So you want to move to Canada, eh?

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Get ready to love maple, eh!

After President Trump’s executive order “Protecting the Nation from Foreign Terrorist Entry into the United States,” long names mean they are really important, millions of people from the around the globe is outraged and appalled. In case you aren’t aware, the order heavily restricts both the travel and immigration of persons from several predominantly Muslim countries in the Middle East and Africa. Pretty much, there’s a VIP list and if you were born and from a Muslim country, you aren’t allowed into the party. People are PISSSED. Americans are looking to head to our polite and friendly neighbors of the North-Canada. The Prime Minster of Canada posted this on his twitter that has won over the world:

So I thought that we would go to school and learn about Canadian culture so when you go there, everyone will be on the same page. Thanks to my friend the internet and my knowledge from Degrassi and How I Met Your Mother, this is “Introduction to Canadian Culture 101.” Buckle up and grab your pencil and paper because it’s going to be a ride. Note: Canadian’s please don’t politely yell at me if I’m wrong, I sadly don’t know any Canadians to ask these questions to. Also, points of this is satirical.

Canada’s diverse Culture

They encourage people to keep cultural identities, traditions, and customs. Something the US can learn from these days. They understand that embrace differences will only make them stronger. Canadian’s are also big on individually helping the community. So they are big on helping their community grow through their individualism. The main two languages are English and French. Both are the official language of Canada. Quebec is known as the only predominate French providence, equal to US States.

Canadian Government

Canada is a constitutional monarchy. What does that mean? They have a constitution but they have a Queen. No, it’s not Celine Dion because that’s a different kind of queen. They celebrate the Queen Elizabeth II. So Queen Elizabeth II isn’t just the Queen of England, she’s the Queen of Australia and New Zealand as well. Their head of the government is the Prime Minster and our BFF. Literally, their government set up goes on for days. There are so many positions that it’s mind blown. Luckily, this is just an introductory course. But this link will probably explain it better and make more sense.

Canadian’s love their providence

Canadian’s have a strong love for their providence, which they should. Like the US States, each providence is different. Here’s a breakdown of the differences by using Kardashians (Canadian, Kardashian’s are regarded as Royalty in the US):

  • Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island and Newfoundland are seen as more reserved. They are the Kourtney Kardashian of the great white north
  • Ontario is more business oriented. Obviously they are Kris Jenner.
  • Alberta, Manitoba and Saskatchewan are stereotypic Canadians with their friendliness and relaxed attitudes. They are Kylie and Kendall.
  • British Colombia is bit out there, less conventional. They are the Khloe Kardashian of Canada.
  • Quebec is more independent. They are the Kim Kardashian West.

Canadian Education system

Where to start. Their youths have so many issues going on in their life that I don’t know how they can focus on their school work. I’ve recently been watching the Canadian reality series Degrassi and these kids man, it’s different in Canadian. There seems like there’s always drama. Someone is cheating on someone, someone is knocked up by their best friend’s significant other, and it’s like what’s going on? Why hasn’t the head of education or the prime minster stepped in to prevent this?

Manners in Canada

Because of their polite nature, Canadian have very good manners and are very civil. Here’s so tips on how to fit in with them:

  • Canadians give gifts for birthdays and Christmas.
  • If invited to someone’s home for dinner, take a box of good chocolates, flowers or a bottle of wine. They will also accept your first-born child.
  • In Quebec, sending flowers in advance of the dinner party is proper protocol. They like their flowers to be alive.
  • Do not give cash or money as a present. They do accept all Mastercard and Visa cards.
  • Gifts are usually opened when received. Unless the gift opens itself, then run.
  • Table manners are relatively relaxed and informal in Canada.
  • Table manners are generally Continental, i.e. the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right while eating. Also remember pinkie out!
  • Wait to be shown to your seat.
  • Do not begin eating until the hostess starts.
  • Do not rest your elbows on the table. They will cut off your elbows.
  • Feel free to refuse foods or drink without offering an explanation. More for them.
  • Leaving a small amount at the end of the meal is generally acceptable. It’s rude to eat it all.
  • In formal situations, the host gives the first toast. An honoured guest should return the toast later in the meal. Women may give toasts. They aren’t sexist.

Canadian Health Care

They have amazing health care. Someone shot Drake in the back and paralyzed him. Now he’s walking perfectly fine like it was just a plot for the reality show Degrassi.

Canadian Weather

It’s cold as balls.

 

That’s it for this lesson. Hopefully, this will guide you on your way to being a Canadian.

Have an opinion on the issue? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject.

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Let’s go build a wall, today

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Donld is right…it’s going to be HUGGGE

Sigh. Looks like we need to talk more about Trump

On Tuesday night, Donald Trump tweeted out the following:

As planned out during his campaign, which I think a lot of us thought he was joking, President Trump and his team, Cirque du Trump, said that he was going to build a legitimate wall separating the United States and Mexico. The kicker is that Mexico is going to pay for it. This has me intrigued and here’s why.

I really want to see why how Trump talks another country into paying for a wall that is pretty much cutting them off from the US. That would take some clever wordplay and psychology-something that Trump isn’t really known for. I also don’t think he realizes how much this wall is going to cost. According to the Telegraph (sorry that I had to outsource), the wall is going to be roughly 1,900 miles and span four states. That’s going be a lot of money. Especially when you take the exchange rate into mind. They are saying that it will be around $8 billion. While that’s not a lot of Trump, that could pretty much bankrupt a country if they aren’t run by Trump.

In his inauguration speech, President Trump said: “We must protect our borders from the ravages of other countries making our products, stealing our companies and destroying our jobs.” So how is building a wall stopping Mexican’s from making our products? It’s not like we are building sometime top-secret that anyone can’t make. They really can’t steal our companies or destroy our jobs either. If you have the Mexican government pay for the wall, won’t they be using their own workforce to build the wall. That will steal jobs from Americans though. Seems like that’s the opposite of what you said.

The real question about the wall is whether it is going to have a food court. Let’s be real: that wall is a tourist attraction. It better has some damn good food. I also want a freaking mall of goods and services. I want to be able to say Hola! and grab some Orange Julius with some amigos with a big wall between us. Is that so hard to ask? It’s going to be HUUUUUGGGGEEE!

If we build a wall to keep Mexico out, then we might as build one for Canada and the merpeople. I thought about the United States needing a wall for Russian but then I remembered about Sarah Palin having it covered by watching them from her compound because she can see them from her backyard. Who needs board control when you have Sarah Palin? Back to Canadians and merpeople. Those pesky and polite Canadians have already taken away jobs with their delicious Tim Hortons. Let’s not forgot about all the talented and attractive Canadian entertainers that have taken jobs from their less talented American counterparts who think they are the next big thing. What else will this talented and polite country take from America, eh?

The merpeople are vicious creatures. Their women are vixens and seduce American men into marriage every day. Did you know that one in five American males is to be seduced by a mermaid every day? I bet you didn’t. Did also you know that one in seven women is to be seduced by a merman? Those are chilling statistics. Ariel seduced Eric just so she can be a legal citizen. Then her people attack the country when her daughter went missing. These are the alternative facts people. We need to act now before American sons/daughters fall for a mermaid/merman and take away a significant other from an American.

All in all, let’s see what becomes of this wall. And if the wall doesn’t happen, we’ll just move Sarah Palin down to the Mexican border to watch over it since Donald Trump seems to be in good with the Vladmir Putin. The Russians are under control. But we need to work fast to stop the merpeople and the polite and pesky Canadians. They are the real danger.

 

Have an opinion on the wall? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject. 

WTF is going on in Canada?

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This past Friday, “Degrassi Next Class'” latest season came out on Netflix worldwide and it returned to it’s roots of “going there.” In the previous incarnations of the popular series that makes Teens in Canada look like they should have been hugged more as children, “Degrassi” pushed the envelope when it came to what was featured on children’s television. This season really did go there and was in your face. This will contain slight spoilers because it’s going to be hard not to relieve things.

First thing first: Is this what is really going on up there? Is this what Canadian youth does? Is this what any Youth do? It’s only been a few years since I was a teen but damn Daniel, that was the most intense episode I have seen in a while. If this is what youth go through then why aren’t we, as adult, doing something to help? Also, why aren’t the parents being actual parents? Also, why isn’t Canada stepping in to monitor all the chaos that is going on at Degrassi Community School? It seems like there’s always problems there and they don’t live in what would be considered a “dangerous” portion of Toronto. So many unanswered questions.

The main plot of the season was dealing with the aftermath of the big bus crash that rocked the school at the end of season two. This event, like Rick shooting up the school or some gang violence that makes them all end up wearing a poor excuse of uniforms (You’re a freaking multi-million dollar franchise that has been on the air since the 80s-I expected better than tan pants and multi-colored polos), was the main arc for several characters this season-both big storylines and little storyline. It helped flesh out some characters that weren’t introduced from the incarnation before Next Class.

But this season was just insane. They had abortions, overdosing caused by depression and suicide, homophobia through religion that wasn’t Christianity, dealing with a love one being in coma and unsure about future, how to cope with traumatic experiences, affairs, and acceptance of others and self is just some of the major topics covered in the season’s ten episode, which is a lot. Like it was car crash and you couldn’t turn away. This was in a good way as well. I honestly want more.

So far, each season has been building off of each other and it’s working really well for the series. Overall, this is the best season of Degrassi, both “Degrassi” and “Degrassi Next Class,” we have seen so far and it’s refreshing. But seriously Canada, what is going on up there?

 

Have an opinion on the subject? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject

Degrassi is going to Netflix

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Just when you thought the show that has more drama and sexually transmitted diseases than the Kardashians finally ended, it comes back. Degrassi has officially been picked up by streaming network Netflix starting in January 2016.

After shocking the world last week with the announcement that the series, originally called “Degrassi: The Next Generation,” would be canceled by TeenNick after the completion of its summer 2015 season. “Degrassi” has been on the channel for 14 years and became the only thing constant on the channel, who has gone through multiple names and formats since it’s creation back in the mid 2000’s.

Real talk–it’s time for “Degrassi” to end. Teen shows aren’t mention to be on for more than a few years. It’s not meant to be on for years. Yes, it’s kind of like the Canada’s version of Sesame Street–instead of numbers and counting, they teach you about sex and drugs, the real things children should be learning about.

The show should have ended instead of being picked up by another network.