Nostalgia Review: ‘Full House’

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Oh, Mylanta!

In case you have been living under a rock for the last couple of weeks, the majority of your favorite sitcoms from the 1990s have made it onto the glorious platform that is known as Hulu. I’ll give you a moment to fangirl the fuck out right now. Ready to continue? Okay, good. So I decided that I’m going to dive into them a review to see if they are still as enjoyable as I remember. Please note that most of these shows I’ve seen in syndication and not as they aired. I was under the age of 10 when most of these shows came out. To kick us off, let’s go talk about “Full House.”

“Full House” is a hit or miss show for many and I can honestly see why after binge-watching all eight season of it. It small two episode doses, it’s honestly not bad at all. But when you are watching in a binge, “Full House” eats your soul away with how cheesy and campy it can be at times.

“Full House” follows the same plot like most sitcoms in the late 1980s and early 1990s. A single parent, whose spouse died, struggles to raise children of the opposite gender. “Full House” changes it up by changing the formula. Three single guys raising three girls of different ages. This plot is followed heavily in the early seasons, especially in the first season, but is pretty much abandoned in the later seasons for just revolving around everyone life until the end.

The first and second season are probably the hardest to watch. It’s not bad, but rather just boring and long. The episodes just drag because the story isn’t that interesting or sometimes just rather dumb. It does get better as the series goes on but the storytelling issues are still pleasant. The show is also too corny and cheesy at times for its own good. It’s actually unbearable at times but I’m guessing it’s because of the age of the show. The strongest seasons are the last two. They told the best and most interesting stories. The show didn’t drag and it was a healthy amount of corn and cheese.

The breakout stars of the show were Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, also known as Mary Kate Ashley Olsen for literally all of the show besides the last season. I can see why because they literally stole every scene they were in with their cuteness and charm. This is the part where I feel like I’m going to get the most hate. I did not like the character of Michelle Tanner until the later part of the series. The scenes she was in weren’t nothing to cry home about. In the early episodes, you can tell that they spliced her lines with the rest of the scenes because it was a wide shot then a jump cut to her then back to the wide shot. Sometimes, the actions between the two scenes were completely different and noticeable.

Overall, I enjoy “Full House” and I recommend it to anyone that is looking to watch wholesome, good-natured, family fun. I don’t recommend binge watching it because it will ruin the show for it. It’s better in small doses.

Rating: 3 out of 5

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Movie Review: ‘The Unauthorized Full House Story’

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Well, it’s time again for another “unauthorized” lifetime movie that will “show the dirt” on “Full House”, the beloved television sitcom that still airs on every family network known to man, and some known to apes.  Going into this movie, I had very little expectations due to the past lifetime movie like this that showed us how twisted Dustin Diamonds mind is because “no one liked him.”

Well, it wasn’t as bad as that but it may have been worse because it’s was boring as hell and hard to watch because it looked like they were trying to be an exact replica of “Full House” but at the same was trying to be it. The set looked like they have never saw the show before and just decided to “wing it,” some of the aspects of the movie didn’t feel like it was in the same era that it should have happened. Some of outfits, styles, among other things, just felt like they modernized it. It was off-putting because most of the time, I was wondering if they really had it during this time. Another thing that bother me was the fact they just spit in the face of the “Full House” continuum. When Mary Kate & Ashley Oslen started the show, they were babies and not toddlers  They were pretty much toddlers for most of the movie.  Also, where were the catchphrases?

If you had watched the E! True Hollywood Story on the show, then there is no need to watch this movie. The movie was pretty much a wast of time. E! True Hollywood Story at least involved the real cast and didn’t just take a big crap on the show. This was just a marketing ploy to get more ratings.

 

Rating: .5  full houses out of 5

You’re drunk, Lifetime–go home!

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Last Week, Lifetime decided that they were going to get in on the Full House pandemonium and release the first cast picture of their Full House movie. Boy, the casting director was drunk when they casted because none of the cast looks like what their real life counterparts looks like. Here’s the picture of the lifetime cast:

They look like bad toy knock off versions. I get that Lifetime was trying, I really do, but they really should have tried a bit hard. Like way harder. Joey looks like that creepy uncle that you don’t want to leave your children with because he likes to get touchy, Jesse’s wig looks like an animal crawled onto of his head and just died, and let’s not talk about Danny because he looks like he likes to “hug” the cradle.

Pretty much, they pretty much casted a random group of people and then realized afterwards that the actors have to look like the original cast. It doesn’t seem that hard to cast lookalikes but yet Lifetime finds a way to screw it up.

I cannot wait to watch this train wreck when it premieres in August 22 at 8 p.m. I hope it’s just as bad as their Saved By the Bell movie. Never mind, nothing can be worse than a movie told by the point of view of Dustin Diamond.

 

You might get us, dude!

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The little girl with the very long name that turned out to be twins is actually considering reprising her role as the precocious and sassy Michelle Tanner. That’s right! Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are thinking about strapping up their overalls and pulling up their hair into pigtail for the Full House sequel “Fuller House.”

Funny story about this spin-off: Apparently the Twin Moguls had no clue about the special and the sequel. Ashley was rather shocked that they didn’t hear about it sooner.

“I ran into Bob [Saget] the other day and we didn’t even talk about it. I’m shocked I haven’t heard from John [Stamos].”

I don’t find it shocking that the twins didn’t hear about the “Full House” because when was the last time you seen them photography with the rest of the cast? I feel like the secluded themselves from the rest of the cast. I hope that both, or even just one of them, do the sequel because it would just be the greatest thing ever to have all the original cast back in some way, shape or form.  It would totally be the best thing since slice bread.