Why Oprah Winfrey should run for President?

Lock the door. Lower the blinds.

If you have lived under rock for the past couple of days, everyone has talked about Oprah Winfrey and her running for president. Besides that I covered that last year, It’s been getting people talking about whether she should run for president. Let’s have a moment for the fact that I broke the first before all the news outlets. Anderson Cooper, eat your hear out.

For those that aren’t sure what the fuck they are in for, a kiki is a party for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve. So let’s talk about how people don’t think Oprah Winfrey should run for President. All of this is coming from people who voted for Donald J. Trump. I’ll let that sink.

After her amazing speech at the 2018 Golden Globes, she had people moved by it. It was just an extremely good speech. Because how elegantly she spoke, people want her to run for president. There was a whole Twitter conversations about it and pretty much the internet agreed that she should run in 2020. But then there was the other side of it. The side that said Oprah shouldn’t run and that she wasn’t qualified because she was a celebrity.

To the people who said that Oprah isn’t qualified, I say this: Donald Trump is our President and you cannot tell me he was actually qualified. Donald Trump and Oprah are both celebrities so your argument is invalid. If the Donald Trump getting elected into office taught us anything is that no one really cares if you are qualified. They just care about them and if you can get them what they want. Like stop caring about the environment because who the fuck need that when you are paying in taxes. You cannot afford to enjoy the environment since your broke.

Everyone knew that Trump getting elected would start a trend of celebrities getting interested in running. It’s actually their right to run for office, just like it’s your right to do the same. I know I just shocked you with that bit of knowledge there. I say if they want to run for President, let them! They honestly can’t be as bad. Besides, we still have to vote for them. We have the last say on who will represent the parties and who is going to run it.

You at least owe her a chance to run. You could like her position on things. Personally, I would prefer my President to have a political experience. I wouldn’t go get a major surgery from someone who said they could do. I watch a lot of “Grey’s Anatomy” but I’m not going around opening up chest and repairing organs. Why would you want the same for the person running the country? But if we aren’t going to go with experience but rather who we think will do a good job and who will match up with your beliefs. Doesn’t this sound like why you voted for Trump?

If Oprah is running against Trump, don’t vote for her if you don’t like her. Just like most of America didn’t vote for Trump. Just don’t say she’s not qualified because she’s a celebrity. She’s more qualified than Trump. ANYONE is more qualified than him.

This kiki was…..

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Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more sass. 

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Let’s Have a Kiki: Tinder is the worst

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Lock the door. Lower the blinds.

It’s time that we have what is hopefully one final kiki of the year. The keyword is hopefully because I get triggered easily by stupidity or just dumb things in general. So Lock the doors, lower the blinds, fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels because it’s going to get real up in this mother. I know, exactly what you need today:

For those that aren’t sure what the fuck they are in for, a kiki is a party for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve. On this edition, we are going to have a nice little chat about why Tinder is just the worst.

So real talk: Can we just talk about how Tinder is just the worst? It either full of strange people or just a bunch of stuck up people. Like, I get that you are going off first impressions of pictures but this app is 50 shades of fucked up shit. First things first, not everyone’s experience with Tinder is going to be the same. I’m going to shitting on it but it’s going be generalizing it. Just take this as something to consider if you haven’t signed up yet. Spoiler: save yourself the trouble and don’t do unless you want a good life.

So there are two kinds of people you will find on Tinder: flaky people or fucked up people looking to get off. Let’s start with the flaky people. So there are people who you will match with that won’t respond back to you when you message them. That totally defeats the purpose of you swiping right. If you swipe right, then you want to chat with someone because you like what they saw or read. So what was the point of swiping right if you aren’t going to reply back? If it was a mistake then just say so because I won’t be angry. I’m more angry at you being a full of dicks and just not responding AT ALL. And yes, I understand that this occurs on every app/site like this but it still doesn’t make this right. Take the five minutes to at least try to have a conversation, especially in your bio if you say you like people who can hold a goddamn conversation.

Then you have fucked up people. Like a profile for Santa appeared and I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t an advertisement. Santa was also posing seductively in front of a fireplace. Don’t ask me why I remember all of this so vividly. It might be because it’s FUCKING BURNED INTO MY MIND because I cannot unsee it. And if you thought this was bad, this was just the icing on the Tinder cake. There are people wearing harnesses and muzzles as well as just endless supplies of torsos. It gets better from there. The bios for the profile also scream hot mess. Like, at least make some sort of effort to look to not fucked up. You catch more bees with honey than vinegar and you’ll find more people by looking less fucked up. You want to ease them into the bondage and not just throw it in their face within the first minute that you want them to tie you up and make you their bitch. Also, unless you don’t have a head, which I highly doubt, let’s also ease into the showing of the torso.

Moral of this kiki: If you are going to use Tinder, good luck. It’s a fucked up in Tinder. People are being rude as fuck or just wanting you to tie them up and gage them.

This kiki was…..

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Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more sass. 

Let’s Have a Kiki: Giving thanks for Retail workers

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Lock the door. Lower the blinds.

It’s been awhile since we had a good old fashion kiki. Lock the doors, lower the blinds,
fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels because it’s going to real up in this mother. I know, exactly what you need today:

For those that aren’t sure what the fuck they are in for, a kiki is a party for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve. On this edition, we are going to have a nice little chat about today’s holiday: Thanksgiving aka Black Friday.

So today is a day for spending it with your family and friends but yet there are people who are unable to spend it with them because your greed ass wants some great savings on some deals. That’s right, I’m going to go “there” because the people who work in retail are the unsung heroes of the whole holiday weekend. While you are enjoying the meal you prepared, they will be working to make sure you can get your last-minute shit and are able to come in at whatever time on Thanksgiving to shop until you drop.

Do you really think they want to be there? Probably not. Do you really think they want to hear you say “So sorry that you have to work on Thanksgiving” as you ask them for help or check out? That’s like pouring salt into the wound. They wouldn’t be there if you were spending your money there. It’s honestly just better to not say “sorry” but just say “have a wonderful Thanksgiving.” Because if it wasn’t for people like you shopping there on Thanksgiving, then they wouldn’t have to be there on Thanksgiving. Also, if you are there before any sale, don’t bitch and moan about the lines. Actually, don’t bitch and moan about the lines in general because frankly, most places have some sort of self-checkout you are able to use. It’s your own damn fault if you are in that big of a hurry and don’t want to utilize them. It’s not hard to use. Hell, most places have people there to assist you.

Another thing to keep in mind is the fact they have no control over what’s in stock, especially on today. So if they are out of cranberry sauce, you’re not getting any cranberry sauce. They also can’t help if they are out of something in the sale. Everyone knows what to expect on Black Friday. Have a plan B if the item you want in the sale is out. Also, if you aren’t willing to wait in line for the item, then you really didn’t want it. Expect to wait in some kind of line for something you really want. If you don’t want to and just hope there some left over, then you are pretty much saying “I really don’t want it.”

The moral of this kiki is to just be respectful, kind and nice to the people in retail. They are there to help you spent your money. Don’t take your anger or frustration out of them because you didn’t get your item or they have to follow a policy that doesn’t work to your favorite. They are just doing their job and not ruin your day/Christmas because they are assholes. They are assholes, it’s one of the number one requirements to work in retail. But they aren’t assholes to customers, no matter how rude they are. So remember to give thanks for the retail workers you helping you this weekend before you cuss them out. Also, feel free to stand up for them if you see someone cussing them out or treating them like they are less than human. You will make their day because they just have to sit there and take it.

This kiki was…..

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Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more sass. 

Fox News thinks Wonder Woman is ‘Merican enough

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Someone call Donald Trump because we’ve got some FAKE NEWS for him and it’s from his Best Friends Forever. In world where we have a government investigation going on, I’m glad to see Fox News has their priorities in check. Lock the door, lower the blinds, and fire up that smoke machine because it’s going to get real up in this bitch.

Fox News was having a panel discussion on the show “Your World with Neil Cavuto” and the topic came up of some claiming that the new DC movie “Wonder Woman,” which is killing it btw, isn’t American enough. Neil and the panelist pretty much pulled apart the entire movie by saying how Wonder Woman is played by Israeli Gal Gadot, her costume is red, blue, and gold instead of red,white, and blue as portrayed in the classic “Wonder Woman” TV show that starred Lynda Carter in the late 1970s. Dion Baia even said that:

“I think, nowadays, sadly, money trumps patriotism. Especially, recently, I personally feel like we’re not really very patriotic, the country, in a certain sense. They want these movies to succeed internationally, so they’re going to dial back.”

Sigh. They even go on to say that DC and Warner Bros are dialing back Captain America in order to appeal for international audiences. Thanks for that spoiler for the next Captain America movie, Fox News. This whole entire conversation is why people shouldn’t talk about things they know shit about. You don’t see me making comments about global warming or mechanical engineering. So Fox News, it’s time for me to take you to school. While I respect your choice to make yourselves look like totally and complete bunch of dumbasses #FreeSpeech, let me break it down for you.

First off, Wonder Woman isn’t from America. She’s an Amazonian princess. Even if you saw a commercial for the film, you would have know that. It’s rather pointless to have Wonder Woman be patriotic for America when she didn’t live/was born in America. It’s like being patriotic for India when you weren’t born there nor currently live there. Besides, she is fucking helping America in the World War I. Hell, she is the reason why we won. Did you forget that part or did you just remove it because it didn’t support you claim? I’m going with the both because it’s very obvious that none of you did your research.

Second, Complaining about her costume is stupid. While I’m not a feminist, I’m going to play this card because frankly, I don’t think you would have brought up her costume if she was a male superhero. Whether Wonder Woman is wearing red,white, or blue or three other colors, it isn’t important. It’s about the story and the characters. Superheroes go through a lot of costume changes. The costume you are thinking off is one of the costumes that Wonder Woman has replaced with a new version. It make sense for them to not go use that costume because it’s not up to date. Also, Lynda Carter’s version of “Wonder Woman” isn’t even the same Wonder Woman that is portrayed in everything else. To hint towards that makes your points irrelevant.

Third, it’s fucking comic book/movie character. Get over it. No one is going to the movies and thinking “hmm, I’m not going to see ‘Wonder Woman’ because she’s not patriotic.” If they are, then they need to reevaluate their lives.  People are going to see the movie because they are a fan of DC Comics and the character. No one was really saying that Wonder Woman isn’t patriotic, that was just your attempt to continue to turn your fan base against Hollywood and have them drink up the “Hollywood is anti-American” bullshit that you serving up in order to keep Donald Trump happy.  Just admit it and don’t trying to push it as a hot topic that is keeping people that isn’t your own staff up at night. It would be better accepted if you said “We think that Wonder Woman isn’t patriotic” and then stated why. While it still probably would have been crap, it’s not “FAKE NEWS.” And don’t try to hide the fact that the majority of you are hardcore Trump supporters. It’s fine if you are, just don’t show it so much when you are reporting your alternative facts and whatnot.

Again, I respect Fox News’ right to be able to make comments like the ones they did. Just research it and actually come up with points that aren’t so thin that you can see right through them. You are a new source. Do the research. It’s not hard once you get your heads out of your asses. Also, there’s other important things to cover than Wonder Woman’s patriotism. Remove your lips from Donald Trump’s ass and actually cover the news.

 

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for sass.