Big Brother Canada Breakdown: Week 3

What is the water in the BBCAN house?

Welcome to another edition of the “Big Brother Canada” breakdown. It’s the weekly column where I break down the happenings in the BB house in the great white north. We are three weeks into the game it just keeps hitting the fan. Literally. If they were allowed to fans in the Big Brother house, many of these games would go through it. Also, Canadians would use them as weapons. It’s shady in the pettiest house in BB.

You know the drill by now. Here are my thoughts on the what happened this week. Keep in mind, I don’t watch the live feeds so I don’t have a fucking clue what happens besides the couple of things I read on the twitter.

Jesse literally threw his game away

my look this week at Jesse’s game, well lack of game

It was a little too late before Jesse realized that he wasn’t going to stay in this house. So Jesse was up against Olivia, who was the real target. Not sure why she’s the target but she has been for like weeks now. Anyways, he pretty much threw a temper tantrum and fucked up his own game. If he would have just laid low and played nice, there was a very good that he would have stayed over Olivia.

This is the part where people would be like: Pawns go home. To them I would say, you are absolutely right. But still probably wouldn’t have gone home as a pawn. He could have low-keyed still campaigned to still save his ass. But Hamza was on a warpath this week for no reason.

Can just one HOH not piss off the House?

Words to live by:“When you take a shot at the baddest bitch in this house, you better make sure you hit. When I shoot, I never miss my targets”-Ika Wong

I feel like the HOH this season, not including Johnny, has just pissed off the house. Like it’s not hard to do. Ryan’s HOH was just a hot mess because he was a jackass. Then Hamza was more concerned about creating chaos and paranoia to actually think about what would benefit his game. Yes, getting rid of Jesse eliminated a showmance but did that really help him? Before this, he was pretty much in good standing with the rest of the house. Now, he has a target on his back thanks to Jesse. Jesse threw Hamza and his whole alliance under the bus. It was a good try. At least, he got more shots in as he was heading out.

Like I said above, Hamza wasn’t playing start smart this week. He needs to stop trying to raise hell and actually play smart. You can take shots and when you need to. Everyone but Johnny hasn’t done that. They are all looking to make good fucking TV. That comes with playing an actual good game and not just what will get Canada to fall in love with you. Please just play smart and we will go farther than just trying to make big moves.

Can we get these houseguests a cold shower?

My reaction when I see who’s making out with who

It wouldn’t be “Big Brother” without a bunch of horny houseguests. This season is no different. Besides the three showmances going on in the house, they all got drunk and played truth or dare. In Canada, this involves a hot tub in the snow and a lot of tongues going into mouths. It was Veronica’s birthday so she made out with Will, who was apparently very bad. She also made out with Kaela and someone else. All this happened in front of Derek and Will.

I have to say that that horny houseguest is quality television. “Big Brother Canada” is full of horny houseguests. We have had men making out with each other, women making out with each other; Canadians are equal opportunity lovers. But in all seriousness, I’m glad that they have a bunch of condoms in the bathroom because if not…it would be bad. Also, do they not realize they are being recorded with all this hanky-panky going on? I just don’t think they care. I’m all for horny houseguest but please get them in a cold shower every once in a while.

Stop teasin’ us BBCAN

At the end of this week’s eviction show, they showed probably five minutes of HOH. Most of that was about three returning houseguests helping with what the houseguest have to remember. Either show the entire HOH or don’t show it at all. It’s a simple concept. I would rather have not seen the HOH competition at all. I could have waited until Monday to actually see who won.

While I understand that you are the pettiest one of all, BBCAN, please don’t tease us like this. I would rather have more drama.

Who’s gonna go far?

                Me when Arisa said the words:           DOUBLE EVICTION

I think that this will be the last week of this because frankly, I’m over it. It just one of those things where it’s up to change each week. But now, I like Erica and Johnny’s chances of making far in this game. They have both been playing a very low key game and an extremely good social game. Johnny has been quietly taking in everything and storing it in his head. Erica is just being herself and making friends her everything. Derek is going to be the pretty floater. He’s very good to look at but doesn’t know shit about the game. It was very unattractive that he didn’t know who the queen IKA WONG is.

Next week is going to be a double eviction week. It would be interesting to see who they decided to get rid off. It might be another showmance or it could be Hamza and Ryan. It’s going to be a twistedly twisted week next week…sorry, wrong Big Brother.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me every day!



Big Brother Canada Breakdown: Week 2

Some of these people are just too much

Another week in the house and boy, it’s starting to go down. There’s a new Head of Household and boy, did he fuck his game ruin his head of household reign. So let’s breakdown all that happened during week two of Big Brother Canada.

Here is my thoughts on what happened during the second week of Big Brother Canada. Like I said last week, this is without the live feeds because I’m unable to watch since no one has thought about airing Big Brother Canada in America yet and how much money it would make them. It’s probably because it would put Big Brother US to shame and Americans would want to do BBCAN instead…more so than they do now.

I just can’t anymore with Ryan

Ryan this week has been on my motherfucking nerves. For someone who says he has a high IQ in Big Brother, he was a total complete idiot with this HOH. Let’s just break down this dumbasses game. He put up two of his allies, Andrew and Hamza, because that’s what the house wanted. The goal was to backdoor Olivia. Ryan didn’t tell anyone about this plan, including the people that were playing in the veto. He told them why they shouldn’t win it and that backdoor plans didn’t work. Let that irony sink in.

Then after Erica won the veto, he fucking blamed Andrew and Hamza for not playing harder for the veto. Yep, what a toolbox full of dicks. I really want to go “Ryan, it’s your fault more so because you should have tried harder if you really want to do a backdoor plan by yourself.” He tried to pull off a backdoor plan by himself and then wondered why it didn’t work and now he has to get rid of a couple of allies. This is why I can’t with Ryan. This HOH was a waste for him because it did nothing for him. It probably made the target on him even bigger because while I’m unable to watch the feeds, twitter is telling me that he is pissing them all off. Being HOH went to his head. His BB demise will be quick and fast if he doesn’t get it together. He tried to be a puppet master but ended up looking an idiot.

House meeting has been called; Ryan’s game goes boom!

Me laughing at Ryan trying to cover his own ass

Just when I thought that Veronica was going to be boring. She was the only one that had the balls to call a house meeting to call out Ryan for stirring up the pot. Pretty much, He tried to keep Andrew in the game by spreading paranoia about Hamza. Ryan told them that they couldn’t trust Hamza and that they were all targets. Veronica called him out in front of everyone and asked how they are all targets. It’s then where he tried to back peddle but failed. He tried to say the house used him to get out one of his allies and they have just shunned him. Bitch, please. You can’t use yourself. I live for house meetings because they never end well. It’s pretty much a car crash. YOU CANNOT LOOK AWAY.

I’ll be shocked if Ryan can recover from this because frankly, he messed up his game. He messed up his game extremely badly. This game is the Titanic and its sink: FAST AND HARD. There’s no recovering from it.

Thoughts on who is currently winning the game

the irony in this are not lost on me

It’s going be easier for me to tell you who isn’t going to win the game. It’s definitely not Andrew, who was evicted, or Ryan. Hamza has a better social game even though he is still playing way too hard. Everyone now is playing a bit of a lighter game while still playing the game. Sure, we don’t know half of the people yet but they are all playing it low-key. Most of the other houseguest are horny and just looking to get some in a showmance. Yeah, that’s how much I’m going cover on that topic until something big happens.

I do like how they are starting to realize who to get out. They know that it’s not all fun and games.I also like how so far, there isn’t anyone just blindly following someone. Granted, Hamza is pretty much going with everyone else and not really playing how he truly wants to play. This isn’t a bad strategy but it’s not one that you would want to play when your life is on the line. Also, Hamza wanted to be on the block. Why would you want to be on the block?

I am in the mood for a bit of chaos in the house. I’m looking for some good old fashion BBCAN chaos. Drama, backstabbing, and tears. I have a feeling that this week is going shake up the game. I’m here for that shit.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me everyday