Sweetwater Tea Episode 3: Across the river ​​to Greendale ​​we go!

Listen up fives, a ten is speaking and I’m in the mood for some chaos. Sorry to interrupt, sad breakfast club. Riverdale isn’t the only town around Sweetwater River that is hustling and bustling with drama these days. There’s been plenty to go around in the town of Greendale. Some may even say that the drama in Greendale would belong in another realm. Welcome to Sweetwater Tea.

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There’s something magical in the air

While some may forget that Riverdale’s own Cheryl Blossom once healed a certifiable DILF with her last kiss ever to man, Greendale has people that are both magical and sassy just like the simply iconic Cheryl Bombshell. Your friendly neighborhood witches live in the town. They are just a little less friendly and a little sassier. That’s right citizens of Greendale, it’s just not the plants that are green. If you ever wanted to meet them, just head down to the local mortuary. I hear that Sabrina Spellman and the whole Spellman clan have that “magically touch” with the customers that walk in. They have a special connection to the dead.

Word around the coven is that Sabrina’s 16th birthday party was something that will always be remembered. Did you really think you could have a party without inviting moi? Maybe that why the party ended in a mob or it could have been the fact that Sabrina turned down her date with the devil? I guess that Sabrina was never taught the golden rule: better the devil you know.

Love was in the air but now it’s down the toliet

Oh, Harvey. It won’t be for long.

Unless you are new in town, then you aware of the front-runners for cutest couple award in the Baxter High. And no, I’m not talking about the vice principal that is cheating on his wife with a head cheerleader named Libby. Sabrina and Harvey Kinkle seem to be attracted to each other like a magnet. It’s like our little Sabrina has a spell placed on Harvey. But Harvey isn’t the only member of the Kinkle clan that is under Sabrina’s spell. No one hasn’t seen or heard from Harvey’s hunky older brother ever since he survived the coal mine explosion. It’s like he magically disappeared. Maybe that’s why the other kinkle sent Sabrina flying off on her broomstick alone.

But don’t you worry your little head. Sabrina seemed to bounce rather quickly. She was seen hanging around her new school with a new man. Nicholas Scratch to be exact. Whether it was just a private tutoring session or Nicholas just want to make some magic with her, it was getting hot and heavy. But before you go thinking of ship names, I’m fond of Sabrichols or Nibrina, it seemed to not go very far. Sabrina turned down the chance to participate in an orgy with young Nicholas and a few other attractive people. Apparently, three or more is a crowd for Sabrina. Or it could have been that her cousin was in there with his boo. Loosen up, Sabrina. You never want to pass up on orgy with the one you love. Especially when they look like Nicholas Scratch.

Everyone’s favorite teacher got a new look

Was I the only one that noticed the sudden change in Mary Wardwell appearance at school? It’s like she magically got a facelift overnight. One would say that she sold her soul to Satan just to look young and hot. She went from frump school teacher to a MILF. She’s so MILF-tastic that even the local pizza boy wasn’t seen after one delivery with her. Was she that good in bed or did her newest pet project Sabrina help her with something magical? Either way, there’s something dark and magically about Mary Wardwell. It’s turning all the men in Greendale on.

Didn’t think that so much tea could be spilled in the little town that Hiram Lodge doesn’t even notice? Maybe Daddykins should sell his soul and abs to Satan. Maybe then he can finally not to worry about another set of abs with red hair. If Daddykins needs any more help, he can certainly hit me up. I’ll happily distract dem abs so everyone favorites DILF can plot and scheme. I hear plotting and scheme turns the Mayor of Riverdale on. Maybe that’s how a lowly business owner in Fred Andrews was able to get in her pants more than once. So until next time, if you breathe it’s because I give you air.

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Sweetwater Tea Episode 2: Justice for Choni and Kevin

Buckle up because I’m in the mood for some chaos. Sorry to interrupt, sad breakfast club. While “Riverdale” isn’t back until January 16th, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t some tea to spill. It’s time to head down to Sweetwater river to take in the views with some burgers from Pops. Welcome to Sweetwater Tea.

CLICK HERE TO READ PREVIOUS SWEETWATER TEA

Originally, I was going to share this tea in the middle of the season but this tea was too hot not to share. Let’s talk about how we need justice for Choni, Toni and Cheryl, and Kevin. There’s an injustice occurring that isn’t being talked about. We also need justice for Josie but she’s a whole kettle of pipping hot tea just by herself.

Listen up fives, a ten is speaking

As I’m rewatching season one, I noticed one thing that has me wanting to drown my sorrows in a milkshake. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO CHERYL BLOSSOM AND KEVIN KELLER? I’m only like three episodes in and they have been prominent and vocal members. They have also been extremely iconic

Season two was still good to them but it was more or less just depressing. Kevin was hooking up with dudes in the woods. Cheryl was battling with discovering who she was. It was still quality character development for them. Sure, Kevin was wanting Moose and Cheryl were being pyromaniac but they had a full-fledged development. It was this season that Cheryl got the love of her life Toni, the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Toni and Cheryl are just everything together.

Where have you been gurl?

This season, what have we really gotten from them? Cheryl giving iconic one-liners with Toni acting like her sidekick more than her actual girlfriend. Kevin is trying to get Moose when realistically Moose isn’t really sure of what he wants. Kevin’s storyline is actually really good but like there really hasn’t been any development in it besides Kevin and Moose almost getting caught his father. But that was after like five episodes of nothing to do with it. And there have been some Choni moments but that’s like hearing her Jason Blossom talk a line or two.

It’s kind of like they have too many storylines going on so they can’t keep up with it. Honestly, I could do less with the gargoyle king and that stupid game. I want to know what’s going on with Choni and I want to know more about Kevin and Moose. They are most stable and honestly the smartest people in the entire show. I enjoy them more so than the core four. I could honestly go on and on about that tea on the core four.

Spoiler: When it comes to them vs Daddykins, I’m all about Team Daddykins. Hiram Lodge can kick the ungrateful Veronica to the sisters and he can adopt me. I look the other way as he and the lovely Hermione want to do. I just want to be swimming in money. If money can’t buy happiness, then why is it so fabulous?

Yes, Ronniekins. It is ridiculous.

Honestly, they just need more screen time. It’s kind of like you gave us two puppies and we fell in love with those puppies after having them for a while. Then you decided to take those puppies away from us and only let us see them for small periods at a time. I love those puppies and want more time with them.

I know there’s going to be an episode dedicated to Choni but honestly, it’s a little too late. We had Archie/Veronica, Jughead/Betty, and FP/Alice thrown down our face. Where was Choni? How many times do we really need to see them having sex? I get that Archie is super hot and it may or may not be written into KJ Apa’s contract that he has to be shirtless/semi-naked for part of the episode. I literally have no issue with that. Only issue I have is with the lack of screentime for Choni and Kevin. It isn’t even an LGBT representation issue. If they were like Ethyl, then this would be fine because she’s an auxiliary character. An extra character. All three of them, including my girl Josie, are main characters on the show.

They need to be on my screen more

In fact, there are 14 main characters on the show, including Fred Andrews and Alice Cooper, no relation to the singer. I like all of the main characters but they need to use them all properly. I honestly didn’t even know that Reggie Mantle was a main character until I channeled my inner Betty Cooper reporter. It makes sense as he’s trying to get into Veronica’s skirt.

I guess the point of this tea is that I’m tired of just having the core four be the focal point when there are eight other main characters that should be integrated more into the main story, which again is too much this season. WAY. TOO. MUCH. It also isn’t doing that much to help them for the award of “Brightest People in Riverdale.” I want more of Kevin, Cheryl, and Toni every Wednesday and want to know what’s going on with them. You

That will do it for this edition of Sweetwater Tea. I hope you enjoyed the tea and scenery of the Sweetwater River. So until next time, you know you love me.

XOXOXO Gossip Girl.

Yeah, I’m still working on closing.

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It’s time to get dark and gritty with ‘Titans’

If you are new to this wonderful blog, then you aren’t probably aware that I have a soft spot for superhero and the shows that are made to about them. At one point, I reviewed and covered all the DC shows on “The CW.” I figured it was only fitting that I reviewed the latest DC Television show because why not. I was going to review it when it first premiered but I figured, it’s better to wait until the season is over.

The iconic line

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When there’s brooding, you know who to call

“Titans” is a dark envisioning of the popular teen crime-fighting team, “Teen Titans.” It’s the first original series that was created for DC Comics’ streaming service “DC Universe.” With a rating of TV-MA, this is darker than anything the Arrowverse shows will offer. This show makes me really want them to add “Arrow” to their programming and give it the same rating. Fun fact: Arrowverse and “Titans” are produced by the same people.

The show follows Beast Boy, Raven, Starfire, and Robin. Their main mission before it all is to protect Raven from the people that are after her. During this mission, each has their own personal goal that they want to overcome. Raven is trying to stay alive and find her mother, Starfire trying to remember who is she is and her memories, Robin is trying to now be like his mentor Batman, and Beast Boy trying to find a family and just belong. They also meet some fellow “Titans” along the way to assist them in their journey to help and save Raven.

The show itself is paced out rather well but at the same time, it doesn’t give itself enough to tell the story that it wants to tell. There are only 11 episodes, but it’s almost like the story they want to tell would be a normal season length like for “Arrow,” “The Flash,” and “Supergirl.” The episodes were good but they just left me wanting more. Like I wanted more of the core four. I got the backstory of the recurring Titans and that’s fine and dandy but what about the others?

The production of “Titans” is everything. From the shooting of each scene to the way they introduced the new character. It’s just a well-done show that suffered from the first season hiccups as most shows do. It takes what makes the other DC shows so good and then adds it’s own flair to it. The rating also doesn’t hurt it. You can tell that they decided to tone it down a hair halfway through but it still made the show a little better. It was like the sprinkles on the cake that help the great tasting cake even better.

Verdict

“Titans” is a very good show that has the potential to dethrone “Legend of Tomorrow” as the best DC show. The story is what really hurt it with its first season. I really didn’t give it the time to fully go through the story. Just one or two more episodes might have been just enough to fully flesh out the story. I hope there is another season because frankly, it deserves one. I need to know what happens next. The season ended with two cliffhangers. I NEED RESOLUTION.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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Sweetwater Tea Episode 1: What the jingle jangle is happening on ‘Riverdale?’

Grab your milkshake from Pop’s because it’s about to go down. Welcome to the first edition of Sweetwater Tea.  Each week I’ll be breaking what the hell is happening on Riverdale. Since the mid-season just finished, let’s talk about the highlight of season three. Buckle up, I’m in the mood for a little chaos. WARNING: SPOILERS WILL BE AFTER THIS POINT. 

Archie is in ‘Orange is the New Black now?’ 

Yes, this all happened in a matter of eight episodes

I’m apologizing in advance, this season has been a blur. Season Three began with the trial of Archie Andrews and his abs that you can bake cookies on. Archie was found guilty after Hiram Lodge did what he does best and had the new sheriff tampered with the witness. Long story short with the Archie in jail storyline: he escapes and ends up getting acquitted thanks to Veronica and Mrs. McCoy. Oh, Sheriff ends up dead.

Archie ends up running away with Jughead to save all his friends from Hiram’s revenge. Hiram probably just wants to kill him for the amount of sex he is having with his daughter. They go visit jughead’s mother and sister after Archie showing off his glistened abs and letting a stranger hold a long ass razor to his face and shave his nonexistent facial hair off.  Turns out that Archie has a bounty on his head thanks to Hiram. It’s also on the heads of anyone that helps him. Ms. Jones calls the 2/3 of DILF squad (FP and Fred Andrews make it up with Tom Keller) to escort their sons on their respective path: Archie is running from his problems and Jughead heads back to Riverdale. 

Oh no!The kids are addicted to a RPG

Said no one ever about the Our Lady of Quiet Mercy and Murder

The main arch ends up being that Hiram Lodge is trying to use his Big Dick Energy to take full control of Riverdale. In order to do so, he uses the game Gryphons & Gargoyles. Think of a dark and twisted version of Dungeons and Dragons. The game takes over Riverdale and makes people end up taking a drug produced by at old Southside high called fizzle rocks. The drugs end up making people have seizures and see things. While Hiram and his big dick are the villains of the season, the gang are trying to figure who the hell is the creepy gargoyle king.

The game and the king turns out to be a tool the sisters at Our Lady of Quiet Mercy and Murder use to keep the “bad girls” in line. Apparently, 5 Seconds of Summer didn’t teach them that good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught. They also a testing ground for Hiram and his fizzle rocks. There was also some character building side plots but for the sake of time, I’ll skip over it. That’s even harder to explain. Caught up? Probably not but it will do. Let’s get into the tea

How stupid can the main four be?

Betty, Veronica, Archie, and Jughead having just been acting like total dumbasses this season. Archie is just too trusting of a person. Like he’s just a set of abs and lacks little common sense. He just lets everyone in on his life and plans when he is on the run. Did his parent teach him not to talk to strangers? Probably not, his parents are Molly Ringwald and Luke Perry. They were teen royalty back in the day.

I volunteer to hose down Archiekins

Veronica is trying to take down and be two steps of her daddykins but yet she keeps telling her parents all about her info she finds out. Like what’s the point of even trying if you are just going to spill the beans. Loose lips sink ships, Ronnie! Then she hasn’t caught on that Reggie wants in her skirt. She’s a single gal now. I fully support and ship Veggie. I’m still hoping for Kerchie to happen. Finger crossed. 

Betty and Jughead just need to stop having sex in the dead kid’s bunker. I would ask them if they could have sex in any other place besides there but Lili Reinhart answered that for me on twitter. They are smart of half of the main four but like c’mon guys. You are making me want to be Team Daddykins. In fact, both couples are rabbits. They are having sex like left and right. Do you guys not have anything else do to? As Lili said in her tweet to me “The answer is no.” They all need a good hose down. 

Don’t mess with Hiram Lodge

Nothing is out of his control. NOTHING. 

After how dumb everyone that isn’t Josie, Kevin, Cheryl, and Toni is, I’ve joined Team Daddykins. Besides the fact that Hiram leaves you slightly turned on and pissed on, he has this entire town under this finger. His wife is the mayor and he has his hands in all the pots. In one episode where it was three separate stories, he was involved in EVERY SINGLE ONE. While it’s all shade business dealings, he has plans and a bunch of backup plans. You can’t make him nervous. Unless you happen to be a ripped red-head sticking it to his daughter every five minutes. He’s either very jealous or just wants Archie for himself. That’s a plot twist for you. But I’m fully supporting him just so he knocks some sense and brains into the main four. Team Daddykins for life!

Riverdale: The Purge

ICONIC QUEEN

The midseason finale ended with Veronica’s mother having the city of Riverdale locked down because Hiram has the governor of whatever state they are in working for him as well. So it’s like the purge. No one can enter and no one can leave. We also know that Cheryl is preparing for war. When the iconic queen, who has gotten the shaft so far, is going war. WE ALL GO TO WAR. Cheryl and her bow are all Riverdale need to save the town.

It looks like the rest of the season is going to be a real barn burner. I just wish that it made more sense but it’s “Riverdale.” Does “Riverdale” ever make sense? I hope you enjoyed the first episode of Sweetwater Tea. It returns when “Riverdale” comes back on January 16th. Until then, I recommend rewatching because you’ll need it. It’s been a confusing season. 

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