Big Brother Canada Breakdown: Week 3

What is the water in the BBCAN house?

Welcome to another edition of the “Big Brother Canada” breakdown. It’s the weekly column where I break down the happenings in the BB house in the great white north. We are three weeks into the game it just keeps hitting the fan. Literally. If they were allowed to fans in the Big Brother house, many of these games would go through it. Also, Canadians would use them as weapons. It’s shady in the pettiest house in BB.

You know the drill by now. Here are my thoughts on the what happened this week. Keep in mind, I don’t watch the live feeds so I don’t have a fucking clue what happens besides the couple of things I read on the twitter.

Jesse literally threw his game away

my look this week at Jesse’s game, well lack of game

It was a little too late before Jesse realized that he wasn’t going to stay in this house. So Jesse was up against Olivia, who was the real target. Not sure why she’s the target but she has been for like weeks now. Anyways, he pretty much threw a temper tantrum and fucked up his own game. If he would have just laid low and played nice, there was a very good that he would have stayed over Olivia.

This is the part where people would be like: Pawns go home. To them I would say, you are absolutely right. But still probably wouldn’t have gone home as a pawn. He could have low-keyed still campaigned to still save his ass. But Hamza was on a warpath this week for no reason.

Can just one HOH not piss off the House?

Words to live by:“When you take a shot at the baddest bitch in this house, you better make sure you hit. When I shoot, I never miss my targets”-Ika Wong

I feel like the HOH this season, not including Johnny, has just pissed off the house. Like it’s not hard to do. Ryan’s HOH was just a hot mess because he was a jackass. Then Hamza was more concerned about creating chaos and paranoia to actually think about what would benefit his game. Yes, getting rid of Jesse eliminated a showmance but did that really help him? Before this, he was pretty much in good standing with the rest of the house. Now, he has a target on his back thanks to Jesse. Jesse threw Hamza and his whole alliance under the bus. It was a good try. At least, he got more shots in as he was heading out.

Like I said above, Hamza wasn’t playing start smart this week. He needs to stop trying to raise hell and actually play smart. You can take shots and when you need to. Everyone but Johnny hasn’t done that. They are all looking to make good fucking TV. That comes with playing an actual good game and not just what will get Canada to fall in love with you. Please just play smart and we will go farther than just trying to make big moves.

Can we get these houseguests a cold shower?

My reaction when I see who’s making out with who

It wouldn’t be “Big Brother” without a bunch of horny houseguests. This season is no different. Besides the three showmances going on in the house, they all got drunk and played truth or dare. In Canada, this involves a hot tub in the snow and a lot of tongues going into mouths. It was Veronica’s birthday so she made out with Will, who was apparently very bad. She also made out with Kaela and someone else. All this happened in front of Derek and Will.

I have to say that that horny houseguest is quality television. “Big Brother Canada” is full of horny houseguests. We have had men making out with each other, women making out with each other; Canadians are equal opportunity lovers. But in all seriousness, I’m glad that they have a bunch of condoms in the bathroom because if not…it would be bad. Also, do they not realize they are being recorded with all this hanky-panky going on? I just don’t think they care. I’m all for horny houseguest but please get them in a cold shower every once in a while.

Stop teasin’ us BBCAN

At the end of this week’s eviction show, they showed probably five minutes of HOH. Most of that was about three returning houseguests helping with what the houseguest have to remember. Either show the entire HOH or don’t show it at all. It’s a simple concept. I would rather have not seen the HOH competition at all. I could have waited until Monday to actually see who won.

While I understand that you are the pettiest one of all, BBCAN, please don’t tease us like this. I would rather have more drama.

Who’s gonna go far?

                Me when Arisa said the words:           DOUBLE EVICTION

I think that this will be the last week of this because frankly, I’m over it. It just one of those things where it’s up to change each week. But now, I like Erica and Johnny’s chances of making far in this game. They have both been playing a very low key game and an extremely good social game. Johnny has been quietly taking in everything and storing it in his head. Erica is just being herself and making friends her everything. Derek is going to be the pretty floater. He’s very good to look at but doesn’t know shit about the game. It was very unattractive that he didn’t know who the queen IKA WONG is.

Next week is going to be a double eviction week. It would be interesting to see who they decided to get rid off. It might be another showmance or it could be Hamza and Ryan. It’s going to be a twistedly twisted week next week…sorry, wrong Big Brother.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me every day!



Big Brother Canada Breakdown: Week 2

Some of these people are just too much

Another week in the house and boy, it’s starting to go down. There’s a new Head of Household and boy, did he fuck his game ruin his head of household reign. So let’s breakdown all that happened during week two of Big Brother Canada.

Here is my thoughts on what happened during the second week of Big Brother Canada. Like I said last week, this is without the live feeds because I’m unable to watch since no one has thought about airing Big Brother Canada in America yet and how much money it would make them. It’s probably because it would put Big Brother US to shame and Americans would want to do BBCAN instead…more so than they do now.

I just can’t anymore with Ryan

Ryan this week has been on my motherfucking nerves. For someone who says he has a high IQ in Big Brother, he was a total complete idiot with this HOH. Let’s just break down this dumbasses game. He put up two of his allies, Andrew and Hamza, because that’s what the house wanted. The goal was to backdoor Olivia. Ryan didn’t tell anyone about this plan, including the people that were playing in the veto. He told them why they shouldn’t win it and that backdoor plans didn’t work. Let that irony sink in.

Then after Erica won the veto, he fucking blamed Andrew and Hamza for not playing harder for the veto. Yep, what a toolbox full of dicks. I really want to go “Ryan, it’s your fault more so because you should have tried harder if you really want to do a backdoor plan by yourself.” He tried to pull off a backdoor plan by himself and then wondered why it didn’t work and now he has to get rid of a couple of allies. This is why I can’t with Ryan. This HOH was a waste for him because it did nothing for him. It probably made the target on him even bigger because while I’m unable to watch the feeds, twitter is telling me that he is pissing them all off. Being HOH went to his head. His BB demise will be quick and fast if he doesn’t get it together. He tried to be a puppet master but ended up looking an idiot.

House meeting has been called; Ryan’s game goes boom!

Me laughing at Ryan trying to cover his own ass

Just when I thought that Veronica was going to be boring. She was the only one that had the balls to call a house meeting to call out Ryan for stirring up the pot. Pretty much, He tried to keep Andrew in the game by spreading paranoia about Hamza. Ryan told them that they couldn’t trust Hamza and that they were all targets. Veronica called him out in front of everyone and asked how they are all targets. It’s then where he tried to back peddle but failed. He tried to say the house used him to get out one of his allies and they have just shunned him. Bitch, please. You can’t use yourself. I live for house meetings because they never end well. It’s pretty much a car crash. YOU CANNOT LOOK AWAY.

I’ll be shocked if Ryan can recover from this because frankly, he messed up his game. He messed up his game extremely badly. This game is the Titanic and its sink: FAST AND HARD. There’s no recovering from it.

Thoughts on who is currently winning the game

the irony in this are not lost on me

It’s going be easier for me to tell you who isn’t going to win the game. It’s definitely not Andrew, who was evicted, or Ryan. Hamza has a better social game even though he is still playing way too hard. Everyone now is playing a bit of a lighter game while still playing the game. Sure, we don’t know half of the people yet but they are all playing it low-key. Most of the other houseguest are horny and just looking to get some in a showmance. Yeah, that’s how much I’m going cover on that topic until something big happens.

I do like how they are starting to realize who to get out. They know that it’s not all fun and games.I also like how so far, there isn’t anyone just blindly following someone. Granted, Hamza is pretty much going with everyone else and not really playing how he truly wants to play. This isn’t a bad strategy but it’s not one that you would want to play when your life is on the line. Also, Hamza wanted to be on the block. Why would you want to be on the block?

I am in the mood for a bit of chaos in the house. I’m looking for some good old fashion BBCAN chaos. Drama, backstabbing, and tears. I have a feeling that this week is going shake up the game. I’m here for that shit.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me everyday

Big Brother Canada Breakdown: Week One

You can and you will

It’s time for everyone’s favourite North American season of “Big Brother.” If you have never seen an episode of Big Brother Canada, then you are truly missing out. Big Brother Canada is everything. It’s what we all want Big Brother USA to be. But this is the same BB Breakdown you know, just with a Canadian touch. Welcome to the Big Brother Canada Breakdown.

This is everyone doing our happy dance

Unlike Big Brother USA, I’m not watching the feeds. Mainly because I live in America. But I just don’t have time to sit down and watch them. At least with the BBUS feeds, I can have it on the background through the CBS All-Access. All of this is just going to be based off of the TV and little knowledge of what’s happening besides what’s shown with my homegirl Arisa Cox. Also, this will be shorter because it’s only been two episodes and they weren’t the most telling of how it all went down. Let’s begin!

Can we have a moment to discuss the house?

This house is simply amazing. Every year they seem to out do the one before it. Last year was a space theme, and this year is heaven and hell. I was shook from the house tour video. Every room in this house is just gorgeous. The production value has been taken up a level. Like they have fucking wings on the door. The have-nots have to sleep in a crypt with a door that has faces screaming on it. Why can we have things like this in America?

Then the opening for the first episode was everything I have ever wanted. It was epic. I was living for it all of it. Arisa’s entrance was everything. Have I mentioned that I was shook?

Can we have another moment to discuss the houseguests?

This gif sums up my thoughs so far

I didn’t look at the cast before the season start besides at pictures because I wanted to see how would be eye candy. Overall, this cast seems like it will be a good one. I thought the same of BB19 cast and well…you know how that happened. But this is extremely diverse cast and I’m honestly here for it. It’s about time we got some diversity. There’s a nice mix of every type of person.

I hope that the man candy isn’t just eye candy but rather have something to offer to the BBCAN table. The girls all seem like a good group as well. They have a tough shoe to fill as the BBCAN5 cast was pretty much everything. Don’t get me started on BBCAN5. It was pretty much the best season I’ve seen for while. It ranks up there with BB6 as my favourite. 

Rozina was the first to be evicted and I really want to know what the hell their reasoning was? It honestly really doesn’t make any sense because she was up against Alejandra, who was more of a threat. I hope they say why on the next episode. Also, two more houseguests entered the house. I don’t know enough about them to make a comment. It will be coming though.

Who has it in them to win?

Honestly, it’s too soon to tell. They all seem like they want to play. Hamza is just playing too hard and it’s only been one week.  I don’t see him going to far in this game because of how he is doing. Johnny isn’t going to last long after this week either. He didn’t need to win the veto this week. He didn’t need to pull the strings he did. He really didn’t need to get this hands as dirty as he did. It will be miracle if they someone doesn’t see the game that they are playing.

Also, I’m over Ryan and I hope he goes home very very soon. He pissed me off with his overly cocky comments about being in the top ten of BBCAN superfans. I don’t need you to be that motherfucking cocky. Honestly, that’s all the people I remember that did something. It was only two episodes that were rushed through.

Big Brother Canada airs on Mondays at 9 PM, Wednesdays at 7 PM, and Thursdays at 8 PM on Global if you are in Canada. If you live in America, look on Twitter for ways to watch. I would share on here but I don’t want to go to jail.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me everyday bro.

Top 5ive: Big Brother seasons you need to watch


While we are the midst a summer of temptations with Big Brother 19, there's a lot of down time if you are following the live feeds. So I say, don't use that opportunity let your family know you're still alive and grace them with your presences. Re-watch past Big Brother seasons!

Re-watching past seasons is such an easy thing to do, especially if you have CBS All Access (I'm going to assume you do if you are watching the Live feeds). It lets you see how the game evolved and also helps you keep up on all of the references. Here's a list of seasons that I recommend watching if you don't want to go season by season.

5. Big Brother 2


It's the first season with the format that we know and love. The first season followed the international version of the game, which is actually rather boring to point. While I do recommend watching the first couple of episodes of the first season just to see what it was, Big Brother 2 is just too good. It gave us Dr. Will Kirby, who would go on to become one of the best players in the history of the game, as well as ChillTown, one of the greatest alliances in Big Brother North American history. It's a really great to see how far we came since then.

4. Big Brother 10


After the disaster that was Big Brother 9, Big Brother 10 was a back to basic season that returned to strangers entering the house and having little to minimal twist. This season was all up the houseguest being entertaining and boy, they were. You know you are going to have a great season when you hear an 71-year-old man compare a 24-year-old man to Judas, which is still an iconic line that will live on. This season introduced use to Big Brother Legends Dan Gheesling, who won this season, and Jesse Godderz, who we've seen more time during the last couple of season of Big Brother than anyone would want to see. Anyways, this season is just a great season from a cast perspective.

3. Big Brother 8


This season is only notable for the winner and the runner-up: Evel Dick and Daniele Donato. They started the game not knowing they would end up playing together and having big targets on their back, to literally making it to the end. The father and daughter  team was estranged before entering the house and the game brought them together. Evel Dick was literally the most entertaining person in the house that season. He terrorized the houseguest and then Daniele would go smooth things over with them. At one point, Dick and Daniele was on the block. Dick won the veto and used on Daniele and got the alliance to turn on the their pawn. I miss those days.sigh.

2. Big Brother 7 aka Big Brother All-Stars


It was the best of the best competing from the first six seasons of the show. It was great and amazing. It will probably be the only all-star season we get but it will go down infamy. It gave many of our favorite players to come back into the game and try their hand at it again. It was great season with a lot of strategy and backstabbing. It also was the first to feature Big Brother Slop. Before this, they would force the houseguest to eat Peanut Butter and Jelly.

1. Big Brother 6


The single best season in the history of Big Brother USA. Hands down. It was the most entertaining and chaotic. It has the longest competition in North American Big Brother history. It also spawned iconic lines and moments as well as legends. It was kind of reboot of the game as it was a brand new house. It also gave us the iconic theme song that we hear every week, or everyday on the live feeds. Big Brother 6 was a house divided with bitter tensions and fierce competition that  made for good television and live feeds. I cannot tell you how good this season was.

Honorable Mention: Big Brother: Over the Top


The first internet season of Big Brother in the world, it's something you just need to check out. It's only 10 episodes long and features a lot of drama, twists, and Julie Chen saying Shit. Just hearing Julie Chen say shit is reason enough to watch the season. While It was way more entertaining live, mainly because you literally saw everything, it's still a great season that kept everything interesting and divided people just as much as the presidential election that happened at the same time.

Honorable Mention: Big Brother 14


This season is only on this list because for two reasons: Dan Gheesling and Wil Heuser. Wil didn't make it far on the show but he has been giving amazing parodies of the every Big Brother USA season since which have been way better than the actual season. During his time on the show, his Diary Room sessions were hilarious and he was just an entertaining houseguest. You need to also watch for Dan Gheesling and the amazing game he played. He already won the game but then re-entered to coach a team of new houseguest. It wasn't until a few weeks into the game that we re-entered the game as a houseguest. He played a flawless game and really should have won the game for a second time. The only reason he didn't win was for the fact that the jury was bitter because he literally screwed them all out of the house.

Honorable Mention: Big Brother Canada


Our neighbors to the north have their own version of Big Brother and it's literally better than the last few years of Big Brother USA. It's the same format that we know and love but done it way that makes it fresh and just better. There's plenty of ways you can watch past seasons if you don't live in Canada online. If you are going to watch Big Brother Canada, then I recommend all of them with Big Brother 5 as the strongest and best so far. All of them a good (Big Brother 3 is a clusterfuck) with a lot of iconic moments. If you thought that Big Brother USA was petty, Big Brother Canada is the pettiest of them all.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more Big Brother things you never knew you needed.