Poke-messed up

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Pokemon is one messed up franchise when you look at it as a whole. In the world of Pokemon, they find it perfect acceptable to send 10 years old into the world with very little in order to catch and train creature that could easily kill them in horrific fashion. Then with very little training, they are then giving a Pokemon of their own to aid them but aren’t told how to use them or what they could do. So even their Pokemon could kill them.

All the adults are fine with sending them like this. They just let their child run around with no supervision and sleep anywhere in order to get glory. Sure, they can go to a Pokemon Center but it’s still wrong. They are way to trusting into the world, especially with Team Rocket, Magma, and Aqua out in the world. Which by the way, why haven’t Officer Jenny caught them? And if they haven’t caught them, why are they still Police Officers? Do the Pokemon world have a capable police force? I’m starting to think it all one big joke.

Why is socially acceptable to battle Pokemon? It’s technically animal abuse and contradictory to the point that you are supposed to work as a team and be friendly with the Pokemon on your team. Forcing them to battle and keeping them in tiny little balls against their will isn’t friendly.

So pretty much Pokemon is teaching us to train our companions to battle for us for glory and to trust everyone. #LifeLessons

 

Have any thoughts on Pokemon? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @Steven_Kaufman

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Pokemon Go Harmony

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Since everyone is out and about catching Pokemon, it’s time to start thinking about this from a realistic perspective. Let’s start a Pokemon go dating service. It makes perfect sense. Everyone one else is trying to capitalize on the success. I might as well join in.

Pokemon Go Harmony matches you up with people on your team based on the analyzation of your Pokemon. The closer matched your Pokemon are, the more compatible you will become. So if you both have a bunch of water Pokemon then you will be a match in water Pokemon heaven. Who needs to be match by hobbies and likes/dislikes? That’s so 2015.

Pokemon Go Harmony doesn’t discriminate between sexuality, ethnicity, because the majority of us are in our twenties catching Pokemon-who are we to really judge? To make sure we you guys are a perfect match, we will be using our Pokemon to attract you guys together (even if it is against your will). Pokemon Go Harmony has a 99.9% success rate to find the Jessie to your James, the attractive women to your Brock (because you are manwhore #nojudgement),or the Misty to your Ash (they were together).

Pokemon Go Harmony will be avalible in the summer of 2044. Gotta Catch The Love.

Pokemon are real!

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The world has been in left in an uproar as everyone is becoming a Pokemon master. “Pokemon Go” is the game where you can catch Pokémon in the real world. Yes, you read that right. Pokemon has invaded our world and now we can become the very best, like no one ever was. To catch them and not to die is our real test. To train them is our cause.

In order to catch the Pokemon, you must walk around your area and the Pokémon will pretty much run into you. The Pokemon that you are able to catch is based on what your location is. If you leave in grassland areas, then you will have a lot of grass Pokemon near you. Then you can train at gyms (that is right, you can open up your own gym). There are also other nifty area where you get free stuff.

The game is extremely addicting and makes people exercise and actually talk to people face to face. Wait for the backlash of people angry because they have to move around and actually talk to people. But the game has been a smash hit since it’s inception and it’s no one why.

Have an opinion on the Pokemon Go? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @Steven_Kaufman