Pop Project Favorite Things 2019

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. The holiday season is upon us and now it’s time for my favorite thing: making Oprah Winfrey cry in her stately manor with Gayle wiping away her tears with $100 bills. IT’S THE POP PROJECT FAAVVVORRRITTEE THIIINNGGGSSS!!! Like every year, please read that in your best Oprah voice. I know that you’ve been waiting all year for this and frankly, it’s well deserved.

Past Favorite things: 2016|2017|2018

I’m coming for you Oprah!

So without further ado, let’s dive into what exactly my favorite things are. Like last year, I’m a broke-ass bitch, so I am unable to give these out for free. There would be a master list but I’m that broke of a bitch and I lost that ability. We know who is responsible for that. But I’m not too broke to give you the most excellent list of 2019. If I was Oprah Gail Winfrey, yes that is her real middle name, I’d grab a box of tissues and Gayle now. She’s going to be 100% shook by my list.

Sex Bops

I don’t know about you but I’m living for the number of sex bops that we have gotten in 2019. I wish I could name some of them but there were too many to keep track of. If you have been living under a rock, a sex bop is a good song that makes you want to dance and also screw someone. Pretty much, it’s a song that’s going to make you want to grind your genitals up against someone else in the club. Or experience a sexual awakening. Whichever comes first. Pun intended. This year has been the year for sex in music and going “fuck yes!.” We all love a good sex bop. Everyone will be receiving a copy of the Top 10 sex bops of 2019. You’re welcome for all the sexy times you will be having.

Cast of Riverdale

They were originally on the list of my favorite things back in 2017 and frankly, they have been aging like fine wine. I’m still obsessed with “Riverdale.” Sure, I truly have no clue what’s going on 98% of the time, but it’s a quality show with a bunch of hot people on it. The “teens” are hot, the parents are hot, even the pets are hot. What is in the water beside drugs? Whatever it is, it made everyone super hot and I want some of that.

Cheryl Blossom is still the queen of the town and the real star of the show. Dem Abs have seemed to take a backseat to ongoing stupidity that is Archie Andrews. His GQ photoshoot is still what dreams are made of though. They are all the bee’s knees.

Everyone will be going home with a copy of Cheryl Blossom’s cookbook called “A hint of Maple Syrup and Destruction: how to proper ruin people lives,” a guide on how to make homemade Jingle Jangle, membership to the Josie and the Pussycat’s vinyl record club, and your own Betty Cooper ponytail. I’ll even throw in the scene where Toni Topaz and Cheryl Blossom screw. It will change your life.

Charles Melton

You are welcome for this gift

This was the year of Charles Melton. He’s so nice, he’s on the list twice. His big break, besides The Dale, was in the movie “The Sun Is Also a Star.” I’ve lovingly called the film “The Sun Is Also a Star that is Born.” But he’s been on all of our radars since he took over the role of Reginald Mantle in 2017. He has moved past the label of Reggie 2 and is now the reason everyone watches “Riverdale.” Besides Cheryl Blossom. He’s just too good looking not to stare at.

Words cannot describe the attractiveness of Charles. He’s like a cute puppy with abs. He just so good to look at; you can’t help but smile. He’s was in the video for Ariana Grande’s “Break up with Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored.” Yes, that was the actual title of the song, and it’s a mood. He was hot in that too and he wasn’t even the focus. Again, 2019 was the year of Melton. I AM HERE FOR ALL THINGS MELTON. Oh, he’s also single now too if you were looking to slide into his Instagram DMs.

Everyone will be leaving with a copy of Charles’ modeling pictures bound and sprayed with cologne with love letters he wrote. I’ll even get you an extra copy just in case you want to share Charles Michael Melton with the world. Or if you want an additional copy for yourself. You will probably keep it for yourself.

Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson

Just in case you have been living under a rock for the last couple of months, YouTubers Shawn Dawson and Jeffree Star shook the world. They released their newest series, “The Beautiful World of Jeffree Star.” It gave the world an insider look at how makeup was made. It also debuted Shane Dawson’s makeup line and documented how he became better at makeup than you will ever be. Sure, some wish it didn’t tease us with the drama that happened in the beauty community, aka BeauTubers, and not show. But it was still everything. It’s frankly the best advertising tool we have seen. It got their collection, The Conspiracy Collection, to extremely high numbers and even broke the internet.

If you look underneath your chair, you will be leaving with a picture of Shane and Jeffree’s collection. If Oprah wasn’t able to get you the hottest makeup collection, what makes you think I’ll be able to? You’re going to have to wait until May 2020 when it restocks like everyone else. But I will give you Jeffree Star discography because frankly, it’s underrated.

Ariana Grande

Yes, Ariana Grande continues to be a constant on my list each year. Last year, she was our woke Twitter queen, and she continues to be that this year. She gave us a new album, “Thank u, Next,” as well as a live album, “K Bye for Now (SWT Live).” She was the gift that keeps on giving. Oh, and I’m still patiently waiting for her to tour with *NSYNC. In case you forgot, She headlined Coachella and performed with *NSYNC. She was that bitch this year. Sure, there was no Justin Timberlake, but she can replace him on tour. She’s the only person that would replace JT, and no one would care…that much. 

Like last year, you all will be walking away with Ariana Grande wigs, oversized sweatshirts, signed lithos, lollipops, and her complete discography. And if you look under your chair, there’s a Mr. Purple and a Cat Valentine wig for you. And again, no, Mr. Puple isn’t a sex toy.

Disney+

Oh, Disney+. It’s been the greatest and the worst thing that has happened to the world in 2019. Sure, it’s everything to go on nostalgia trips with shows and movies that you haven’t seen in years. But now everyone and their mother has or is going to have a streaming service. Do you know how much money is going to be? Don’t get me wrong, I cannot wait to be able to stream and relive my childhood. But at what cost? There’s no gift for you with this thing. It’s just something to think about.

Oh, Disney+ gave us Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda is a mood and will forever be the greatest Disney Princess and Star Wars character ever created. Baby Yoda for President. Baby Yoda for life.

Jonas Brothers

2019 was the return of the Jonas Brothers. They lost the purity rings, got married, and lost their Disney label and sound for a more mature sound and label. Nick, Kevin, and Joe Jonas released a new album, “Happiness Begins,” and started a new tour. They gave us so many good bops this year that it ain’t even funny. “Sucker,” “Cool,” “Rollercoaster,” the list goes on and on. It was also fun to hear the Jonas Brothers sing Nick/Joe’s other work. Kevin’s other work was displayed on the tour bus. It’s finger painting and lullabies. But don’t worry, Nick Jonas is still everyone’s favorite Jonas. Even with his dadbod. His dadbod is mood.

Everyone will get free memberships to the failure that is Jonas Vinyl Club. There’s also the Nick Jonas Bacon and Cigar Club, Joe Jonas Cake, Sex, and Weed Club, and the Kevin Jonas Nursing Rhyme and parenting Club. There’s a lot of Jonas side clubs that were all so much better and reasonably priced compared to the Jonas Vinyl Club. We need to get them more publicity.

Britney Spears

Unlike in past years, I’ve included the Queen because it’s her. Last year, she got thrown a parade and didn’t even say a word. This year, while it was a hard year for our savior, she owned Instagram and made it hers. For that, She is on the list for the second year in a row. Everyone will walk away with her complete discography, including Britney Jean. As well as, you will also have all of her perfumes because who needs new music when you can have an endless supply of perfume.

And this years’ “Fuck you” go to…

  • the people that still believe they live in the 1930s
  • the people that believe that LGBTQ people aren’t people and don’t deserve rights
  • all the ignorant people who still judge people by sexuality, race, religion, etc. 
  • people that don’t want to help people from other countries
  • bigots
  • everyone that feels right about using children to justify their casual homophobia, racism, and/or being horrible people
  • anyone that feels good about making others feel horrible about themselves to feel better. I hope it was worth making someone feel like absolute shit.
  • everyone you think you are better than others. We are all the same. 
  • the parents that secretly or openly disapprove or hate the fact that their child/children are LGBTQ. Who cares who they fall in love with or identify as? Just as long as they are happy should be all that matters. And fuck you if you have kicked them out because of it. You are a horrible parent and person
  • everyone who doesn’t want to talk about how to stop people from fucking shooting other people every day. I’m frankly tired of hearing about it. We didn’t fix it in 2019 so let’s shoot for 2020, K?

This will do it for this year’s Favorite Things. I’ll be sending the police to Oprah’s compound just to make sure she’s okay. She’s probably already thinking how she’s going to top my list next year. Oprah is brainstorming my demise with Gayle by the fireplace. Bring it on, O.

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

Pop Project Favorite Things 2018

Get ready to eat your motherfucking heart out again, Oprah

It’s that time of year! It’s time for the yearly tradition of making Oprah hide away in fear and jealousy. It’s also the event that you secretly live for. It’s okay, you don’t need to say anything more. I got you, boo! Welcome to “The Pop Project: with Steven Kaufman” FFFFFAAAAVVVOOORRRIITTTEEE TTTTHHHHIIINNNGGGGSS! Like every year, please read that in your best Oprah voice. It will make my year. 2018 was a suck year, but these things didn’t. 

Click here to view past favorite things: 2016|2017

So without further ado, let’s dive into what exactly our favorite things are. Like last year, I’m a broke ass bitch so I unable to give these out for free. A master link will be provided if you would like to get some of these things…minus for people. I can’t sell people. That’s illegal.

Ariana Grande

Besides the fact that Billboard named her Woman of the Year for 2018, she has been the gift that keeps on giving. While I’ll forgive her for the lapse in judgment that she had when she decided to let Pharrell touch “Sweetener,” she has been killing it this year. Between “No Tears Left to Cry,” “God is A Woman,” “Breathin’,” and “Thank U, Next,” her music has been everything and everywhere. Have you seen the video for “Thank U, Next?” It’s literally iconic. Plus, she’s still the iconic queen on Twitter next to Chrissy Teigen. Ariana Grande is just the gift that keeps on giving. She’s woke and I’m here for it. She has had a very rough year and yet she still’s able to be positive and just be a queen. 

Besides her discography, you all will be walking away with Ariana Grande wigs, oversized sweatshirts, signed lithos, lollipops, and Pete Davidson. He needs a good home. And if you look under your chair, there’s a Mr. Purple for you. And no, it’s not a sex toy. Oprah didn’t give those out so why would I?

2018 was one of the gayest year

I’m here for how gay 2018 was. While it was a bad year, there was so much positive LGBTQ happens in the media that it made me smile. We had more and more people standing up to protect rights, more prominent roles in film and TV, as well stereotypes are going more and more away. While I wish more people would just let people love who they want, there’s just so much support shown in the world that it just couldn’t help but make you smile. Am I wanting to think positively about this? fuck yeah! But it’s also true. If we keep supporting and accepting each other as we have been, then we can change the world. Who doesn’t love changing the world?

Everyone in the studio audience will be walking away with a bottle of love and glitter. I don’t know what else to give besides just love and glitter. I’ll give you a rainbow heart cookie.

Big Dick Energy…or BDE

This sums up BDE

This was brought to us by the one and only Ariana Grande. If you have been living under a rock, Big Dick Energy, or BDE,  is something that was born and raised to iconic status in 2018. According to the only dictionary that matters, Urban Dictionary is “that confidence you got knowing you got an enormous penis, but BDE isn’t exclusive to the well-endowed.”

In 2018, this is what people are finding attractive now. I’m all for this because frankly, we need more of this confidence in the world. Now, I’m not saying this because there’s a fine line where confidence isn’t being cocky….pun intended. You want to be confident without being cocky. Cocky isn’t attractive what so ever unless you have a complex and are into bad boys/girls. And let’s be real for a moment: Who isn’t into them? While you might not want to date them, you have a soft spot for them that you would like to fix by them? 

You’ll be walking out with a book “So you want that Big Dick Energy?” and the first batch of my “BDE” fragrance. It’s so you can smell like you have a big dick even if you don’t.  Everyone deserves to smell like they are packing heat.

Drag Queens

If you don’t get it, google it

Like stated above, 2018 was extremely gay. Leading 2018 into the light was drag queens. If you don’t love or never experienced a drag show, then you need to get with it. Those are usually the highlight of anyone’s night. Drag shows are all about being who you are and having fun. Drag Queens are just the ambassadors of fun and rainbows. It’s been a good year for drag queens. We really need to have drag queens run the country. Think about how much fun and exciting everything will be?

Everyone will be going home with their own drag queen as we have dolls that you can turn into a queen. Let’s be real: Ken is already a queen. He’s been tucking it in for years. You will also get a makeup kit from Jeffree Star as well as glitter. 

Charlie Puth

Does he have your attention now?

Honestly, this was the year for Daddy Puth. I call him Daddy Puth because he’s pretty much a musical daddy. Anyways, after teasing us with “Attention” for the last year and a half, he gave us his album “Voicenotes” and boy, he delivered with that album. He also decided to take his shirt off during this concerts now. I’m not sure if you have seen him lately, but he definitely earned his title of daddy Puth. The boy has been hitting the gym and hitting it hard. Most people don’t realize that he’s actually ripped. I think that it’s because he wears comfortable clothes. He’s wearing the abs version of a Wonderbra.

Everyone will be going away with a signed shirtless photograph of him, as well as all his albums. If you look under your seat, there’s nothing because I couldn’t find anything to stick there. Oh, and you will all get a private concert from Daddy Puth.

Shawn Mendes

Shawn Mendes has really had a helluva year. He released his album “Shawn Mendes” and has been much been everywhere this year. He was on my list back in 2016 and he has returned back. Dude has been slaying it and I’m all for it. Between him talking about anxiety to him calling out Rolling stones. He’s just been a boss this year and I love it. He has also gotten out of his shell a lot. While he still seems comes across too serious, he seems more fun. I’ve always said that Charlie was the fun goofy one and Shawn was the one who will tell you honestly about your life as he drives your drunken ass home. He’s responsible. 

Everyone will be leaving with a signed copy of his latest album. You will also get a VR experience where you are the hands in his video for his song “Nervous.” Still the dirtiest and hottest video he has done. More people have never wanted to be a set of hands more than in that video. I’m feeling generous so I’ll give you a sign copies of his shirtless spread since everyone loved it back in 2016. It’s what Oprah would do.

Britney Spears

When you can get a parade thrown for you just to walk out and not say a word, it’s a fabulous year. Get it, Britney. Everyone gets a parade and a bottle of her unisex scent.

Take it all in

Amount of fucks given

I love how fucks are given in this picture

I’m not sure if you were aware but there were so many fucks given that even Oprah would have included it in her list. The world was so woke that everyone in their mothers was out protesting for what they believe in. We, as a country, need to be more active with our voices when we don’t agree with something that our government is doing or not doing. We have that freedom and it’s damn time that we use it. 

So instead of making jokes about some sort of gifts that I was going to give out. I’m going to give out fuck you. I made a list and I checked it twice. I’m going to just tell you a big “fuck you” if deserve one. If you make this list you probably do. 

And the fuck you go to…

  • Fuck you to the people that still believe they live in the 1930s
  • Fuck you to all the people that believe that transgender people aren’t people and don’t deserve rights
  • Fuck you to all the ignorant people who still judge people by sexuality, race, religion, etc. 
  • Fuck you, Shay Van Buren
  • Fuck you, Rachel Tice
  • Fuck you people that don’t want to help people from other countries
  • Fuck you bigots
  • Fuck you to everyone that feel right about using children to justify their casual homophobia, racism, and/or being horrible people
  • Fuck you to anyone that feels good about making others feel horrible about themselves to feel better. I hope it was worth making someone feel like absolute shit.
  • Fuck you to everyone you thinks you are better than others. We are all the same. 
  • Fuck you to the parents that secretly or openly disapprove or hate the fact that their child/children are LGBTQ. Who cares who they fall in love with or identify as? Just as long as they are happy should be all that matters. And fuck you if you have kicked them out because of it. You are a horrible parent and person
  • Last but not least, fuck you to everyone who doesn’t want to talk about how to stop people from fucking shooting other people every day. I’m frankly tired of hearing about it so let’s fix that in 2019. K?

CLICK HERE FOR THE COMPLETE LIST OF FAVORITE THINGS

That will do it for this year’s edition of favorite things. Hopefully, you have enjoyed all the gifts that I have given this year. I have always enjoyed being Oprah once a year. Let’s see Oprah top my favorite things. She’s quaking in her compound.  

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.


Why Oprah Winfrey should run for President?

Lock the door. Lower the blinds.

If you have lived under rock for the past couple of days, everyone has talked about Oprah Winfrey and her running for president. Besides that I covered that last year, It’s been getting people talking about whether she should run for president. Let’s have a moment for the fact that I broke the first before all the news outlets. Anderson Cooper, eat your hear out.

For those that aren’t sure what the fuck they are in for, a kiki is a party for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve. So let’s talk about how people don’t think Oprah Winfrey should run for President. All of this is coming from people who voted for Donald J. Trump. I’ll let that sink.

After her amazing speech at the 2018 Golden Globes, she had people moved by it. It was just an extremely good speech. Because how elegantly she spoke, people want her to run for president. There was a whole Twitter conversations about it and pretty much the internet agreed that she should run in 2020. But then there was the other side of it. The side that said Oprah shouldn’t run and that she wasn’t qualified because she was a celebrity.

To the people who said that Oprah isn’t qualified, I say this: Donald Trump is our President and you cannot tell me he was actually qualified. Donald Trump and Oprah are both celebrities so your argument is invalid. If the Donald Trump getting elected into office taught us anything is that no one really cares if you are qualified. They just care about them and if you can get them what they want. Like stop caring about the environment because who the fuck need that when you are paying in taxes. You cannot afford to enjoy the environment since your broke.

Everyone knew that Trump getting elected would start a trend of celebrities getting interested in running. It’s actually their right to run for office, just like it’s your right to do the same. I know I just shocked you with that bit of knowledge there. I say if they want to run for President, let them! They honestly can’t be as bad. Besides, we still have to vote for them. We have the last say on who will represent the parties and who is going to run it.

You at least owe her a chance to run. You could like her position on things. Personally, I would prefer my President to have a political experience. I wouldn’t go get a major surgery from someone who said they could do. I watch a lot of “Grey’s Anatomy” but I’m not going around opening up chest and repairing organs. Why would you want the same for the person running the country? But if we aren’t going to go with experience but rather who we think will do a good job and who will match up with your beliefs. Doesn’t this sound like why you voted for Trump?

If Oprah is running against Trump, don’t vote for her if you don’t like her. Just like most of America didn’t vote for Trump. Just don’t say she’s not qualified because she’s a celebrity. She’s more qualified than Trump. ANYONE is more qualified than him.

This kiki was…..

tumblr_m9ktw3fnzv1r2rbmdo1_500

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more sass. 

All Hail Oprah

 

oprah-sm

Bow down to the Queen Oprah Winfrey! On you knees, Peasants!

This is literally the day that I have waited for years. I’m literally so excited for this-mainly because I can finally make jokes about this. Oprah freaking’ Winfrey, is considering running for president in 2020. Let’s all take a breath about this because this is like Christmas. Here’s a gif to explain my excitement:

So the Supreme Ruler of the world, Oprah Winfrey, has been told that she should run for president literally for years. One can understand why she wouldn’t because she has a lot on her plate. She owns the world through her propaganda channel known as OWN-the title makes so much more sense now, doesn’t it?  Anyways, The Supreme Ruler said in an interview that Donald Trump’s presidency has made her realize that she doesn’t need experience. Oh I how love when Oprah spills the tea.

This is literally the best news ever because she would be the best president. Can you picture how much better the country will be when she does a Presidential favorite things? While it’s not as good as my favorite things,I gave away six packs abs and attractive celebrities, it will literally shake the nation. Can you picture her giving away millions of things?

She also has an army of highly trained girls in her school for Africa. Oprah has her own little army of assassins. I bet you are now sticking two and two together and it’s all making sense. Oprah has a lot of power due to her reach. She freaking help Obama secure his win. She literally has all the power of  the world. No one really fears her…at least they are willing to admit it. Rumor has it that people who pissed off Oprah, never lived to tell about it again. Oprah is one not to mess with,

Her cabinet will be the best. Gayle will be the first lady..erm, I mean Press Secretary. Martha Stewart can be in there. Hell, Barry Obama might be in the cabinet too. It could be an all-star cabinet. People will be wanting to have her to have more than two terms. And besides, who hates Oprah? Sure, she might have killed them all but still, no one really has a bad thing to say about her.

I’m personally all for Oprah’s candidacy for President. Sorry Paris, but Oprah will be a better choice. Oprah for Supreme Ruler of the US in 2020.

Like this article if you want Oprah to run for President. Make sure you leave a comment below with your thoughts. Make sure you follow me on Twitter and follow the blog, the button is down below.