Why Oprah Winfrey should run for President?

Lock the door. Lower the blinds.

If you have lived under rock for the past couple of days, everyone has talked about Oprah Winfrey and her running for president. Besides that I covered that last year, It’s been getting people talking about whether she should run for president. Let’s have a moment for the fact that I broke the first before all the news outlets. Anderson Cooper, eat your hear out.

For those that aren’t sure what the fuck they are in for, a kiki is a party for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve. So let’s talk about how people don’t think Oprah Winfrey should run for President. All of this is coming from people who voted for Donald J. Trump. I’ll let that sink.

After her amazing speech at the 2018 Golden Globes, she had people moved by it. It was just an extremely good speech. Because how elegantly she spoke, people want her to run for president. There was a whole Twitter conversations about it and pretty much the internet agreed that she should run in 2020. But then there was the other side of it. The side that said Oprah shouldn’t run and that she wasn’t qualified because she was a celebrity.

To the people who said that Oprah isn’t qualified, I say this: Donald Trump is our President and you cannot tell me he was actually qualified. Donald Trump and Oprah are both celebrities so your argument is invalid. If the Donald Trump getting elected into office taught us anything is that no one really cares if you are qualified. They just care about them and if you can get them what they want. Like stop caring about the environment because who the fuck need that when you are paying in taxes. You cannot afford to enjoy the environment since your broke.

Everyone knew that Trump getting elected would start a trend of celebrities getting interested in running. It’s actually their right to run for office, just like it’s your right to do the same. I know I just shocked you with that bit of knowledge there. I say if they want to run for President, let them! They honestly can’t be as bad. Besides, we still have to vote for them. We have the last say on who will represent the parties and who is going to run it.

You at least owe her a chance to run. You could like her position on things. Personally, I would prefer my President to have a political experience. I wouldn’t go get a major surgery from someone who said they could do. I watch a lot of “Grey’s Anatomy” but I’m not going around opening up chest and repairing organs. Why would you want the same for the person running the country? But if we aren’t going to go with experience but rather who we think will do a good job and who will match up with your beliefs. Doesn’t this sound like why you voted for Trump?

If Oprah is running against Trump, don’t vote for her if you don’t like her. Just like most of America didn’t vote for Trump. Just don’t say she’s not qualified because she’s a celebrity. She’s more qualified than Trump. ANYONE is more qualified than him.

This kiki was…..

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Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more sass. 

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Top 5ive: Celebrities that sold their soul to the devil

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It’s the 666 article, did you expect anything less?

Yep, This is the 666 article on this site. It’s only fitting that we talk about the celebrities that sold their soul to the devil to become famous. Now, this is all alleged because I really don’t have any proof that they are sitting in their not so humble abodes sacrificing animals for career highs. If I did, I wouldn’t be posting in on here. But if I go missing after this, then you know why. Anyways, here are the top 5ive celebrities that allegedly sold their soul to the devil. Again, if I go missing you know why.

(Editor Note: this isn’t mean to be taken like they seriously sold their soul. This is more so off of who are/were shoved in our faces every minute. This was meant to be in good fun and not to harm anyone.)

 

5. Victoria Justice

This one is number five because frankly, her sacrifice wasn’t anything the devil wanted. She also could have just kicked him to the curb.  That or not even the devil could make her. Either way, Victoria Justice probably got her own show on Nickelodeon because she was part of their weekly rituals. Yep, Nickelodeon was big on the weekly ritual for their stars. They wanted that money. Sure, Victoria Justice was talented but she got her ass handed to her on “VICTORiOUS.” Every episode by future Grammy Nominee Ariana Grande and Liz Gillies, as known as Fallon Carrington on “Dynasty” in fact.  Where is Vicky now? She has a very open schedule.

4. Lindsay Lohan

Sadly, this one is probably extremely true. Since her recovery, LiLo has been pretty desperate to get back into the spotlight. Literally. She’s trying so hard to make thing happens that probably won’t happen just because it would get her back to being famous. She would sell her soul to become relevant again. Could you really blame her though? She was pretty much the Queen of the mid to early 2000s. Probably being a “Social Justice Warrior” isn’t as fulfilling as working in front of a camera or recording an album.

 

3. Logan and Jake Paul

This one doesn’t really need any explanation. They are all the worst. They just need to go away. But that will never happen thanks to the devil. They are literally just everywhere and you can’t go to YouTube without hearing them referenced. Like, why are they famous? Why are they on my feeds? I don’t follow them on anything and I’m seriously confused by them. Everyone complains about them but yet, they are still famous. Also, can the devil get them better haircuts or just a stylist?

 

 

2. Ryan Seacrest

Where do I begin? What does Ryan Seacrest actually do that is better than anyone else? Have you read his bio on his site? Here’s a link to it. Ryan is the “quintessential Hollywood insider who always manages to have the biggest scoops.” But don’t worry, Ryan is also “a normal guy who relates to his listeners.” It’s all lies. Also, his bio on his site SCREAMS douche. I’m sorry but it does. He definitely sold his soul after idol got big to make more money. Now the son of the bitch is everywhere. He probably got “American Idol” back from the devil. SOMETHING NO ONE ASKED FOR!!! He probably gave Kris Jenner the devil’s number.

1. The Kardashians

You cannot tell me that Kris Jenner isn’t sitting at home in between meeting sacrificing a lamb so her children can make her richer. Kris probably has a secret room in her compound dedicated to the ritual and the sacrifices. I wonder if she is the manager of the devil? It’s probably one of those “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine” kind of deal. I bet the devil is connected now because of Kris Jenner. OMG the Illuminati. I’m just going to stop there before I really do go missing.

 

Honorable Mention: Donald J. Trump and his cabinet

You know it’s true. There’s no way that he won the election without a bit of help from the devil.  I’m also not going to post a picture of them because frankly, I’m just over them. ALL OF THEM. Nah. Trump only worships himself.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me all the time.

 

Pop Project Investigates: Covfefe

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Here we go again. sigh.

Welcome to the first edition of “Pop Project Investigates.” It where I put on my investigative journalist hat in order to properly figure out what’s going on. Let’s talk about convfefe.

For those of you who don’t know, this is a tweet that Donald Trump sent out and then later delete:

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Many suspects that Trump just misspelled “coverage” due to his small hands but I believe that it’s actually a secret message that you need to decode. While Trump is known for his subtweeting, this isn’t one of his normal “This is fake news. I won the election. I’m awesome and you not” tweets. Don’t let him fool you because this is some secret hidden message.  Sure, it makes so much more sense to believe that “coverage” but that’s letting Trump win. I spent hours upon hours looking at the sentence structure and have come up with two theories on it.

Theory 1

Donald Trump used covfefe as a positive message to his supports. This one is probably less likely but it’s a theory because Trump hates using punctuation besides periods, which is very ironic. But let’s not get into this. Here’s how I think it should look like with punctuation:

Despite the constant negative press, covfefe!

Covfefe in use as something like “struggle on” or “power through.” It just to uplifted and tell everyone that it’s okay and everything is running smooth. I expect Donald Trump to continue on with the select messages with their true meanings leaking very soon because everything in the White House leaks lately. Secrets, the pipes, you name it and it has leaked there. Probably even the shower.

Theory 2

I’m pretty sure that the covfefe tweet was actually a text message to the Putin but Trump hit the wrong app on his phone. According to the Associated Press, Trump told world leaders to contact him on his personal number because that sounds like he’s not covering anything up. So Putin has his personal number and Trump was letting him know that everything was going to plan. Also, the tweet has no structure which fit well with the overall lack of structure in text messages in today’s society.

Covfefe is a term that is used to confirm that the plan is in place and it’s ready for the next phase. I believe that Covfefe is rather the plan name. It stands for

Confuse

Overturn

Victory

Falsify

Execute

Foreign

Exterminate

Covfefe is the overall plot to make sure Trump won the election. If you follow the outline of the plan’s name, we are currently on Falsify. We only have three phases left. Who knows what we will have in store in the other phases.

Covfefe isn’t something to be cherished but rather something to be worried about. Sure, we all hope it was a stupid mistake but what if that’s Trump wants you to believe that in order to hide the true nature of covfefe. Also, you know it’s a bad sign when your device doesn’t try to fix covfefe.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more sarcastic things. 

Veronica Mars and the case of Donald Trump and the Russians

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Normally, I don’t like to get political on here but this shit is way too juicy not to discuss because it just keeps getting better and better. It’s so good at this point, everyone is thinking that this is a conspiracy/government cover-up. And since the lead investigator has been fired, I think it’s time to visit someone who could help America figure this out. Someone that doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty. It’s time to enlist the help of Veronica Mars.

So the Director of the FBI, James Comey, was fired yesterday and this just sent up a bunch of red flags. Comey was in charge of the investigation into the Russians involvement in the 2016 Presidential Election. I’m not going get into the investigation because we’ll be here all night. Literally, it’s a lot of info. The reason he was fired was because of the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails. This would end up contradicting everything Donald Trump’s campaign and supporters have said during and after his election. Like, who did they really think would believe that Donald Trump of all people would fire someone for the investigating Hillary’s emails? But hey, according to Kellyanne Conway, who has been found on CNN, these are just “alternative facts.” There’s a lot of conspiracy theories about this but I’m not going to mention them because I don’t want to disappear.

This has started what I’m calling “The Media War of 2017” because both parties are on the defense and taking to political shows to argue their parties points. The majority of one side just wants to push it under the rug because “fake news” is trying to turn the world against them. The other side wants to hire a special investigator to take over this case which will lead them to be “swimming with the fishes.” This is just literally insane because there’s a new twist or turn. It is kind of like this is a reality show. It’s like “The Apprentice” mixed in with “Survivor” and “Big Brother.” You don’t know what’s going to happen next which makes it’s slightly exciting from an entertainment point and fucking scary because it’s real life with big implications.

Because of this, I think it’s time for US government to hire Veronica Mars as the special investigate.Yes, I know what she’s a fictional character but this whole situation sounds like something off of “House of Cards.” Anyways, Veronica Mars would solve this case. She has a brilliant track history as a Private Investigator. She solved two murder cases before she turned 18 years old and got her license, she also has a law degree. She’s also been trapped inside an empty refrigerator as it was on fire, so there’s pretty much nothing that really scares her. Hiring Veronica would be the safest bet for finding out who will help figure out what’s going on. Mars will uncover the truth, especially if there is a cover up and it looks like there is one…allegedly.

Here’s to Veronica Mars saving us all with her skills and her sass:

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for the sake of the world.