A letter for Coming Out Day

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Dear closeted LGBTQA+,

Today is National Coming Out Day. For many, coming out is way to finally express yourself without hiding who you are. Everyone should have the ability to be themselves without fear. Hiding who you are isn’t fun nor something that will make you happy. Being yourself, regardless of orientation or gender, is the best thing in the world.

Just because it’s Coming Out Day doesn’t mean you have to come out. Coming out is something that you should do when you feel you are ready. I believe that coming out to yourself is the hardest part, and the most important, of accepting yourself. You gotta accept yourself before you can expect anyone else to accept you. Accepting yourself takes time. It happens over time and at your own pace. You shouldn’t ever feel rushed when it comes to accepting yourself. Also, don’t come pair yourself to others. For some people, it was easy. For you, it might not be. Everyone experiences will different in life, and this is the same.

When you are ready to come out, the feeling that you get is something you cannot describe. It’s a mixture of relief and happiness. The movie “Love, Simon” explained it best when Simon’s mom said he can finally “breathe.” You can finally be yourself. There’s no more hiding if you find someone attractive nor if you want to do something that isn’t considered to be “cool.”  Coming out will open up so many more doors for you.

If you don’t feel comfortable or can’t safely come out, don’t. You can still enjoy life. Don’t put your life at risk. Also remember that even when it seems like there isn’t anyone on your side or you feel alone, you are not. There are many people who will like you for you. Don’t change yourself for others. If anyone doesn’t like you because of who love, you don’t need them. There are plenty of people in the world that will like you for you. Even if they are family, you don’t need them. They are plenty of people who will support you even if your family won’t.

Hopefully you find this letter helpful. Just remember to take your time and have faith. As corny as it sounds, it does get better over time. And if you are having issues or questions or hard times, there are plenty of resources out there like the Trevor Project. Until you do come out, use this day to be an ally to anyone that might need it. You might meet someone that could be in the same boat as you.

Stay positive and be you,

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Steven Kaufman

 

 

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Sexuality isn’t a trait that you just bring up to describe people

Ignorance, the root and stem of all evil.

Frankly, I’m not really sure how to write this. I never really thought I would have to write something like this. I’m going to try to keep this tame and polite. I want this to be a little more serious. I probably will still make a few jokes and spill some tea. But this deserved to be a bit more serious than what is usually on this blog.

Someone ignorantly decided to use what they believe my sexuality to be as a trait to describe me to someone. Before I get into how insanely wrong this is, let me set the stage for you. A return customer at the place I work in came up to my coworker looking for me. My coworker didn’t know who they were talking about so they decide to describe my dress code with high emphasis on what they assumed my sexuality was. Keep in mind, I’ve only helped them once and they don’t even know me. I was even nice enough to answer all their questions and just give quality customer service the last time they stopped in. But regardless of whether they are right or wrong, it should have never ever have happened

Someone’s sexuality is an extremely important part of them. But it’s just a small piece what makes them up. By bringing it up like that, it just shows how what you really care when you are talking to someone. There are plenty of things you can bring up besides sexuality. There’s hair color, facial hair, hair style, eyes color, etc. Why would bring up something like when you don’t see it? It’s not like it’s written on our faces or anywhere on our bodies. I don’t know about you but I was never taught to use that to describe people. I don’t remember asking “Is he gay?” when playing “Guess Who.” That’s just you being ignorant.

By bringing it up, that also means you are following sexuality stereotypes and you are labeling people based on those stereotypes or what you feel is a representation of that sexuality. Think about how you would feel if this happened to you. If you are from the south, does that mean that you are racist? No, because anyone can be a racist. The same goes for sexuality. You don’t need to wear flannel and steel-toed boots to be a lesbian. You also don’t need to be overly flamboyant to be gay. What give you the right to decide a strangers sexuality based on stereotypes? Just because my voice isn’t that deep or some of my mannerism isn’t what you believe to be “masculine,” doesn’t give you the right to judge me.

Someone’s sexuality isn’t even your business. It’s their choice who knows and how they let them know. Unless they bring it up, keep you don’t need to assume that you can just tell someone’s sexuality. My mother always says “When one assumes, you make an ass out of you and me.” If they don’t tell you or bring it up, just keep your suspicions to yourself. Like I said, it’s their choice if or when they want you to know. Knowing someone’s sexuality means they trust you and feel like you won’t be one of the many ignorant people in this world that will judge them for something they have no control over. They didn’t have any control that they were born whatever sexuality they are. But you do have control on being ignorant, and frankly, a bigot. Don’t worry, you can stop being ignorant. Like I said, you can control that.

This is the nice version of what I wanted to say. Believe me, I had other choice words. Moral of the story is don’t let your ignorance or sheer lack of decency stop you from seeing the whole person . Someone’s sexuality just makes up a small part of who they are. Don’t let that be the only thing you see and judge someone on that. Judge their character, not who they want to love. Of course, if you are ignorant, they wouldn’t want you to see the real them anyways. Nobody got time for ignorant people. I know that I don’t.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more tea.

‘Love,Simon’ hits your heart in all the right places and it’s everything

It’s time for straight not to be the default

This movie review is going to be a bit different from the past ones. I’m going to try my best to be balanced but honestly, It’s rather hard. Everyone deserves a great love story, and here it is. Especially if you don’t see yourself in the ones that are usually presented by television or movies.

Love, Simon

“Love, Simon” is a 2018 romantic comedy based on the book “Simon vs the Homo Sapien Agenda” by Becky Albertalli (Click the book title for my review of the book.) Directed by Greg Berlanti, who wrote and produced CW’s shows like “Arrow,” “Riverdale,” and “The Flash,” the movie is the first major studio film that features gay teenage romance.

The movie follows Simon Spier, a closeted gay teen who meet another closeted gay teen in his school online. The two began an online relationship hidden from his family and friends. His life gets turned upset down when a classmate blackmailed Simon with screenshots of his online relationship. Simon must then chose whether to follow through with the demands or to have his world cave in around him before he is ready. 

The movie is brilliantly told. As someone who read the book before seeing the movie, it follows it almost plot the same as the book did. There are some instances where they add to the plot because it’s a movie. When it does, It adds more depth to the story and allows things to be fleshed out more. The ending of the movie is actually more epic than what was in the book.

The acting is extremely good in this movie. The characters are likable, minus the ones you aren’t supposed to like. Simon is probably the best character out of them all. You can’t help but love Simon. Nick Robinson did an extremely well job portraying Simon. My only complaint with acting was that Katherine Langford’s natural Australian accent came through at times and it was obvious. She did an amazing job but I’m probably just nitpicking a bit.

It was extremely refreshing to see a non stereotypically gay character. While they are getting better, most gay characters in TV/Movies have been some sort of stereotypes. The overly flamboyant gay guy, the self-hating gay guy, etc. There’s many of them and frankly, they exist but it wasn’t everyone. Simon Spier isn’t any of those stereotypes. He is just guy trying to figure out who is he. He just happens to be gay. He’s representing the people who couldn’t see themselves in a character before this. “Love, Simon” has allowed many people to finally see themselves in a movie character and relate to them.

The Verdict

“Love, Simon” is a quality teen romantic comedy. It’s not just a movie for LGBT, but something for anyone that want to see a good love story. “Love, Simon” will be the first of many movies that will finally allow more people to see themselves in the things they watch. Like the movie says, everyone deserves a great love story. It was about time that they got one. “Love, Simon” is that movie.

“Love, Simon” is still in theaters. It will out digital on May 29th and DVD/Blu-Ray on June 12th.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more tea.

Book review: ‘Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda’

Everyone needs deserves to have a great love story

I’m still just snatching Oprah’s edges. Welcome to the second ever edition of The Pop Project Book Club. It’s where I read a book and then I tell you whether you should read or not. Because the release of “Love, Simon” is coming up in the near future, I thought that I would read the book that it is based on of “Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda.”

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE TRAILER FOR ‘LOVE, SIMON’

“Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda” is about Simon Spier, a 16-year old who is in the closet. Simon starts an online relationship with a fellow student at his school who is also in the closet. The book follows Simon as he balances his friends, family, coming to terms with his sexuality, and his online relationship. Things turn upside down when a classmate blackmail him and threatens to out him and his online relationship.

The book is extremely well written. It’s all told through the perspective of Simon. It’s easy to read and done an extremely conversational way. The chapters are short and sweet with some just being the email between Simon and his “boyfriend,” who is under the name “Blue.” It got extremely addicting because you just want to know more about what’s going on. You get invested into Simon and Blue’s relationship and want to know what happens next.

I got the feels throughout the entire book. Like, I have never read a book and been into so much. It might have been that I could relate throughout the book but I was emotionally invested into the characters and the book. Simon’s story was told in such a true way. It wasn’t something that seemed unrealistic. The book didn’t beat around the bush on somethings and it tackled everything in a way that a lot of the teen television shows don’t really show with their homosexual characters.

It was rather refreshing to have a love story that wasn’t a girl falling for a guy. That kind of love story is just one-sided and over done. The one told in “Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda” is unique and we need more love stories like it. I want more guys falling in love with other guys. It’s just as normal as a girl falling for a guy.

Verdict:

I highly recommend reading “Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda.” It was an extremely good book. My only complaint was that it was too short. I wanted more. I wanted more letters and to know what happened with Simon and Blue, as well as their friends and family.

If you are looking to get a copy of the book, click here to grab one. It’s honestly worth it. “Love, Simon” will out in theaters on March 16, 2018. But you really should read the book and see the movie. Here’s the trailer. I swear this isn’t sponsored…unless they would like to hit me up to make it sponsored.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter so you can judge me everyday, bro!