Calabasas, we have a problem!

kardashian

We have an epidemic worse than Bieber fever and maybe even Ebola. We, as Americans, are under a Kardashian Fever. That’s right…we are being taken over by everyone’s favorite train wreck, The Kardashians. Before I get on my soapbox, let’s clear one thing up. I’m not complaining about the Jenner’s. The Jenner’s are actually famous on their own accord. Kylie, Kendell, and Krissy (is their a Krissy?) are all models who didn’t want to get famous for being Kim Kardashian’s little step sisters. Brody got famous for banging Kristen and being on MTV. Bruce got her his fame not only running from his true self but also running for the gold. Then there is like 6 other Jenner kids and they aren’t famous.

So the Kardashians, what are they really famous for? They are famous because of Kim. Kim made a sex tape of her banging a nameless rapper that happened to be famous for being Brandy/Moesha’s brother (it was like inception). Then we wanted to know about the girl “behind” the sex tape and that’s how we were cursed with “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” So did we awarded her for having sex with fame and fortune or just rewarding her for having a vagina that makes people famous? (Look at the list of her past flames and tell me you knew of them before they dated) Then everyone else is just feeding off of her and the Jenner fame. Have you ever just sat and thought about why we are so fascinated with them? Well, that started a trend of people getting famous for doing absolutely nothing.

Alex From Target (I’m sorry but the kid was just doing his job and he has a billion people hitting on him), that one guy that told us to hide our kids and hide our wife because their raping everyone out there, and Kate Gosselin (While popping our eight kids out is a feet, she doesn’t need to famous for it). I’ll go into the Teen Moms and such in a different article but why do we does our society feel like rewarding people for things like popping out babies and doing their job?

While I use this blog to talk about people who have talent and Justin Bieber, I think we need to stop and look at the celebrities we are creating and actually think about why we care as much as we do. Together we can end Kardashian Fever.

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Please stop that music!

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Our friendly neighbor gossip Perez Hilton recently posted a photo gallery of Actors and Athletes that had a failed music career, which probably means that their music was god awful. So I thought I would ruin your life by playing the music and making comments about it!

Kim Kardashian

Okay so this song is just horrible and  it just makes me want to just harm little innocent bunnies. Granted, Kim Kardashian recorded for charity but it’s one of those things that she shouldn’t have never done. This just goes to show that Kim shouldn’t quit her day job (whatever the hell that might be) no matter how much you look like Nicole Scherzinger.

Scarlett Johansson

Yeah….we can see why she didn’t have a good music career because this song is basically god awful. It literally sounds like it was overly produced in first place to cover up the bad singing.  It’s a good thing she stopped after her 2011 album because this wasn’t pretty to sit through.

Lindsay Lohan

Okay, this one I somewhat agree with to a point. While Lindsay’s music career wasn’t successful, it wasn’t because she was bad (she more like mediocre). It didn’t pan out because of her alleged problems with drugs and alcohol. “Rumors” and “Confessions of a Broken Hearts” were a few of good songs. Her first album is better than her second.

Paris Hilton

What is with all this girls that got famous via a sex tape think they can sing? It’s all Paris’ fault because she started this trend. Granted, her music was 100 times better than Kim’s but it still wasn’t good. It was so bad, it made the Star’s blind.

Heidi Montag

This one is pretty much self explanatory. Heidi thought it would be a good idea to release an album when “Speidi” and “The Hills” controlled the airways over at MTV. Her music was….interesting to say the least. “Body Language” was her only “good” song and I say that hesitantly. And yes, that is Spencer Pratt rapping along is wife (is it wife?). He took time away from his crystals mediations to help her.

Brooke Hogan

This is another one that I really don’t really agree with. Brooke Hogan’s problem wasn’t that she was horrible, it was that no one knew what genre of music that she should be in because her first album was more “r&b” while her second (her best btw) was more pop-ish. She was actually really good at singing but it was just the music she was putting out wasn’t really fitting her. It also might have been the fact that her father, Hulk Hogan, also dated/married a woman who looks just like his daughter (creepy to 102 degree)

Now there are plenty more of people like this but these are just the cream of the crop of musical crap.

Did we miss anyone that shouldn’t have tried to get a music career? Leave it in a comment below

Ray-J…well, he hit it first

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So by now, you’ve must have heard the fact that Ray J,Kim Kardashian’s ex and the little bro of Brandy, recently did a song about her called “I hit it first” (wonderful title right? I heard Chris Brown thought of it but gave to him) and the single cover is a pixelated photo of the Kardashian in a bikini (Ray J, you are one classy and clever fellow).  While the Kim/Kanye camp haven’t commented on this, aka Kris Jenner hasn’t sent out the Kardashian Mafia, it’s gotta some major publicity. It’s been like a week since the single has dropped and while we here at the Pop Project refuse to review it because we felt dirty like Xtina, we will comment on it. So here is the first ever Pop Project Dissection of Ray J’s newest single “I hit it first”.

So let’s start with the song title and cover because it’s going to be the most fun! So as I stated before, the title is “I hit it first”. The title of this song is basically Ray J stating to the world that “he had sex with Kim”. I pretty sure that the world knows about the fact that Ray J had sex with Kim because of the sex tape that they did because that tape is the main reason we see Kim and her family on our television screens each and everyday. So there is no need, or want for us, to be reminded that he had sex with Kim first because we thank him every time we see her (by thank, I mean want to harm). And let’s be real people, Kim probably wasn’t even a virgin when she and Ray J had sex because she lived through the 90s and everyone know the only thing virginal about the 90s was “Full House” and that was only on for half of it. So Ray J, you in fact didn’t “hit it” first but rather probably second. Anyways, this is what the cover of the single is and the un-pixelated photo:

I don’t know who in the hell Ray J was trying to fool with this cover but it didn’t work (especially in this day and age). You might as well have just posted the DVD cover of the sex tape because that would have worked better than this pixelated cover because it’s so hard to unpixelate something. You are just asking for trouble when you do this, especially with the Kardashians! They will cut a bitch and not think twice about it. So yeah, so far Ray J, you just look like an asshole and Kim looks like the victim and We,the people, feel bad for her (there’s a first time for everything).

Now, it’s time to go over the lyrics because there isn’t a song without lyrics. Sadly, at the time of this post-there wasn’t any lyrics posted 🙁 So instead, here is the song. Listen to it. I’m sorry for wasting your time with this song:

Now that you listened to it….yeah, it’s pretty obvious that Ray J is still not over Kim. This song is basically him telling his “bros” about his accomplishments (Dude, they probably already know. The sex tape has been out for years)

According this site, Ray J said that it wasn’t about Kimmie K. he stated:

”It’s a song, it’s not about that. They just gotta keep it on the surface. I’m not trying to create no war, it’s all love; we’re doing music.”

Hmmm well Ray J, if it wasn’t about Kim Kardashian then you shouldn’t have put her on your single cover pixelated, made a line in the song that says “She might move on to rappers and ballplayers/But we all know I hit it first” and then sang “If you were to come back to me, girl/We’ll make another movie”. That to me sounds like all stuff Kim Kardashian has done unless she has a cloned.

So yeah, That’s pretty much it. Ray J’s song makes him look like a scumbag and we all feel bad for a Kardashian. The world will be ending.

Have an opinion on this song? Let us know in the comments below