Candy Crush ruins lives

candycrush

Are you in need of a new game to play on your phone while you are using the restroom? Are you looking for game that’s even more addicting than Angry Birds? Well we have a game for you! The game is called Candy Crush Saga, as you can tell by the banner that you see above this paragraph and with the link you clicked.

The game is like bejeweled but instead of having the players match items that represent greed, they have players match items that represent gluttony. In order to pass levels you must complete a series of obstacles like moving fruit down the board, getting rid of chocolate that reproduces faster than bunnies.

Be prepared to lose many hours to this game because you can play this game on Facebook (hence why it’s more addicting than Angry Birds). You can pretty much use your computer to play this game when you run out of lives on your mobile device. The game ruins lives because it just takes over your life…you start to look at candy in a different way after this.

 

Rating: 3 dentists out of 5 believe this game will give you cavities

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Mobile Game Review: Flappy Bird

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Flappy

So if you have lived under a rock for the past few weeks, there is a mobile game that is sweeping the world. On the outside, it looks like a mobile version of a Super Mario game. But it’s really the Regina George of mobile gaming. So evil takes game form in Flappy Bird.

This game has a very simple concept-¬†You tap the bird and try to make it in-between the green tunnels (hence where the Mario feel comes from. It doesn’t help that the bird looks like a fish from Mario as well). The only problem is that you have to clear the hole PERFECTLY. If you are too high or too short, then your life is over and you might as well just live in a box outside a 7-Eleven.

This game is kinda like attempting to lick your elbow. You know that you are unable to successfully do it but you just have to try because of the feeling of being able to say “hey, I licked my elbow” (which is a realistically stupid achievement and if that’s your life goal, you should really reconsider your life choices).

Now I downloaded this game and played for a good 5-10 minutes before I wanted to throw my phone. I managed to get a score of 3…okay, it was 2….before I realized that this game was a lost caused and I was better off donating my time to something more productive and less likely to cause me emotional and mental torture (hint: you’re reading it now).

Overall, this game is a game that teaches a valuable life lessons: You can only succeed in life if you are perfect, Angry Birds really isn’t that difficult, the only way to learn how to do things is by trial and error (with the error being death), and the most important one- Bird games are the invention of the devil.

I don’t recommend this game unless you want to make your friend’s life a living hell and have a good laugh as they flip out

Purchase it on Google Play

Purchase it on iTunes

Rating: 1.5 Flappy birds out of 5

What are your thoughts on this game? Let us know in the comments below!