Sweetwater Tea Episode 3: Across the river ​​to Greendale ​​we go!

Listen up fives, a ten is speaking and I’m in the mood for some chaos. Sorry to interrupt, sad breakfast club. Riverdale isn’t the only town around Sweetwater River that is hustling and bustling with drama these days. There’s been plenty to go around in the town of Greendale. Some may even say that the drama in Greendale would belong in another realm. Welcome to Sweetwater Tea.

CLICK HERE FOR LAST EDITION OF SWEETWATER TEA

There’s something magical in the air

While some may forget that Riverdale’s own Cheryl Blossom once healed a certifiable DILF with her last kiss ever to man, Greendale has people that are both magical and sassy just like the simply iconic Cheryl Bombshell. Your friendly neighborhood witches live in the town. They are just a little less friendly and a little sassier. That’s right citizens of Greendale, it’s just not the plants that are green. If you ever wanted to meet them, just head down to the local mortuary. I hear that Sabrina Spellman and the whole Spellman clan have that “magically touch” with the customers that walk in. They have a special connection to the dead.

Word around the coven is that Sabrina’s 16th birthday party was something that will always be remembered. Did you really think you could have a party without inviting moi? Maybe that why the party ended in a mob or it could have been the fact that Sabrina turned down her date with the devil? I guess that Sabrina was never taught the golden rule: better the devil you know.

Love was in the air but now it’s down the toliet

Oh, Harvey. It won’t be for long.

Unless you are new in town, then you aware of the front-runners for cutest couple award in the Baxter High. And no, I’m not talking about the vice principal that is cheating on his wife with a head cheerleader named Libby. Sabrina and Harvey Kinkle seem to be attracted to each other like a magnet. It’s like our little Sabrina has a spell placed on Harvey. But Harvey isn’t the only member of the Kinkle clan that is under Sabrina’s spell. No one hasn’t seen or heard from Harvey’s hunky older brother ever since he survived the coal mine explosion. It’s like he magically disappeared. Maybe that’s why the other kinkle sent Sabrina flying off on her broomstick alone.

But don’t you worry your little head. Sabrina seemed to bounce rather quickly. She was seen hanging around her new school with a new man. Nicholas Scratch to be exact. Whether it was just a private tutoring session or Nicholas just want to make some magic with her, it was getting hot and heavy. But before you go thinking of ship names, I’m fond of Sabrichols or Nibrina, it seemed to not go very far. Sabrina turned down the chance to participate in an orgy with young Nicholas and a few other attractive people. Apparently, three or more is a crowd for Sabrina. Or it could have been that her cousin was in there with his boo. Loosen up, Sabrina. You never want to pass up on orgy with the one you love. Especially when they look like Nicholas Scratch.

Everyone’s favorite teacher got a new look

Was I the only one that noticed the sudden change in Mary Wardwell appearance at school? It’s like she magically got a facelift overnight. One would say that she sold her soul to Satan just to look young and hot. She went from frump school teacher to a MILF. She’s so MILF-tastic that even the local pizza boy wasn’t seen after one delivery with her. Was she that good in bed or did her newest pet project Sabrina help her with something magical? Either way, there’s something dark and magically about Mary Wardwell. It’s turning all the men in Greendale on.

Didn’t think that so much tea could be spilled in the little town that Hiram Lodge doesn’t even notice? Maybe Daddykins should sell his soul and abs to Satan. Maybe then he can finally not to worry about another set of abs with red hair. If Daddykins needs any more help, he can certainly hit me up. I’ll happily distract dem abs so everyone favorites DILF can plot and scheme. I hear plotting and scheme turns the Mayor of Riverdale on. Maybe that’s how a lowly business owner in Fred Andrews was able to get in her pants more than once. So until next time, if you breathe it’s because I give you air.

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.


Advertisements

Series Review: ‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’

Everything is not what it seems

October seems to be the month of gritty teen reboots. I’M HERE FOR IT. I recently just finished the newest reboot that will literally not allow me to look at an animal the same. Let’s dive into the world of “Riverdale” and go see a witch. A teenage witch. That’s right, let’s talk about “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.”

“Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” follows Sabrina Spellman, who tries to navigate her life as a normal teenage girl in Greendale and a witch for her coven. With the help of her aunties, Hilda and Zelda, as well as her cousin Ambrose, she must also fend the evil that is trying to convert her over to their side

This show isn’t anything like the show we knew growing up. If you walked into this expecting it to be similar to The WB/ABC show “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.”  This isn’t the fun loving comedic Sabrina we have come to know and love. There are comedic moments in the show but it’s more dark comedy. This show is creepy af. It’s hard to believe that it takes place just down the road from Riverdale and Degrassi. Yes, in my world, Riverdale and Degrassi are in the same universe. It’s the only way that all the shit that goes down unnoticed makes sense.

The darker tones fits the show so well. The witches on the show worship Satan. They are trying to appease the dark lord and do his bidding on the show. If that doesn’t let you know what kind of show this is then I don’t know what will. The show has a TV-14 rating and they go over that to the point where it makes me wonder why they didn’t get a TV-MA rating. I’m hoping that there’s an unrated version because frankly, I just want to see how dark it will actually be if they didn’t have that rating.

The acting on the show is extremely well done. You really get to see and understand each character. You get to see the character grow and change and it truly feels good when things go their way. There is some similarity between the Spellman clan in both series. But these characters are willing to do some dark things to get what want. They play with some dark shit in this show. And still, you end up relating to these characters and fall for them. Yes, Harvey and Sabrina are still totes adorable. I just wish there was dark version of Libby.

The camera work on the show is something that is my biggest problem with it. It’s more so the effects they added in post-production. Sometimes it works but other times it’s just annoying and takes away from what’s going on in the shot. I get what they were trying to do with it but it doesn’t always stick. It does more harm than good.

The show also has a tad bit of the same issues that “Riverdale” has as well when it comes to pacing. Luckily for “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina,” it’s more so that I wanted them to expand on things and not rush through things. It was so fast paced sometimes that you didn’t notice story lines that much. Like, the season finale should have been two episodes instead of just one. While it was an enjoyable and thrilling finale, it could have been more epic. There was also minor plot holes but you can rule that off as just being because of magic. They had a magical induced orgy on the show.

Verdict

“Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” is a must watch show. It’s thrilling and will keep you into the show for months to come. I highly recommend checking it out, especially if you enjoy what’s going on in the River-verse. Don’t worry, I’ll work on a better name. It is very dark. If you aren’t into dark show, then I wouldn’t watch it. But it’s more freaky and creepy than scary. It will leave you with mixture of feeling shook and creeped out.

Rating: 4 out of 5

 

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.