It’s time to looking into the stars….not the stars in Hollywood but rather the ones in the sky that no one looks at in person. Welcome to the Pop Project Horoscopes.
So here’s how this is going to work, in case you have never dealt with astrology before, match the sign that fits your birthday. It’s a very simple concept. So let’s begin!
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): The waves are hitting the shore hard. Break through the hard waves this week and you will be fine. There also might be some high tide but if you just go with the flow then you will be fine.
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): If you are that dumbass fish that just goes to anything thing that is dangling their face, then you won’t be lasting this week. There will be a lot of shiny objects dangling in your face. Don’t go for because it will lead to your death…or just a crappy week.
Ares (Mar 21 – Apr 19): We get that you’re the “god of war,” stop stomping around thinking that you are the shit and throwing your weight around. It won’t end well for you in the long run because people will rebel. Try being nice this week for once. It will save you from getting stabbed with spears.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): Cut the bullshit and just keep calm and open-minded. Just because you are bull doesn’t mean you should act like one. Stop being bullheaded and want things to go one way or not at all. It won’t end well for you.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): If you don’t have a twin, your inner twin is strong with the dark side of the force. It will try to break free and kill you this week. If you have a twin, your twin is going to be jealous of you and the life you live. Don’t let that ruin your bond.
Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): Smile every once and awhile and actually looks like you are having a good time. Is it that hard to do? No one wants to hang out with someone who looks like their dog got kicked and ran over at the same time.
Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): Try not to rip people’s heads off today. It’s okay to roar sometimes but just keep it a low roar and only to those that deserve it. Roaring at everyone will only end in heartache.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22): Are you in a lockbox and sent down the river? If not, then you are having a good week.
Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22): Don’t be lonely. Either go out a make friends or make plans with your existing friends. If you don’t, you will only have yourself to blame.
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): You will have a good week. Stay Classy and make sure
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): Put the handcuffs away and just take a week away from the muzzle, the whips, and anything like that. This is your week to not be kinky and just take a break.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): At this point, you should know what a Capricorn is. Now you need to figure who the hell thought of naming something Capricorn was a good idea.
Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more awesome things.