‘John Tucker Must Die’ is the one for your teenage dreams

I’ve been on a teen movie kick lately. Rewatching the movies I grew up on has and watched back in the day. So I decided to grab some popcorn and watch probably what is one of the most underrated teen movies of the 2000s.

When you see my face, hope it give you hell

Released in 2006, “John Tucker Must Die” was directed by Betty Thomas. She gave us “The Brady Bunch Movie,” the Eddie Murphy version of “Dr. Doolittle,” and “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.” More proof that everybody can’t make good movies all the time. The movie itself actually has a good cast. It stars Jesse Metcalfe (Desperate Housewives), Brittany Snow (Hairspray), Ashanti (She tried to have a music career), Arielle Kebbel (The Vampire Diaries), and Penn Badgley (Gossip Girl). The movie was some of their first light in the sun.

the most iconic scene from the movie

The movie follows a group of girls from different clique when end up dating the same popular jock named John Tucker like I had to literally tell you that. His name is in the movie title. After figuring this out, they decided to get revenge on John Tucker by taking the new girl in school and having her break his heart.

As a teen, I thought that this movie was everything. As an adult, this movie wasn’t as good as I originally thought it was. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed the movie. But it just wasn’t that as good as when I originally saw it. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact the movie didn’t age that well. Like the plot is similar to ‘Mean Girls’ in a sense. A group team to get revenge on an individual that has wrong them or is just a dick. The movie itself is still underrated. It’s doesn’t get enough respect that it should. I mean, it gives more of a modern twist on the revenge plot. But it should be listed on the Top 50 teen comedies.

The acting in the movie is meh. It’s not horribly bad but its nothing that will get them an academy award. For most of them, it was around their first acting job. It’s a teen movie, most people don’t expect for Oscar award-winning acting. Sometimes it felt like forced acting and it didn’t click. Other times it was rather good.

Verdict

“John Tucker Must Die” is your average teen movie. It’s underrated and a classic. It still remains that even with its downfalls. The acting is meh with it failing to click in times that it needed to click. The parts of the movie didn’t age well but it still presented a more modern take on the team revenge plot.

Rating: 3 out of 5

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Forever Alone February continues with ‘Dear John’

It’s February and it’s a month of love. So every Friday in February, I’ll be watching and reviewing classic romantic movies throughout the month. So let’s celebrate love in honor of Valentine’s Day. Welcome to Forever Alone February. Didn’t expect that titled now did you?

It’s time to continue on the love movie train and talk about an popular movie that is pretty much a staple of everyone library. Literally because it was a book before it was an actual movie. Let’s talk about a Nicholas Sparks movie. You can’t have a month of love movies without a Nicholas Sparks movie.

Letter 525,600

“Dear John” was released in January of 2014. It was the 4th Nicholas Sparks novel to be turned into a film. As of February 2019, there have been 11 Nicholas Sparks novels turned into movies. “Dear John” was directed by Lasse Hallström. He’s the Swedish mind behind all the video for a little Swedish pop group named ABBA. He also directed “Safe Haven,” “The Nutcracker and the Four Realms,” and “The Cider House Rules.” The movie stars Channing Tatum (“Magic Mike” and “Step it Up”) and Amanda Seyfried (“Mamma Mia!” and “Mean Girls”).

The movie follows two people in starting in 2001. Staff Sergeant John Tyree (Tatum) returns home on leave and meets college student Savannah Curtis (Seyfried) and have a two week whirlwind of romance. Once they return to real life, they take their love to letters as they have a long distance relationship through their letters.

I have some thought on this movie. Having only seen one other Nicholas Sparks movie and that is “The Last Song.” My knowledge of these movies is limited. I can see why people truly love “Dear John.” It’s a romantic movie. But like, they all can’t be this bad. To a certain extent, the movie itself has its merits. Channing and Amanda did an amazing job with what they were given. They were the best part of the entire movie. They did well together and you can tell that they really tried to make it work.

The story is good but there’s nothing really to it. The entire movie just comes off as really generic. It was rather boring because I just couldn’t get into the story. The characters should have been just called John Doe and Jane Moe. Like there wasn’t anything there to make you want to connect with the characters. When there was, it was towards the end of the moving and that’s only because someone died and all the emotion, what little there was, came to the surface. The worst part of the entire movie is the ending. I’m not going to spoil it because the title already does that but like this isn’t how romance movies are supposed to end. The entire movie just felt like a letdown. The movie is perfect if you are looking to hook up with someone and don’t care about the plot.

The production on the movie wasn’t bad. Some of the details were good but then other times they were not so good. Like I really didn’t know that this movie started in 2001. It wasn’t until they had 9/11 take place that it truly felt like it was in that time frame.

Let’s Review Channing Tatum

It’s the time in the review where I review Channing Tatum. I’ll be reviewing him on his hotness and his performance in the movie. Let’s get one thing straight. Channing Tatum could be a playing a corpse and it would be a hot corpse. But on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being good, I’d probably rate him a 7. His character is super attractive but like, it would be more attractive if there was more to him. As I said, it’s just generic character. It’s like dating someone for the looks and then once you break up that you get to see a little bit more of a personality. I wish there was just more to the character.

Verdict

“Dear John” isn’t the movie that I would recommend to watch unless you are looking for a movie to hook up during. It’s just too generic and doesn’t really make you feel any sort of emotion until about the end of the movie. Even then, that feeling is angry because the ending sucks. It’s anti-climatic and feels like a major let down.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

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Sweetwater Tea Episode 7: Bizarrodale

Listen up fives, a ten is speaking and I’m in the mood for some chaos. Sorry to interrupt, sad breakfast club. Are we still in Riverdale? Hiram and A have seemed to have made peace, Hermikins is a drug dealer, and Ronnie has turned into a sassier version of Daddykins. But one thing has stayed the same: Betty Cooper is a still a nosey bitch. Welcome to Sweetwater Tea.

Don’t look so judgemental, V. You’re secrets will soon be out.

Click here to read the last week edition of Sweetwater Tea

Between 2 closets

Welcome Back, HBIC

While Valentine’s Day is a week away, love was in the water here in the town with pep and someone was feeling like being Cupid Bombshell this week. That’s right ladies and Kevin Keller, Cheryl Majorie Blossom has donned her HBIC pearls once again. No one was ready for the Bombshell that she would be dropping. Even I was shaken by the tea she brought. One person who wasn’t was her lover. Turns out that T pulled out her lady balls out C’s iconic clutch and gave her a piece of her mind. All it took was Cheryl publically outing Moosiekins and throwing her privilege to make Tonikins put the HBIC in her place. And they had their first fight in the Girl’s bathroom too. How 90’s teen drama.

Turns out there was a softer side of Cherylkins. And with this softer side, we got a show Bravo talk show with Cheryl and Kevin. While they talked about love and Kevin’s love for closet cases, it shockingly didn’t end with them kissing nor with C giving K a fashion makeover. Les-be-honest, K needs one. C and T even team up for a little destruction as they drag Mommy Whorest to her knees. A place she’s used to. Turns out when you screw with Cheryl’s future, she gets out the whip. Sounds like the S&M runs in the family. C even gets Toni her own little gang. Nothing says love like getting your girlfriend a gang. Kinky. If I was the serpents, I’d watch out for the Choni and their gang of temperamental bitches. Pretty Poisons are their name and they are out for blood.

Mason Family Values

Are you there, God? Has hell frozen over Riverdale again? My cold heart shed a tear as Moose Mason finally had the balls to admit to his father to that he likes Kevin, who is apparently not a female. It looked like Keviekins was finally going to get loved. They even decided to break into the sex bunker in their own reboot called “Brokeback Riverdale.” It’s just too bad that anything but sex happened in the bunker. I was so waiting to watch that reboot too.

You’re not the only one shocked to see Moosiekins leave his closet, K

Turns out that the Mason family keeps all their secrets in basement instead of their closets. Mr. Mason turned into the biggest cockblocker of all time. Not only did he block his own son, but he also blocked every teen in Riverdale. Minus Archie….Archie was saving it for Keviekins. Again, a girl can dream. Turns out that Mr. Mason had a thing for Daddy Keller. Can you really blame him on that one? But unlike his son, he was sent to Our Sisters of Mercy and Murder. Apparently, Granddaddy Mason wanted Mr. M to “pray the gay away” with the Gargoyle King. Those bitches.

In order to prevent his son from losing his V card, and to prevent Daddy Keller from marrying anyone but him, he went extra as fuck. Mr. M reunited The Midnight Club as a distraction to raid the bunker and forced Koose to play a kinky game of G&G. Apparently, we have been playing it wrong this whole time. Before anyone could get the poison, the HBIC came in with a SWAT time to save the day. Mr. M thought he and his brainwashed RROTC could scare the gay out of Moose. But the only thing he would pray away will be Big Johnny.

Sadly, this is Riverdale after. Did you really think Kevin would get a happy ever after? While Mr. Mason is living out his fantasy of a prison threesome with Hal Cooper and Penelope Blossom, Moosiekins is heading out of town to stay with his aunt. If you are worried about Keviekins, don’t worry. He was spotted sulking in Fox Forest while swiping right on Bumble. Doesn’t he know that Grindr is more his speed for what happens in Fox Forest?

Love, Riverdale Style

Let’s take a pause from the tea, to give you some breaking news. This tea is just too hot not to spill. Apparently, little Josie McCoy likes to shop in the dark and brooding part of Bed, Bath and Beyond. During the summer, Josiekins had the thing for Sweet Pea. Scandalous that the former mayor’s daughter once had a thing for the kid from the wrong side of the tracks. I wonder if J went through the other scents too. I hear that daddy Fangs, aka cucumber melon, is one with a bite. Any girl would be lucky to catch that serpent. Just ask Midge…oh wait. Now, back to our regularly scheduled tea.

Josie in the City

Seems like our little Pussycat has her claw set into the Big Apple. Turns out that Josiekins had an audition with Julliard. Oh J, did you really think you could get into The Julliard School with only having long tail and ears for hats under your belt? Or did you think your experience in one musical could get you into a performing art school like Julliard?

While J didn’t get into Julliard, she did get into a certain red-headed mouth. Sorry Cheryl, but it wasn’t you. After singing a duet, she and Archiekins were seen kissing in a well-aimed spotlight. Let me be the first to welcome Josiekins into the Lips of Riverdale. Everyone has kissed everyone…well, minus Kevin. There’s still time for that for Keviekins. But it seems like everyone falls for Archie and his wonder abs.

Veggie Drug Tales

You’re Welcome

Oh, Ronniekins, did you really think you’re little plan wouldn’t have a consequence? It’s not Daddykins you are dealing with, after all. Turns out Hermikins still owes her dealer some money. And instead of enlisting her team, she punishes Ronnie and her boy-toy with abs to come up with a plan to get it back. It seems like Hiram didn’t teach Hermione how to be a sexy crime lord.

The Drug Dealer turns out to be Juggiekins’ mommy. While she might be a BILF, she’s at least a BILF with a big heart. Gladys took pity on Veggie and gave them more time to get her the money she needs. Was it really out of the kindness of her heart? Or is Gladykins looking to sink her teeth into something bigger than just some petty drug money? Oh Hermione, If I was you, I’d leave all the business ventures to Hiram and Ronnie. Especially since it appears you opened a can of worms that you cannot close.

While things seem to be cooling down for Valentine’s day in our little town, you’re about to get a heatwave. It’s going to get hot and heavy and not in a good way. What do Miss FP and her daughter Jolly Rancher have up their sleeve now that they are back in town? It seems like the Lodge empire is getting ready to come crashing down around the first family of Riverdale. I wonder how Daddykins will get himself out of the mess that his lovely wife has gotten them into. Grab your daddy cane and daddy fur coat Hiram, because you need to keep warm once you are living in the street. Oh, and what happened to Falice? I wonder if it has to do with Edgar Neverever, who might be Edgar Alwaysever if you know what I mean. Until next time, kiddos: if you breathe, it is because I give you air.

P.S. Just because this tea party is over, doesn’t mean we can’t have another. Follow me, Sweetwater Bombshell, on Twitter. If you thought this tea was good, then you haven’t seen anything yet.

Get ready for Amanda Bynes’ gift in ‘She’s The Man’

Since Amanda Bynes has recently returned into our culture and looking I might add, I thought it was time that we looked into the past and her filmography go back to the gift that she has given us that we haven’t properly thanked her for. What is that gift you may ask? CHANNING. FUCKING. TATUM. Let’s just get into the review of “She’s The Man.”

we all know the reason this gif is here

Inside every girl, there’s a boy

“She’s The Man” was released in March of 2006. It was directed by Andy Fickman, who gave the world “The Game Plan,” “Race to Witch Mountain,” and “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.” Sigh. The movie stars Amanda Bynes (Your Childhood and “What I Like About You”) and Channing Tatum (Your mother’s closet and “Magic Mike”). This was one of Channing Tatum’s big breaks in the early to mid-2000s. Besides “Step Up” that came out in the same year, this was our real first look at the man that would literally be in everyone with a pulse’s dream. The movie is also based off of the Shakespearean play “Twelfth Night.” A lot of people thing that it’s based off on the 1985 teen movie “Just One of the Guys.” It’s not, it’s just based off of the same play. Less nudity.

This wasn’t a scene in the movie. They just shot this for “promotion.”

The movie follows Olivia as she tries to get revenge on her former high school’s boy soccer team and her hot yet douchy boyfriend. The school cut the funded the girl’s team and the sexist coach refused to let them try out. So Olivia decides to pose as her twin brother and attend his new school, which happens to the rival school. The movie follows Olivia as she tries to fit in with her new teammates while also trying to get her new hot roommate to fall in love with her.

When I watched this movie back as an adult, it wasn’t as funny as I remember it to be. In fact, I’m not really sure why I thought so fondly of it. I still think it’s a good movie but it’s honestly just not as good as I remember it to be. Could it have been because a 14 years old version of me was just interested in Channing Tatum and watched anything that Amanda Bynes did? The world may never know. But what I do know is that this movie wasn’t ‘All That.’ Get it?

The acting in it was okay. It wasn’t horrible but yet it wasn’t anything that would win an Oscar. Amanda Bynes was probably the best in the film just because comedy and situationally comedy is her strong point. She really tried her best. But like I said, there was no real breakout acting. I mean, Channing Tatum did a great job with then limited acting experience. But it was your average teen romantic comedy acting.

Left: Amanda as her Brother
Right: Amanda as Olivia

The production on the film was actually pretty good. It was on par with other movies out at the time. It wasn’t anything too exciting but yet it wasn’t anything over the top. I was just your average 2000s teen movie. The message behind the movie is still extremely powerful and relevant. It wasn’t something that is overly empowering but it still gives you a message about gender stereotypes and breaking those barriers.

Now I thought about rating Channing Tatum on how was in the film both by performance wise and hotness but that would be rating a baby seal on how adorable it is. We all know it’s adorable so why state the obvious?

Verdict

“She’s The Man” is an okay movie. It’s nothing too special but yet it’s nothing too great. It’s just kind of there for teen movies. Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum give the best performances in the movie. Because this movie is in her wheel house, and she’s the star, Amanda is the highlight of the entire movie. I do recommend watching it as the message is still a good and relevant message. “She’s The Man” is the perfect rainy day movie or if there isn’t anything else on.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5

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