Let’s make the Yuletide gay again

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. It’s also the gayest time of year. Yep, you read that right. It’s the gayest time of year. Christmas is literally the gayest holiday of them all. Easter probably is a close second, but that’s a story for another day.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing that Christmas is the gayest holiday of them all. In fact, it’s what makes Christmas so jolly and a spectacle. This is good fun. Being gay, more specifically LGBTQ+ isn’t a bad thing and shouldn’t be treated as such. I’m just saying what most LGBTQ+ are thinking. This is meant to be in good fun.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Yas king.

The ironic thing about Christmas being gay af is a simple fact that it’s a Christian holiday. I wouldn’t say most, but Christians aren’t too big on LGBTQ+. Top it all off, Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ in Christianity. Now I’m not saying that Jesus was a homosexual, but I’ve never seen a straight man want his birth celebrated with a dead tree covered in decorations, lights, and a star on the top of it.

You can not tell me that a Gay didn’t decorate this

Then we decorate our homes in lights and other decorations. These lights are typically rainbow lights. What does a rainbow represent? Peace and serenity. Oh, it’s also the colors of the gay flag. Yeah, you are decorating your home in virtually the gay flag to celebrate the birth of the most fabulous human of all time.

Then we also turn Christmas into a musical theatre production with the songs we listen to during this time of year. I’m talking about Christmas songs. They pretty much show tunes. So when you are singing about mommy kissing Santa Claus, it’s a show tune. I’m not talking about the new versions of the song, but rather the original ones that we were listening to from the 1950s. They are show tunes, and we celebrate them like they are a classic broadway number. That’s gay. That’s very gay. 

Santa Claus is a gay bear daddy.

Then we have the gayest thing about Christmas: Santa Claus. I’m sorry, but the only guy that slides down tight holes in satin polyester matching jumpsuit and hat with a huge stack of toys is gay. He had me sold at the outfit alone. Yep, you read that right. I’m calling Santa a homosexual. He was only trying to get your daddy when he was kissing your mommy. Make you wonder what kind of “toys” in his bag. This makes more sense of why moms love to take their children to trust him. Moms love good and nice gays.

My goal is not to ruin Christmas for the masses. But instead, let all the gay-hating and judgemental people of the world that even their sacred holiday is gay. In fact, it’s probably the gayest holiday of them all. And y’all accept Christmas for the homosexual that it is, and yet you don’t accept your fellow man. It’s what gay Jesus would want you to do. This holiday season, I hope everyone finds love, acceptance, and better taste in clothing. 

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Another letter to Santa

Dear Santa Claus,

Hello there! It’s me again. I hope this letter finds you well. I’m very glad to see that you still aren’t in jail. Don’t worry, karma ends up catching up to you eventually. Again, I’m joking slightly. I’m writing you this letter again because I need you to give some gifts out for me. I’m broke af, I cannot afford to get some of these gifts. Not to mention that some of these gifts are impossible for me to get. Just be happy that I’m getting you this letter before Christmas. Anyways here’s my list. 

Kim Kardashian has been working on the same letter since last year 

CLICK HERE TO READ LAST YEAR’S LETTER TO SANTA

Bailey Miller: Queen of Jelly, Bows, and city treasure

You failed me last year, Santa. I asked you to get my friend, click here to follow her on Twitter, Nick Jonas and you gave him to the wrong girl. Now he’s off and married unaware that he’s missing out a lifetime of free jam and jelly. Sure, I might have asked you to get her a new man but you still should have made her dreams come true with Nick Jonas. That what you are about. Making dreams come true? I’m also still waiting to find KJ Apa a good home but that’s something we can discuss another time.

This year, please get Bailey a man since you took Nick Jonas off the market. I’m serious too! You need to make it up for her. I recommend a CW star because they are all super attractive. Charles Melton, Reggie from “Riverdale,” would be a good fit for her. Cole Sprouse but one of his characters dated a Bailey and that would be awkward. In college, she liked to watch frat boys and patiently wait for them to ask her to the sock hop and to get a soda pop. That gives you an idea of who to have your vertically challenged slaves kidnap and put a bow on. Oh, and she would also like Demi Lovato to release more music. I would also like her to do go to Lindsay Lohan’s beach club so she can truly go on a Lohan holiday. 

Donald Trump

…..I’m still waiting for the refund….

Victoria Justice

While I may in the past have made comments on about Vicky J, I think WE ALL need to be a little nicer on the girl who may or may not bullied Ariana Grande and ended the gem “VICTORiOUS.” Without her, we wouldn’t have Ariana Grande’s rise to be a pop star. For that, I decided that she doesn’t coal this year. Please give Victoria Justice a career again. It doesn’t have to be anything too long or good, just something that will tie her over. I wouldn’t mind if that would be a “VICTORiOUS” reunion movie. I think WE ALL would agree that it would be great. Santa, let’s make Vicky J great again!

People of the United States

Like last year, Please give the people of the United States the ability to pull their heads out of their self-centered asses and think of others instead of themselves. Also, please make them less rude. 

Jake Paul

While I might have suggested that he and his brother, Logan, might have sold their soul to the devil, I think he deserves a little Christmas joy this year. I would like Jake Paul to have some actually true friends. While he has friends, I would like him to have some that will be good influences on him. What I got from Shane Dawson’s docuseries is that he needs those in his life. He has a good head on his shoulders but he need the right people in his life to make smart decisions. 

I hope you are able to deliver these gifts to them. It would make me the happiest boy in the world. Please let me know when you are going to come visit my house. I have my attack cats ready to assault you. They are trained to protect the house. Hope to see you soon!

Your “friend,”

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Steven Kaufman

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Does Ariana Grande’s ‘Santa Tell Me’ still hold up 4 years later?

All I Want For Christmas is a man

Welcome to Ariana Fridays! Every Friday leading up to Christmas, I’ll be review Ariana Grande Christmas catalog. She happens to have two EPs and  one single. Nothing brings Christmas cheer like Ariana Grande.

Back in 2014, I reviewed Ariana Grande’s Christmas jingle “Santa Tell Me.” I gave that a 2 candy canes out of 5. I thought it was cute to rate things based on items that have to do with that. I’m glad I no longer do that. I thought it was a good idea to actually re-review what one Ariana Grande fan has called a “holiday bop.” Was I too harsh on the song or was I right along? Welcome to the Pop Project Redux, where I re-review things because I’m out of ideas for content. 

Click Here for the other Ariana Fridays articles

Now when I first reviewed “Santa Tell Me,” I’ll be the first to admit that it wasn’t a good review. I spent more time complaining about the fact that Christmas themed song is overly done than actually tell you about the single. It’s not something that I would post today unless it’s for the video of the song. 

“Santa Tell Me” was released as a stand-alone Christmas song from Ms. Grande, Miss Butera is you’re nasty, in the US. It was included in Ariana’s Christmas EP “Christmas Kisses” in the land of the rising sun Japan. Click the link under a winking Ariana for that review. Ariana has been weird when it comes to Christmas music. It’s like she wants to release some but yet she doesn’t. I just waiting for the studio version of her cover of “All I Want For Christmas is You.”

The song itself isn’t a bad song. It’s your standard Ariana Grande song.  It has a catchy beat. It’s pretty much talking about asking Santa for a man for Christmas but not getting your hopes up in case Santa can’t fit another human down a chimney.  She wants a man that care and not like the past men in her life. It’s kind of bland lyrics. Like who ask Santa Claus for a man? 

The lyrics hold back the song. If it was a little less cheery, then it would make sense but the tone of the lyrics and the beat doesn’t mes well. The lyrics are deep but the fact that it’s on a Christmas song make them bland. This topic would have been better handled as a non-Christmas song.  It would have been able to get deep and the depth it should have gotten. 

It sounds like Miss Butera is trying to create something you will listen to all year round but it falls short. It feels like a rushed and like they were just trying to put it out to capitalize and boost sales for “Christmas Kisses.” It is a bop but not a bop like all the other bops she has put out. The video for “Santa Tell Me” does make it 100% better. It doesn’t fit the song lyrically but does it fit the beat and is adorable. It’s pretty much just Ariana and her friends having fun and spreading Christmas cheer around her house. 

Verdict

“Santa Tell Me” is an attempt to be a holiday classic but it falls short. Unless you are a hardcore Ariana Grande fan, you will probably enjoy when it comes on but it probably won’t be something you will remember to play every Christmas. I do recommend listening to it at least once or twice. It is a quality listen. I would watch the video while listening to it just for the fact it makes it more enjoyable. It’s an enjoyable song either way but more enjoyable with the visuals.

Also, make sure you listen take a listen to the Japanese version, it’s dirtier. There’s talks of mounting and someone unwrapping her. It’s worth the listen for a dirty Christmas song.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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Ariana Grande brings Christmas cheer in ‘Christmas Kisses’

Welcome to Ariana Fridays! Every Friday leading up to Christmas, I’ll be review Ariana Grande Christmas catalog. She happens to have two EPs and  one single. Nothing brings Christmas cheer like Ariana Grande.

It’s the first Friday in December! Do you know what that means? Only 18 days until Christmas. As you have a massive heart attack because you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping, it’s time to go down memory lane  and reminisce about Ariana Grande’s first ever Christmas EP “Christmas Kisses.” Also, I swear this isn’t being an Ariana Grande fan site. It just happens she’s a queen and I appreciate a queen being a queen. Welcome to the first edition of Ariana Fridays!

“Christmas Kisses” was released in December of 2013. Instead of having all the songs come out on the EP release date, each song was released individually as single the weeks leading up to the release date. This was done similar to Justin Bieber and how he did his album “Journals,” which was also released in the same month.  It’s like they have the same manger or something. 

The EP features four songs on it. Two of the songs are covers while the other two songs are original Christmas songs. The album is a good mix of pop and R&B. It’s similar in style to her debut album “Yours Truly.” The album has a good flow when it comes to the layout and progression of the EP. It starts out fast paced and extremely upbeat before ending on a much relaxing and slower pace. The EP has this old-school Britney Spears and Mariah Carey feel to it. 

The two covers are of “Last Christmas” and “Santa Baby,” which also features former “VICTORiOUS” co-star Liz Gillies. Both songs Ariana put her own spin on to where they are still the same songs you know and love but more update to date. This is more so apparent in “Last Christmas” where she added in a new verse. This is the kind of covers of Christmas music I want to hear. She adds something new to the songs and not let it be just the same old song. 

The two original songs, “Love in Everything,” and “Snow in California” are good songs but they aren’t that memorable as the other two. They aren’t bad songs but they are just average. “Love is Everything” is such as better song compared to “Snow in California.” It’s just too corny with the lyrics. It’s even too corny for Christmas music standards. “Snow in California” is just meh. It’s not bad but it’s not good. It just feels like filler on the album. It’s also not as lyrically strong as the rest of the album. 

Verdict

“Christmas Kisses” is great first Christmas EP but it’s nothing too great. The covers on the album are the highlights while the original songs are something that most people will just gloss over. I do recommend this EP as it’s good music to have on in the background during this holiday season. You will mainly be listening to the covers. 

Rating: 4 out of 5

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