Sweetwater Tea Episode 4: No Exit

Listen up fives, a ten is speaking and I’m in the mood for some chaos. Sorry to interrupt, sad breakfast club. No one is leaving and they are certainly are entering the town with pep. Can you really blame them? I wouldn’t want to leave the town with Hiram Lodge in it. Don’t worry your little heads, Riverdale. I’m still here to give you a hot cup of tea that you deserve. It’s not as contiguous like the lies plaguing the town. Welcome to Sweetwater Tea.

Don’t worry B. It will all be over soon…at least you hope

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It’s a mad mad world

It’s been five long weeks since Daddykins closed the gates into Riverdale. Archiekins is off being a hot metrosexual lumberjack. I wonder if Kevin Keller gave him some tips on surviving the woods. After all, he’s an expert on it. As dem abs settle into his life in the woods, someone decides to commit a felony by injuring 2018 hottest redhaired male. Who would do such a heinous act? It’s not like there’s a bounty on A’s head. With Ronniekins not there to nurse his wounds, poor A began to see dead people. Either I’ll have what he’s having or something bad is coming towards that Archie. Word of the river is that by the time someone got to poor Archiekins, it might have been a little too late. Could Hiram have finally stuck it to A or is he just a casualty of war? But hey, it could have been just a bear…I heard from Kevin Kevin there’s a lot of them in the woods.

The lies Daddykins tells me

Grab your armor, there’s a civil war going on. Veronica Cecilia Lodge has decided to go to war with her father. Daughter like Father, right? You think that Hiram would be proud that V is just a little version of him. But all is fair in love and war. And it’s war when you have something that the DILF wants. And the DILF wants part of Veronica’s money. He plans on getting by any mean necessary. For someone who swears he’s not the Gargoyle King, having a gang of Gargoyles attack Ronniekins’ shipments doesn’t help that cause.

But how does one fight Gargoyles? With serpents, of course. V used her connections with the serpent king to signed them up for the standard Lodge employment plan: cheap labor and protection. Too bad Hiram’s gang wasn’t the thing that Ronnie needs protections for. V was spotted kissing Reggie “douchey abs” Mantle in her place of business. I don’t know what kind of business she is running but sign me up. What would Archie think about Veggie becoming a thing? Oh, wait…

Choni and the Pussycats

The Pussycats are back in town and they have a taste for petty thef, women, and the finer things in life. Too bad they aren’t the ones that sang and swayed behind Josie Mccoy. Cheryl Bombshell and Toni might have long tails and ears for hats but they are teaming up for a little destruction. Besides stealing kisses and jewelry, Cheryl also looks like she is after more. The HBIC is back and she’s looking for her crown. Too bad that she was quickly put in her place by the Serpent King. Does Jughead not realize that hell hath no fury like a Blossoms scorn?

The Betty Cooper Foundation for the Children of the Gargoyle

Like taking in a box of homeless kittens, our little dynamo Betty Cooper has taken in the children she freed from Our Lady of Quiet Mercy and Murder. In between hot love sessions with Jughead and trying to take down Daddykins with jailed nuns, B seems to have bitten off more than she could chew. Even Riverdale’s resident MILF, Alice Cooper, believes so. Turns out, the farm takes in all the strays. If anyone can help the children of the gargoyle kick their cult-like addiction to role-playing games and drugs, it’s another cult that throws babies in a fire pit while on drugs.

Guess B lose their support once they realize that the only thing she’s the queen of is being shady. And just when you think B’s day can’t get any worst, the sisters of Our Lady of Quiet Mercy and Murder decided it was time to meet their maker and take a vow of silence for eternity. If I was B, I would head down the river for some magically inspirational. Or maybe a trip to the sex bunker with J will help her get inspired. Or is that where she’s just keeping her secrets for now?

Buckle up, bitches…

Seems like the only thing that Riverdale needs to be quarantined from is all the lies. As Hiram’s plan falls in place, what will the town with pep do once they realize that the abs of Riverdale are in danger? Or will it all just be a drug-induced dream? Only time will tell. Go into your sex bunker kiddos, a nuclear bomb is about to go off in Riverdale.

If you breathe it’s because I give you air….

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Hey Riverdale, I want to play a game…

Listen up bitches, this just got a little bit interesting. When we last left the town with pep, all hell has broken loose thanks in part to the 2018 DILF of the year Hiram Lodge. Hiram is the only one pulling the strings anymore. I want to play a game.

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Here’s the game and it’s a pretty easy one to follow. This game isn’t like that horrid game going around town right now. It’s just an easy game of bingo. Any time an event happens, just mark off one of the spaces. Easy enough, right? I’ll even give you the square about visiting Pop’s right off the bat. It’s not a trip to Riverdale without getting a burger from Pop’s right? Here’s the board and the time is now. Let’s turn the chaos into a fun time.

Now don’t you fret, this won’t be the last you hear from me today. Did you think you could have a party without Me? I’m always around when you least expect it. Remember, if you breathe it’s because I give you air.

Netflix’s ‘You’ is the thriller you need to watch

I decided to watch “You” on Netflix because I let society determine my viewing habits and what shows are cool and what shows are not. It actually took me like a couple of days to finish all ten episodes “You.” I paced myself in the beginning because it was a lot to handle. So let’s dive into the show that has everyone freaking out.

I always feel like somebody’s watching me 

“You” was originally a series on Lifetime that premiered in 2018. It starred Penn Badgley (“Gossip Girl”) and Elizabeth Lail (“Once Upton A Time”) as the two main characters of the series. The series was developed by Greg Berlanti. That’s right. The guy that has given us “Riverdale” made this show. When I found this out, immediately got excited because 90% of the shows I watch he touches. He also directed “Love, Simon.” The show is based off of the novel “You,” written by Caroline Kepnes.

The show follows Joe Goldman (Badgley) as he falls in love with Guinevere Beck (Lail) after meeting her in his book store. This is a modern love story as Joe checks her out on social media. He then takes it to a whole other level by legitimately stalking her. Like full fledge creeping out your window stalking. The series then follows Joe and Guinevere’s love story from start to finish.

From the very start, you can tell that it is/was a Lifetime show. Lifetime shows have a certain feel and look to them. “You” has that look and feel. It’s not a bad thing because it’s actually a much better show than what is usually on Lifetime. It took a while for the show to really get into the story but when it did, it kept you in engaged in it.

For me, it was just creepy and didn’t really have me jumping or anything like that. Joe was extremely creepy and made me question people around me. Like who is being like Joe and just stalking me and watching my social media? I did have someone who followed me on twitter and I was the only one he was following. He was always replying back to my tweets, It got a bit creepy and I blocked him. This kind of brought back in my mind. Joe followed her in real life and on social media. It kind of made me question everything that I share on there. It’s probably a good thing that I don’t post a lot of pictures.

The acting on this show is way better than what is typically on a Lifetime show. Badgley was honestly the best part of the series. The dude doesn’t get enough props for his acting chops. The way he portrayed the character makes you question your feelings. There are times where you hate him and want him to go away. Other times you feel for him because there’s something that happened to cause him to be that way. He needs to get some sort of award for his portrayal.

Verdict

I do recommend “You” as it’s something everyone should watch. It’s a show that makes you think and question everything that you do when it comes to social media, especially when it comes to dating. It keeps you interested and it’s just a wild ride. The show has been renewed for a second season as a Netflix original show. I’m excited to see what Netflix does with it.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

Sweetwater Tea Episode 3: Across the river ​​to Greendale ​​we go!

Listen up fives, a ten is speaking and I’m in the mood for some chaos. Sorry to interrupt, sad breakfast club. Riverdale isn’t the only town around Sweetwater River that is hustling and bustling with drama these days. There’s been plenty to go around in the town of Greendale. Some may even say that the drama in Greendale would belong in another realm. Welcome to Sweetwater Tea.

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There’s something magical in the air

While some may forget that Riverdale’s own Cheryl Blossom once healed a certifiable DILF with her last kiss ever to man, Greendale has people that are both magical and sassy just like the simply iconic Cheryl Bombshell. Your friendly neighborhood witches live in the town. They are just a little less friendly and a little sassier. That’s right citizens of Greendale, it’s just not the plants that are green. If you ever wanted to meet them, just head down to the local mortuary. I hear that Sabrina Spellman and the whole Spellman clan have that “magically touch” with the customers that walk in. They have a special connection to the dead.

Word around the coven is that Sabrina’s 16th birthday party was something that will always be remembered. Did you really think you could have a party without inviting moi? Maybe that why the party ended in a mob or it could have been the fact that Sabrina turned down her date with the devil? I guess that Sabrina was never taught the golden rule: better the devil you know.

Love was in the air but now it’s down the toliet

Oh, Harvey. It won’t be for long.

Unless you are new in town, then you aware of the front-runners for cutest couple award in the Baxter High. And no, I’m not talking about the vice principal that is cheating on his wife with a head cheerleader named Libby. Sabrina and Harvey Kinkle seem to be attracted to each other like a magnet. It’s like our little Sabrina has a spell placed on Harvey. But Harvey isn’t the only member of the Kinkle clan that is under Sabrina’s spell. No one hasn’t seen or heard from Harvey’s hunky older brother ever since he survived the coal mine explosion. It’s like he magically disappeared. Maybe that’s why the other kinkle sent Sabrina flying off on her broomstick alone.

But don’t you worry your little head. Sabrina seemed to bounce rather quickly. She was seen hanging around her new school with a new man. Nicholas Scratch to be exact. Whether it was just a private tutoring session or Nicholas just want to make some magic with her, it was getting hot and heavy. But before you go thinking of ship names, I’m fond of Sabrichols or Nibrina, it seemed to not go very far. Sabrina turned down the chance to participate in an orgy with young Nicholas and a few other attractive people. Apparently, three or more is a crowd for Sabrina. Or it could have been that her cousin was in there with his boo. Loosen up, Sabrina. You never want to pass up on orgy with the one you love. Especially when they look like Nicholas Scratch.

Everyone’s favorite teacher got a new look

Was I the only one that noticed the sudden change in Mary Wardwell appearance at school? It’s like she magically got a facelift overnight. One would say that she sold her soul to Satan just to look young and hot. She went from frump school teacher to a MILF. She’s so MILF-tastic that even the local pizza boy wasn’t seen after one delivery with her. Was she that good in bed or did her newest pet project Sabrina help her with something magical? Either way, there’s something dark and magically about Mary Wardwell. It’s turning all the men in Greendale on.

Didn’t think that so much tea could be spilled in the little town that Hiram Lodge doesn’t even notice? Maybe Daddykins should sell his soul and abs to Satan. Maybe then he can finally not to worry about another set of abs with red hair. If Daddykins needs any more help, he can certainly hit me up. I’ll happily distract dem abs so everyone favorites DILF can plot and scheme. I hear plotting and scheme turns the Mayor of Riverdale on. Maybe that’s how a lowly business owner in Fred Andrews was able to get in her pants more than once. So until next time, if you breathe it’s because I give you air.

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