It’s a whole new world with the new ‘Aladdin’

In the fall of 1992, Walt Disney Pictures released the animated feature film “Aladdin.” Based on the Arabic folk tale “One Thousand and One Nights,” the film went on to become the highest-grossing film of the year, as well as have an animated series, two direct to video sequels, and a Broadway adaptation. And like everything in this world, it’s time that to remake the classic Disney film that made an estimated $504 million in the box office because of money.

A Whole New World

“Aladdin” was directed in Guy Ritchie (“Snatch,” “Sherlock Holmes,” “One of Madonna’s ex-husbands”). Guy also wrote the screenplay with John August (“Charlie’s Angels,” “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”). Like stated and mocked above, this is a remake. While I wouldn’t call it a modern retelling, it is a different version of the movie that we have gotten. There’s a lot of what we loved about the original film, as well as some updated elements that help add more depth to the story.

Mena Massoud (“Jake Ryan”) stars as the title character Aladdin, a young thief from the right side of the tracks that end up falling for Princess Jasmine, played by Namoi Scott (“Saban’s Power Rangers,” upcoming reboot of “Charlie’s Angels”). Aladdin gets trapped in the cave of wonder after Jafar, Marwan Kenzari (“Ben-Hur,” “The Mummy,” the remake king), send him in after Aladdin meets the Genie, Will Smith (“Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” “Men In Black”), and the Genie helps him try to win over Princess Jasmine’s heart before Jafar’s master plan comes into light.

Honestly, this movie isn’t horrible. It’s not the most magnificent remake in the world, especially went it’s compared to the source material. “Aladdin” is overall little over two hours and ten minutes or 128 minutes. 1992 “Aladdin” is about an hour and a half, or 90 minutes. That’s about 38 minutes longer than it needs to be. I get that it’s different when it comes to live-action vs. animated. If they could have chopped off 10-15 minutes, then it wouldn’t have dragged toward the end. Most of that is more depth in parts to add to the plot. Some of that does work, but a lot of it doesn’t work. It just feels out of place and drags the movie.

The acting in the movie is excellent. Everyone in the film does an excellent job as portraying the characters. I’m not a big fan of Will Smith as the Genie, but that was always going to be a hard act to follow. I’m also sad that Gilbert Gottfried didn’t reprise his role as Iago, but it works as Iago didn’t have that big of a function like in the animated works. The music in the film is also well done. It’s all the songs from the original movie, plus one new song that honesty is everything. Mena, Naomi, and Marwan are the ones that shine the most in their roles.

Production-wise, this is a beautifully shot and produced film. Some of the directing is a little wonky at times, but you can look past it at how they brought this film to life. Parts of it was produced in Jordan, and those deserts scenes are what really make it feel like “Aladdin.” The CGI is okay but for a Disney film in 2019, it could have and should have been better.

Verdict

“Aladdin” isn’t a bad movie; if you didn’t know it was a remake, it would be a fun Disney movie. As a remake, “Aladdin” doesn’t stack up to what we got with the “Beauty and the Beast” remake. While I appreciate them trying to add to the overall plot and story of “Aladdin,” the changes don’t do anything for the movie. I do recommend checking out the film, because like I said, it’s a good movie on its own merits. But as a remake of a beloved classic, it falls short of being in the same class.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

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5ive Disney movie reboot pitches that need to happen

You get a reboot! You get a reboot! EVERYBODY GETS A REBOOT!

I don’t know about you because I’m frankly sick and tired of all these reboots. It seems like that’s all we get anymore. Hardly any original movies. Those original movies are geared towards our youth. I think it’s time to turn the classic Disney movies into harden reboots that would make Mickey Mouse blush. 

Because I’ve already done gritty Disney Channel reboots, I thought it was time to tackle the long list of Disney movies. Here are 5ive Disney movie reboots. I believe that these are created by me. If someone else thought of these ideas before me, then I’m sorry for all the things that go through your head. Oh, there’s no pictures because you need to use your imagination. Also, it’s late and I’m tired.

Lady and the Tramp

In this reboot, a couple gets turned into dogs after the boyfriend gets caught cheating. If they wish to return back, they must find true love within three days. Okay, so this one has nothing to do with the original premise but let’s be real: that movie had no real premise. It was about two dogs falling in love. Sure, it was sweet but c’mon. This sounds way better. Oh, the spaghetti scene is still in there but it’s PG-13. We could also make this into a movie involving furries but I think that’s too soon.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

This one is going to be a gritty reboot because why the hell not! So the Evil Queen is really Snow White’s mother. Queen is jealous that Snow White is young and beautiful. The Evil Queen is only getting older. She hires a hitman to seduce and kill Snow White so she can collect the insurance money to get some plastic surgery. A little lipo and facelift will make her look younger. Plastic surgeons are pretty much like fairy godmothers. Anyways, the hitman seduces her but fails to kill her because she’s talented. So he puts her in the hands of the witness protection until they can catch the evil queen. They stick her with the seven dwarfs, who are like their cartoon counterparts but more messed up. Doesn’t this sound like a quality movie? Oh, the prince is actually the hitman handyman/lover. He swings both ways.

The Parent Trap

This reboot is about how two identical twin strippers meet while at an adult entertainment convention. After they cause a little mayhem at the convention, they decided to trade places to see what the other’s life is like. They want to know their actual other parent, as well as their mature play friends. Yep, I just turned “The Parent Trap” into what can only be described as a Disney porn. You are welcome for this gift.

Fantasia

This is pretty much just one big adventure into being high. It a requirement that you are high during this movie…okay, you can be fake high. It would probably only be enjoyable if you were high. That’s how trippy this movie is going to be.

Mary Poppins

Now, this has nothing to do with the sequel, “Mary Poppins Returns.” It’s about a strange lady that corrupts the minds of children into believing that she has magical powers. Once her work is done, she kills the children and leaves her minions in their place. Yep, “Mary Poppins” is a horror movie. If you really think about it, the movie was messed up, to begin with. My reboot isn’t doing anything that hasn’t been already done.

I hope that you enjoyed the plot for these reboots. They are going to hit theaters when Disney gets their act together and makes them. I estimate that in 2020.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me every day.

 

Movie Review: ‘Beauty and the Beast’ remake shines like a rose

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Tales as old a time

I know that I’m late on this train but I finally got around to watching the brand new live-action “Beauty and the Beast.” Like any movie that I watch, I’ve decided to write a review of it because as an avid fan of the original Disney animated movie, I have some thoughts that I want to share. And yes, I’ll also talk about this as well, like it really matters.

So if you have seen the original animated movie, then you have pretty much seen this movie. It’s literally just a copy and paste of the original movie script with some added new songs and scenes to help expand on the movie a little bit longer. They also changed some of the aspects of it because it’s live-actions. The cartoon aspects of it sightly wouldn’t have made sense in a live-action setting.

The story follows Belle, a smart headstrong girl from a little village, as she meets a snobby and stubborn prince that was turn into a hideous beast. The prince must fall learn to love and be loved before the petals of a magical rose fall off, or he will stay as a beast forever. Like the prince, his servants were turned into household items as they serve him. While being held captive by him, Belle begins to bring out the good and warm the Beast cold heart.

The live action movie is actually rather good. The length, while really long, allows it to expand on things that were hardly brought up in the movie itself. Like we actually see what caused the prince to be turned into the beast. It’s still the same opening monologue like in the animated movie, but instead of the stain glass pictures, it’s acted out in front of you. Other scenes like that were spliced in there, along with totally new scenes that just help tell the story more. It’s actually blended well with the original scenes, that you can’t even tell.

All of your favorite numbers from the animated movie are in the remake. They are all done extremely well. Emma Watson, who wasn’t particularly known for being a singer, pulled it off well. “Be Our Guest” and “Beauty and the Beast” were my favorite out of the all of the musical numbers. They really showed how much effort was put into make the film close to the animated one as they possible could.

The downside with this being a remake was the fact that it was literally just a word by word, scene by scene carbon copy of the 1991 animated film. While they shouldn’t fix what isn’t broke, it would have been nice to have there was a difference. When I was watching, it just felt like I’ve all ready seen this movie. It’s still a good movie, but it’s just extremely predictable because it’s just a carbon copy of the 1991 animated film.

Now let’s spill some tea on the homosexuality in the movie that had thousands of people freaking out instead of the fact that a women falls in love with an animal. Sigh. If you didn’t want this movie “turning your child too gay,” don’t worry-your child has more of chance to date your pet than that. There’s hints of it during the movie but there’s only like four seconds of any LGBTQ+ that is bluntly in your face. There’s no way that a few seconds of two guys waltzing and a guy wearing a dress and working it that will cause your child to become gay. So you can rip up your check for conversion therapy because “Beauty and the Beast” will not force you to start praying the gay away. Spoiler: it wouldn’t have worked anyways.

If you are looking a great movie to watch or you love the original movie, then “Beauty and the Beast” is the move for you. Sure, you’ve seen it before when it was animated, but the live-action version adds more to the story that the animated didn’t. It’s literally a carbon copy remake and that is where the films falls. If you seen the original, then you don’t really need to see this one. I do recommend seeing it as it’s a joy.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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Movie Review: Descendants 2

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It’s the “High School Musical” of this generation and then newest Disney Channel Original Movie franchise that will be milked for every bit of money that Disney can get out of it. And I’m reviewing it so you know whether you should watch it or not. Fun fact: I’m actually 26 years old but you would never guess by the fact that I’m reviewing a movie geared towards people half my age. I feel old now.

Unlike this review, “Descendants 2” doesn’t feature Kristen Chenoweth. That is a travesty because she is an amazing gift. “Descendants 2” takes place shortly after the first movie. It follows Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay as they continue to adjust to life in Auradon. Mal is still in a relationship with Ben and both prepare for life when he becomes king. Things take a turn when Mal and Ben fight about Mal “fitting in” with the people of Auradon. This causes her to run back to the Isle where it’s soon discovered that life has moved on with them there and there’s a new person in charge-Uma, the daughter of Ursula from “The Little Mermaid.” Chaos ensues as everything goes to the Isle to get Mal to return to Auradon.

This movie is extremely better than the first one. Besides the fact you can tell that there was a bigger budget for this film, the plot makes more sense and doesn’t feel like it only conveniently brought up when the story benefits from it. This movie’s plot is consistent and brought out throughout the movie. The music is also very well done. It’s much more catchy and just make you want to get down. “It’s Goin’ Down” is probably the best group song out of all the full cast numbers in their movie, which is saying something because the opening number “Way to Be Wicked” was lit.

“Space Between” is hands down the best number in the entire franchise.  There’s just so much sexual tension between Mal and Evie in this song that you know they were an item before Mal got with Ben and Evie got with Doug. This is song between past lovers that also happen to be best friends. Sofia Carson and Dove Cameron just rock that ballad beautifully. Give me more of this! Oh, speaking of this, apparently there’s a deleted scene where Harry and Gil are lock lips with each other. Disney, I appalled this and keep it up.

The only bad part of the movie is the final act, which is after “It’s Goin’ Down” to the end. It just long and makes you go “is this really how the movie ends?” and then when the plot twist happens, you end up just going “when did that happen?” It’s not horribly bad but could have been done quicker or made it more interesting. It also suffers from a lackluster finish. The way it ended didn’t really make sense, especially when Uma was given the same offer earlier on in the movie and denied it.

“Descendants 2” is an amazing sequel to the original movie. It’s way better than the original movie in every way. It’s extremely interesting throughout the film but sadly fails to find the proper final act that the movie should have had. Also, it needed more Kristen Chenoweth.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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