Ariana Grande brings Christmas cheer in ‘Christmas Kisses’

Welcome to Ariana Fridays! Every Friday leading up to Christmas, I’ll be review Ariana Grande Christmas catalog. She happens to have two EPs and  one single. Nothing brings Christmas cheer like Ariana Grande.

It’s the first Friday in December! Do you know what that means? Only 18 days until Christmas. As you have a massive heart attack because you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping, it’s time to go down memory lane  and reminisce about Ariana Grande’s first ever Christmas EP “Christmas Kisses.” Also, I swear this isn’t being an Ariana Grande fan site. It just happens she’s a queen and I appreciate a queen being a queen. Welcome to the first edition of Ariana Fridays!

“Christmas Kisses” was released in December of 2013. Instead of having all the songs come out on the EP release date, each song was released individually as single the weeks leading up to the release date. This was done similar to Justin Bieber and how he did his album “Journals,” which was also released in the same month.  It’s like they have the same manger or something. 

The EP features four songs on it. Two of the songs are covers while the other two songs are original Christmas songs. The album is a good mix of pop and R&B. It’s similar in style to her debut album “Yours Truly.” The album has a good flow when it comes to the layout and progression of the EP. It starts out fast paced and extremely upbeat before ending on a much relaxing and slower pace. The EP has this old-school Britney Spears and Mariah Carey feel to it. 

The two covers are of “Last Christmas” and “Santa Baby,” which also features former “VICTORiOUS” co-star Liz Gillies. Both songs Ariana put her own spin on to where they are still the same songs you know and love but more update to date. This is more so apparent in “Last Christmas” where she added in a new verse. This is the kind of covers of Christmas music I want to hear. She adds something new to the songs and not let it be just the same old song. 

The two original songs, “Love in Everything,” and “Snow in California” are good songs but they aren’t that memorable as the other two. They aren’t bad songs but they are just average. “Love is Everything” is such as better song compared to “Snow in California.” It’s just too corny with the lyrics. It’s even too corny for Christmas music standards. “Snow in California” is just meh. It’s not bad but it’s not good. It just feels like filler on the album. It’s also not as lyrically strong as the rest of the album. 

Verdict

“Christmas Kisses” is great first Christmas EP but it’s nothing too great. The covers on the album are the highlights while the original songs are something that most people will just gloss over. I do recommend this EP as it’s good music to have on in the background during this holiday season. You will mainly be listening to the covers. 

Rating: 4 out of 5

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

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A letter to Santa Claus

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Santa, can you hear me?

Dear Santa,

I hope this letter finds you well as you prepare to break into countless homes around the world in order to give the children you find worthy gifts. Joking about you breaking into homes…sort of. If you want to read more about here my article where I pretty much call you creepy. Anyways, I writing you this letter last minute because I have some people I would like you to give some gifts. And because you are a very “busy man,” let’s be real: you enslaved vertically challenged people to do your bidding, I broke it down in a sort of bullet points. They are after this gif of Kim Kardashian West pretending that she can read.

My friend Bailey Miller: queen of Bows, Jelly, and being extra af

You might remember her. Here’s her twitter because she wants that free promo for nothing. smh. She wanted me to ask you for Nick Jonas under her Christmas tree but I told her that you only give out new toys and not old ones. So please get her a new mantoy to obsessive over. No one should get hammy downs for Christmas. I recommend KJ Apa because he has “dem abs,” a sugar daddy, or even one of those Disney stars that aren’t a 50 year playing a teenager. You might want to get her something to keep her alive because she’s always saying that “she’s dead.” If she is dead when you get there, I will find a good home for KJ. Oh, she’s also very jelly that Jojo’s bow game. Please make it okay for someone in their mid 20s to wear bows. But take that ability away once her bows become they engulf her head.

Jojo Siwa

She’s literally everywhere this year and I just have two simple requests for her. Please get her something that will make less like she’s sharing Honey Boo Boo’s gogo juices. Also, please take her to a good doctor for her neck. Her bows are the size of her head, that really can’t be good for the neck in the long run, especially when she’s shaking it all around. Honestly, if you can get her a lot of small bows, the world would thank you as well as her parents in the future because those medical bills will break their bank.

President Trump

I know asking for a refund on this one is asking for too much, so can you please just take away his Twitter, his ego, his ability to talk, and his ability to be seen on TV? Also, please get him a membership to hair club to men. That hair is something no one should have to see or live with.

People of the United States

This one is a biggy. Please give the people of the United States the ability to pull their heads out of their self centered asses and think of others instead of themselves. Also, please make them less rude.

The Kardashian/Jenner Family

What do you get the family that literally has everything? Please get them more important things to do than just being on a reality show. I’m kind of over them to a certain degree. I still will celebrate anniversary’s by Kardashian’s rather than gems, because Kardashian’s are forever. I just would like one year where I don’t have to hear about who they are getting “jolly” with. Also, please get them more clothes. Every year, it seems like their clothes are shrinking or they are just losing them. Oh, please give Scott Disick more screen time because he’s the best thing about the show.

I hope you are able to deliver these gifts to them. It would make me the happiest boy in the world. Please let me know when you are going to come visit my house. I have my attack cats ready to assault you. They are trained to protect the house. Hope to see you soon!

Your “friend,”

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Steven Kaufman

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more cool things. 

 

Top 5ive: Christmas songs that aren’t annoying

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year

If you are like me, you cannot stand Christmas music. Like, why do we need to have 50 different versions of the same song? Sure, some are WAY better than others but still. How many times do you want to hear “Jingle Bells?” Probably only once. I personally never heard of anyone that just loves hear every single version of “Jingle Bell.” If you have, I wouldn’t associate with them anymore because they may or may not be a serial killer. Because of my “love” for Christmas music, I thought I would share my top five favorite Christmas songs that don’t make me want to shove a candy cane into my ear so far that they puncture my eardrums. That was graphic. Here’s a gif from “Mean Girls” that also will help you go into the Holiday spirit. Fun fact: Every time​ I hear “Jingle Bell Rock,” I do the thigh slap when it comes in the dance.

5. “Santa Claus lane” by Hilary Duff

While it’s not the greatest technically sounding sound, it is catchy as fuck. It’s was made early on in Hilary’s career, and while you can tell, it’s still good enough to get stuck in your head for days upon days. It was just all clean and wholesome fun. It’s sad that we have to reminisce about a clean and wholesome christmas song. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is such a kinky song. If you really try, “Santa Claus Lane” could also be an extremely dirty song. I’ll you pondering that.

4. “Greatest Time of Year” by Aly & AJ

Let’s be real for a moment, Aly & AJ are the unsung goddesses of mid 2000s Disney. You really don’t hear about them when people think back the “good ole days” of Disney.  “Greatest Time of Year” is just more to reasons why they are the best. It’s just a Christmas song that isn’t a Christmas. You can listen to it anytime of year and it will just put you in a happy mood. It just the best. Man, I’m so glad that they are back.

3. “It’s Not Christmas Without You” by Cast of ‘VICTORiOUS’

“VICTORiOUS” is literally the greatest Nickelodeon show that has ever graced our Television. When it’s on, it never gets old because of how it was written and how amazing the cast was. This song is just another reason for that because it’s a bop. You have killer vocals from a future Carrington, a future Grammy nominee….and Victoria Justice. I highly recommend this song if you are wanting something that isn’t slightly depressing. Most Christmas songs just sound depressing.

2. “Jolly to the Core” by Cast of ‘Descendants’

Never heard of this one? Well, that’s probably a good thing. This song is a Christmas version of the theme of the first “Descendants” movie, “Rotten to the Core.” It’s actually an extremely well done. Most times when people do this, it’s a shit show. This isn’t a shit show. It’s quite the opposite. It’s so catchy and is such a departure from its dubstep and EDM counterpart, it a breath of fresh air. Whoever thought of this way to milk more money out of the “Descendants” movie was a genius.

1. “All I Want For Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey

You really can’t hate this song because it’s fucking Mariah before she got all 50 shades of cray. It’s a catchy song and you can’t tell me you don’t queen out when she hit that’s whistle note that she’s so famous for. This song is just everything. It’s not overplayed, at least this version. We aren’t even going to get into the version she did with Bieber. It wasn’t bad but it just has so much wrong with it. I miss this MiMi.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more holiday cheer. 

Christmas “comes” too early

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We as a nation is suffering from Premature Christmulation. It’s what happens when Christmas “comes” too early. It’s affecting 10 in every 20 Americans. As soon as it’s remotely closer to the arrival of the jolly fat man that breaks into your home in order to give you gifts and eat your food, people go bat cray. Like they are already pulling out their Christmas trees and playing songs about the holiday. This is Premature Christmulation.

Instead of just waiting for it to “come” like every other freaking holiday, we try to rush it and celebrate it longer than we do for any other holiday. Do we celebrate Halloween for over two months? No because you are seen wearing a costume any other time, you are called names and viewed as an outcast. But yet, wearing Christmas outfits in November is perfectly acceptable. I get the reasoning behind Christmas and why it’s so important but we need just let it “come” when it does instead of rushing it. Everything is better when you let it “come” naturally.

Rushing it all makes it unwilling when Christmas day “comes.”  By the time it does “arrive,” it’s not as fulfilling and just makes you want to go “is it over yet?” or “Is that it?” If we just let it happen instead of rushing it, it’s so much better.  So don’t suffer from Premature Christmulation, let’s celebrate Christmas once Thanksgiving is over.

 

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