The real meaning behind celebrating Cinco de Mayo

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

Today is Cinco de Mayo. For most people in America, They will be getting wasted and shitfaced because they just believe that is what the day is all about. In case you didn’t know, it’s not about drinking. Today, I’m going to break it down it down for you because you should at least know what you are getting wasted for. 

Now, don’t worry. I’m not going to get all history class on you. This is just a brief rundown. I’m also researching this but I’m still sorry if I get anything wrong with the facts. So let’s just get this out-of-the-way now: Cinco de Mayo isn’t Mexican Independence Day. That day is actually on September 16 and kicks off Hispanic Heritage Month, which is September 15 through October 15.

Cinco de Mayo is actually the celebration of the Battle of Puebla. This occurred when the French invaded Mexico in hopes of taking it over. Outnumbered by the French, the citizens of Puebla defeated the French and prevented them from heading towards Mexico City until a year later.

The day isn’t really celebrated in Mexico. The most that will happen is that they don’t have work or school that day. It’s not like a super big holiday. It’s actually more celebrate here in the US. Here, it’s more about the celebration of Mexican culture. There is a countless number of events in major cities that have allowed people to experience all the wonderful things in Mexican culture they normally wouldn’t be able to.

I hope that this helps you understand more about why you care to get drunk today. If you are getting drunk, please do it responsibly.

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more tea.

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Let’s go build a wall, today

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the-wall-donald Trump

Donld is right…it’s going to be HUGGGE

Sigh. Looks like we need to talk more about Trump

On Tuesday night, Donald Trump tweeted out the following:

As planned out during his campaign, which I think a lot of us thought he was joking, President Trump and his team, Cirque du Trump, said that he was going to build a legitimate wall separating the United States and Mexico. The kicker is that Mexico is going to pay for it. This has me intrigued and here’s why.

I really want to see why how Trump talks another country into paying for a wall that is pretty much cutting them off from the US. That would take some clever wordplay and psychology-something that Trump isn’t really known for. I also don’t think he realizes how much this wall is going to cost. According to the Telegraph (sorry that I had to outsource), the wall is going to be roughly 1,900 miles and span four states. That’s going be a lot of money. Especially when you take the exchange rate into mind. They are saying that it will be around $8 billion. While that’s not a lot of Trump, that could pretty much bankrupt a country if they aren’t run by Trump.

In his inauguration speech, President Trump said: “We must protect our borders from the ravages of other countries making our products, stealing our companies and destroying our jobs.” So how is building a wall stopping Mexican’s from making our products? It’s not like we are building sometime top-secret that anyone can’t make. They really can’t steal our companies or destroy our jobs either. If you have the Mexican government pay for the wall, won’t they be using their own workforce to build the wall. That will steal jobs from Americans though. Seems like that’s the opposite of what you said.

The real question about the wall is whether it is going to have a food court. Let’s be real: that wall is a tourist attraction. It better has some damn good food. I also want a freaking mall of goods and services. I want to be able to say Hola! and grab some Orange Julius with some amigos with a big wall between us. Is that so hard to ask? It’s going to be HUUUUUGGGGEEE!

If we build a wall to keep Mexico out, then we might as build one for Canada and the merpeople. I thought about the United States needing a wall for Russian but then I remembered about Sarah Palin having it covered by watching them from her compound because she can see them from her backyard. Who needs board control when you have Sarah Palin? Back to Canadians and merpeople. Those pesky and polite Canadians have already taken away jobs with their delicious Tim Hortons. Let’s not forgot about all the talented and attractive Canadian entertainers that have taken jobs from their less talented American counterparts who think they are the next big thing. What else will this talented and polite country take from America, eh?

The merpeople are vicious creatures. Their women are vixens and seduce American men into marriage every day. Did you know that one in five American males is to be seduced by a mermaid every day? I bet you didn’t. Did also you know that one in seven women is to be seduced by a merman? Those are chilling statistics. Ariel seduced Eric just so she can be a legal citizen. Then her people attack the country when her daughter went missing. These are the alternative facts people. We need to act now before American sons/daughters fall for a mermaid/merman and take away a significant other from an American.

All in all, let’s see what becomes of this wall. And if the wall doesn’t happen, we’ll just move Sarah Palin down to the Mexican border to watch over it since Donald Trump seems to be in good with the Vladmir Putin. The Russians are under control. But we need to work fast to stop the merpeople and the polite and pesky Canadians. They are the real danger.

 

Have an opinion on the wall? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject.