck Apologies,” “FAB,” “High Heels,” “Edibles,” and “Vibe.” I’m a sucker for killer vocals and good beat.

I do wish that the song from her EP “III” would have made it on to the album. I get why they aren’t but they would have been a better fit than some of the song on the album. Even just as extra songs. “III” was a good taste for what we got in “Mad Love,” it’s just a shame that those three songs were over looked.

Verdict

“Mad Love” is the album that I highly recommend to everyone. It takes you on a journey from start to finish. It’s not an overly emotional journey but still a journey. Some songs are better than others but overall, it’s everything. It’s not like “The High Road” but it’s still a great album. “Mad Love” is a instant classic album.

I highly recommend also checking out Jojo’s mixtapes because they too are fire.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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Sweetwater Tea Episode 5: The Stranger

Listen up fives, a ten is speaking and I’m in the mood for some chaos. Sorry to interrupt, sad breakfast club.  There’s definitely a lot of chaos in our fateful town. Hopefully you’re in the sex bunker because this tea will scar you. Will the news that Archiekins is seemingly swimming with the fishes rock the town with pep? Or will everyone’s favorite daddy put this news in time out? Welcome to Sweetwater tea.

You never truly leave Riverdale…Riverdale leaves you in the ground

Click here for the previous edition of “Sweetwater Tea”

Old Archie can’t come to the phone right now

Old Taylor isn’t the only thing that is dead. Riverdale’s resident abs wunderkind apparently is dead. Old Archie that is. But luckily for us, the body is alive and kicking. Dem abs have come back into Riverdale alive and well and his lovable doggie boyfriend made okay too as well. But will Riverdale accept Archiekins back in with open arms?

The answer there is of course. Who doesn’t love a sensitive yet harden former jailbird with a set of abs you can bake cookies on? A didn’t realize that Riverdale has moved on while he was off playing metrosexual lumberjack in the great maple north. It’s just like how his friends and family haven’t realized that this isn’t the same Archie that left. Will they realize that Archie is just seeing red for revenge? Or is it too late to save Archie from his personal demons that have consumed his non-existent ginger soul? Or will he finally let his love for Kevin Keller save it? So the last one may not be true, but a girl can dream, right?

Between rock and a hard set of abs

We feel for you R

Oh, V, didn’t Daddykins ever teach you that two is a party but three is a crowd? While I support and encourage throuples, they are only in okay in the bedroom in Riverdale. Throuples aren’t Ronnie things and with Archiekins back in town, V seemingly pushed Reggiekins to the side. He was last years Prada bag. While everyone wants their “veggie,” “Varchie” looked to be getting back into the swing of things. And by the swing of things, I mean having sex all over the place. Apparently, she’s paying the serpents extra for that kind of protection. Someone should really tell them that sex is only okay in the bunker and not in/under Pops. That’s a major health code violation besides just being tacky. Is tacky is something that you want associated with the Lodge name, Ronniekins?

Poor Reggie is forced to resort in Bumble to mend his broken, well-sculpted heart. Loose lips sink ships, and Reggie’s loose lips definitely sunk their ship. Was it intentional or was it just an accident? Time will only tell. The only thing I know is that it was the iceberg that sunk the U.S.S Varchie faster than the Titanic. But can you really sink something that was even afloat to begin with?

Hiram Lodge: Daddy AF

Don’t worry B. You weren’t the only one to say this when poor Daddykins got shot

It’s rough to be the DILF of Riverdale. All the planning and scheme and manipulating really takes a toll on a person. Especially when two other daddies try to set up to Daddykins. Fred Andrews decided to storm into Hiram’s humble abode and go all Beverly Hills, 90210 on his ass. Of course, Freddiekins didn’t go in alone. He decided to go to the local pet store for a serpent. He got the king serpent. Does F really think the King DILF is going to be spooked by that?

Spoiler: Hiram wasn’t and in fact, Hiram just blew it off. Can you blame him? He has other things to worry about. It appears that someone got brave and shot our precious Daddykins. You know what they say; when you take a shot at the baddest DILF in Riverdale, make sure you hit. Because when Hiram shoots, he never misses. Who shot Daddykins? V thinks it was A. But was it really the butler that shot Daddykins with the gun in parlor? Looks like Ronnie will need more than a game of “Clue” to figure out who try take out daddy. Of course, it could have been Ronniekins herself? Hell hath no fury like a scorn of Lodge.

Everyone loves a daddy in Uniform

There’s a new sheriff in town and I hear he’s a little bit of a snake. Who doesn’t love a daddy in Uniform? Especially when that daddy is FP Jones. Looks like Miss Daddykins didn’t like the plans that Hiram had wanted. What Hermione wants, Hermione gets. And she wanted FP in a uniform. Can you blame a girl?

Serpents bite the hand that feeds the Gargoyle King

While the true villain of Riverdale came out in the form of the PSATs, Jughead Jones continued on with his plans to strike at the Gargoyle Gang. Juggiekins and his band of serpents, with the help of hottie Fangs, took down the Man in Black’s, aka Hiram, team one by one. Turns out, the man posing as the Gargoyle King was an old friend of the serpents. Tall Boy.

A less known serpent who recently appeared with the wicked bitch of Northside Penny Peabody and the Ghoulies. It’s just too bad that he died in the sex bunker before Jughead got any answers. J did get good use of Archie and Veronica’s handcuffs and that wicked right hand. But that’s why you get when you leave your minions to do your dirty work. But was Tall Boy really the Gargoyle King or was it just an elaborate plan by the head daddy in charge to keep Jughead at bay? If I was Jughead, I wouldn’t let my guard down just yet. The more to still story.

But has Jughead has forgotten about the wrath of the HBIC? Will Cheryl Bombshell exploded onto J after what he did to her and Toni? Of course, she will. Cheryl might forgive but she’s doesn’t forget. She just gets even. She has a arrow with his name on it. Pointed right at his heart.

The Cooper Family Values

Maybe Choni can fund Betty Cooper to College with their sex money

While Jughead was having private rendezvous with hunky Fangs in his and Betty’s sex bunker, Betty had other things on her mind. Like her mother becomes the farm’s resident MILF. Alice Cooper turned into a cult MILF and funded their newest endeavor. How? Well, Alice also got a little bit of the sticky fingers. It’s so bad in fact that Betty had to go visit Daddy in the big house. Mommy Dearest happen to forge his signature in order to purchase a home for the children in the Betty Cooper foundation for the Children of the Gargoyle. Nothing says home sweet home like a place that even the nuns killed themselves to get out of. I guess Betty doesn’t need to go to college when you can just study with a cult for free.

Turns out the only women that Hal Cooper has coming back for more is his daughter and his cousin. That’s right, the town whore Penelope Blossom was parading to prison as Alice Cooper. Penelope was helping Hal get his rocks off. Not even his fellow prison mates want Hal to drop the soap. Too bad too, Hal probably wouldn’t have caught an STD from dropping the soap. But does the fact that B is visiting her dearly fucked up daddy a sign of forgiveness? Or is she just looking tap into the family darkness that turned her father onto his path to be the Black Hood?

Just because it seems like a happy ending is coming to the town with pep, doesn’t mean that it will be. What comes up, must always come down. And in Riverdale, it comes down hard and fast. Get ready kiddos, looks like you will soon be wishing that the PSATs and the Gargoyle King will be the only thing you have to worry about. Your world is about to get fucked worst than one of Hal and Penelope’s prison hookup.

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

High school gets dark and twisty in ‘Heathers’

The 1980’s were such a strange time. They had big hair, weird fetishes for hairspray, scrunchies, and obsessions for Rob Lowe. Nothing says this more than the movies that came out during this time. This was probably going to be an unpopular opinion movie review because this movie got so hyped up and it ended up leaving me going “is that it?” It’s time that talk about the movie “Heathers.”

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

“Heathers” was released in 1989, 1988 internationally, and is a black comedy movie. For those that aren’t aware of what a black comedy movie is, it’s just a movie with dark humor. It makes fun of taboo issues. The movie actually has a pretty decent cast of people that would be heavily featured in the 1990s. Shannen Doherty from “Beverly Hills, 90210,” Winona Ryder from a security tape from Saks Fifth Ave., and Christian Salter from “Interview with the Vampire.” It was directed by Michael Lehmann. He really didn’t do anything major.

Sums up this movie perfectly

The movie follows a high school clique, named Heathers. 3 of the members are named Heather. The main character of the movie is a girl named Veronica who begins to question whether or not being popular is worth it. She meets the broody and rebellious new boy at school who shows her a different more dangerous way of life. Once Veronica realizes what the new boy in town is up to, she quickly tries to stop it without ruining the flow of the queen bee.

For me, I think that this move was a tad bit overhyped. It was hyped up like “Mean Girls.” I thought the movie wasn’t bad. In fact, there it’s rather funny in parts with the dark humor. Like it’s fucked up humor. One scene is a girl fake hanging herself and her mother walks in. The girl then reveals that she’s fine just by making a typical teenage girl lines. It’s that kind of humor The movie wasn’t what I expected it to be. I knew it was going to be fucked up but not that fucked up.

The acting in the movie is okay. It’s your typical late 80s/early 90s teen movie. It’s nothing to write home about but it did add to the over the top nature. I can honestly see why people literally love this movie and it has a cult following. It was ahead of its time. If it was made near this time period, then it would have been made differently and probably more successful.

Verdict

“Heathers” wasn’t a bad movie. Looking back, I enjoyed it more than I originally thought I did. It’s iconically over the top. Like there are moments in the movie where I just look and go “what the actual fuck?” I do recommend watching it and making an opinion for yourself. Personally, I probably wouldn’t watch it again or go out of my way to watch it. I can also see why it’s a successful musical.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

I thought this was fitting since this was my face for most of the movie.

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The Fall and Rise of Jojo’s ‘Disaster’

It’s a new month and a new year. Since it’s January and this artist just re-released all of her old music, it’s only fitting to dedicate a whole month to her. Welcome to Jojo January. No, it’s for JoJo Siwa and her obsession with big bows. That’s all the jokes I’m going to make about her since she’s only like 8 years old. I’m talking about the original teen queen Jojo. There are four Fridays in January and she happens to have three albums and two extra songs on iTunes.

We have now gotten into the depressing part of Jojo January. It’s time that we get into the part where she didn’t give the world a third album until 2016. Yep, it took her 10 years for her to get us the highly anticipated follow up to “The High Road.” I feel like this has turned into a series about Jojo. I’m okay with this. Let’s cover what would have been the first single off of her third album “Jumping Trains.” This one will be the original version because the video is still up on her VEVO page.

Click here to read the previous review: “Jojo” |“The High Road”

You shot the bullet that killed me

Before we get into “Disaster,” here’s the cliff notes version of what happened. It’s a lot that happened to young Jojo. Oh, I’m not going to cover “Demonstrate.” It’s not an official single. It’s apart of her story so I’ll post my thoughts on it.

“Disaster” was released in 2011. It was supposed to be the first single off of her then third album “All I Want is Everything.” The album was actually completed back in 2009 but was waiting for her then-label Blackground and Da Family Entertainment Records to sign distribution rights to release it. When they failed to do so, she sued them and won. After she won, she was released from her contract and Blackground Records set up for the album to release on Interscope Records.

That ended up falling through. During this time, Jojo also remade her third album. They planned on having “Demonstrate” being the new first single for the new third album called “Jumping Trains.” It wasn’t until 2013 that Jojo was fully free from Blackground. That came at a price as her discography and back catalog under Blackground records. Hence, why she re-recorded and re-release all her old music. I hope that all made sense because it’s a lot. Oh here’s the court complaint aka the tea.

The song

“Disaster” is what I would consider the sister song to her hit “Too Little Too Late.” It has the same feeling of that song. The song is catchy and upbeat and just feels like an anthem. It has a pop rock/power pop feel to the song. It’s kind of like the 2010’s version of “Since U Been Gone.”

The song is about being in a relationship going south and just not being like it was first like was. There’s also lyrics suggesting that there’s some deep shit going on. It just adds to a song that really got the raw end of the deal. Besides the behind the scenes crap, the song was criticized because it wasn’t “showing her progression as an artist.” This was mainly by the critics but I don’t think they were really paying attention. Jojo helped write the song when she was 21 years old. I know when I was 21, I was writing about this kind of stuff.

Thoughts on “Demonstrate”

“Demonstrate” was suppose to be released the summer of 2012. It was the new first single off of her third album. I don’t think it’s a bad song but I do think that “Disaster” is definitely a strong single. Demonstrate is a slow and sexy single that is definitely something that we didn’t hear from Jojo. But it was a step in the right direction overall. I wish we could hear both versions of the third album before it became “Mad Love.” Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Verdict on ‘Disaster’

Personally, I think “Disaster” is a bop. I think it got too much hate on it for being too similar to “Too Little Too Late.” While I consider it to be the sister song, it’s definitely more mature than “Too Little Too Late.” It’s honestly it’s underrated. I think it got a bad rap just because they focused too much on it being similar to “Too Little Too Late” and not on the growth itself. The new version that she re-released is amazing but honestly, nothing compared to the original. It’s something about Jojo’s music that makes it so special. It’s a shame that some people aren’t able to have both versions to listen to. Greed is a dangerous drug.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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