Ask The Pop Project #7: Mario is jobless and Demi’s new music

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You’ve got questions, I’ve got answers

It’s been a while but I decided to take time out of my busy schedule (I know what you are thinking) to answer some of your questions that were eating away at your souls. Welcome to the latest edition of “Ask the Pop Project.” Let’s get started with some of your questions.


 

Dear Pop Project (Thaaaaatttt’s usssss!),

Why isn’t Mario a Plumber anymore?

– Princess Peach

Sometimes people lose their jobs. He probably lost it because he’s too busy saving your helpless ass all the damn time. He can’t clean any pipes or unclog them if he’s running around the damn world trying to stop Bowser from doing who knows what to you. Geez, Peach, are you that dense? It’s bad enough that you refuse to marry him for no reason. I have a theory that you are actually cheating on him with Bowser. If you weren’t, then you would have married him by now. But he lost his job because he couldn’t go to work when he was saving your ass. You really need to attend some self-defense classes there Peachy. Oh, here’s some other unanswered questions for you.


 

Dear Pop Project (Thaaaaatttt’s usssss!),

Why does this season of Big Brother suck?

 – Concerned houseguest

I discuss the majority of this in my Big Brother series “Big Brother Breakdown.” This season sucks because it was a group of people following one person blinding and not thinking for themselves. Anyone who thought outside the groupthink was quickly eliminated or shunned from the group. It was really slightly fun watching them eat each other alive. It was also fun to watch the looks on their face when it finally hit that they were all being played. I cannot wait for this season to be over and Big Brother Canada to start. It’s SO good.


Dear Pop Project (Thaaaaatttt’s usssss!),

When do you plan on covering award show fashions?

– Fashion forward person

Since my fashion blogger hat is still not hung up, I thought about covering it because some of these celebrities don’t have good fashion choices. Like, who told them that it was a good idea to wear some of the stuff they do? I’m not like a fashionable person but it doesn’t take an idiot to go “that looks horrible.”

 


 

Dear Pop Project (Thaaaaatttt’s usssss!),

What are your overall thoughts on Demi Lovato’s new music?

– LovaticLover1992

I’m okay with Demi Lovato’s new music. While Demi Lovato pre-Skyscraper is my favorite, her new music really fits her voice better than anything else she has done. I wish it was less depressing and more happy and upbeat. Oh, and “Sorry Not Sorry” could have been better. It’s decently good, but it’s weak when you put it up against the likes of “Cool for the Summer,” and “Remember December.”


 

Dear Pop Project (Thaaaaatttt’s usssss!),

How come you don’t do an “Ask the Pop Project” more?

– Questioning Fan

Because I forget that it’s a thing.

 

Have a question you want to be answered? Leave it in a comment below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman

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Unanswered Super Mario Questions

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Mario’s search and rescue of Princess Peach, formerly Princess Toadstool before she entered the Mushroom Kingdom’s witness protection that didn’t work, has been going on for multiple decades. It’s literally the same story with a few changes here and there. Bowser kidnaps her and then Mario, and sometimes his brother Luigi, travel the world to save her.  There has been some change in the plot depending on the game but it’s all the same. Here’s a simpler version: Bitch gets herself kidnapped, Mario risks his live(s) and saves her.  So here’s just some questions that I have that I think deserved answers if Nintendo wants me to continue to invest my money and time into the trial and tribulations of what I’m calling the prequel to the “Taken” franchise:

  • WTF does Bowser want Peach for? Bowser is a huge ass lizard. There’s such an easier way than capturing the stupid princess, especially after having Mario come after him and defeat him everytime. Why does he even want her? She’s just a figurehead with no power. She’s hardly ever there with the amount of times she’s kidnapped to have any power in the area or to know her kingdom well. I know Nintendo isn’t saying Bestiality is the reason because I’m sorry but Browser could do better. And if there’s a Bowser Jr., where’s Mrs. Bowser in all of this? Is she dead or is Bowser just a playa?  Speaking of children, why doesn’t he “claim” the Koopalings as his children anymore? Is that why Mrs. Bowser isn’t with him anymore?
  • How dumb is the Peach? If she’s under the new name of Peach with Witness Protection (I’m not going to ask why they didn’t keep her appearance as Princess Daisy-yes,they are the same person), why does the bitch keep getting captured? How come she doesn’t have like some sort of security around her at all time? Where’s the Mushroom Kingdom’s version of the Secret Service to save her? You can’t expect Toad to protect her, he’s as scary as newborn kitten. He’s also like a foot tall. Get the bitch actually protect. How is she still a princess anyways?
  • Why don’t they have an army? While an army of foot tall mushroom people wouldn’t terrify anyone, is the Mushroom Kingdom that dense not to have an army to protect the woman that keeps getting kidnapped? I mean, it would be hard to stop someone who apparently has a key and a designated parking spot at the castle. But still, an army might have at least made a slight impact on Bowser’s plan. He might have to kick the little bastards instead of just breezing on through.
  • Why does Mario keep saving her? I don’t understand why he just keeps saving Peach. It might have to do with the fact that she’s apparently the only human female in the Mushroom Kingdom. I understand it might be true love, which he too can do better. Peach is obviously careless and doesn’t give a crap about his wellbeing since she constantly keeps dragging him in to fight Bowser. I’m sorry but no woman is worth that, especially when it involves a huge ass lizard throwing things at you in a floating clown head.
  • Why does Luigi want to save her? I totally understand helping a brother out but why would you be stupid enough to help your brother rescue his girl if you’re not getting anything out it. Is he in love with Peach? Is this a love triangle/square?  Luigi can’t do better than Peach if that is true. He’s a loser who jumps weird. Or is he secretly trying to take down Peach as revenge from her days as Princess Daisy? Daisy was playing games with his heart. I need to know how and why Luigi is wanting to help Peach because it doesn’t make sense, especially with how much danger and how often Peach is kidnapped.
  • Why does Peach fight in Smash Bros. but not when she’s getting kidnapped? Is Bowser kidnapping her some sort of fetish for her? Does she get off on it? It doesn’t make sense why she would fight meaningless battles in Smash Bros. but yet she not even capable of saving her own ass when Bowser kidnaps her, who she does fight in Smash Bros. And don’t give me that “alternative universe” bull crap, it’s the same character regardless of universe. Besides, if it was “alternative universe,” wouldn’t you think that she would learn how to fight after the first four times? I’m telling you, she’s totally into getting kidnap. Princess in the mushroom streets, but a freak in the sheets.
  • Why does Mario and Luigi not gotten help for their addiction to Mushrooms? Mario and Luigi have a problem and they need to get help for it. Pretty much, they are in a situation that Toad, Peach, and all their friends are enabling their addiction to Mushrooms. Sure, they are helpful and gives them a high that makes them feel larger than what they are and more powerful but they are addictive. Once they lose their high, they want more. Their addiction to Mushrooms is so bad that they even think they can fly, shoot fireballs, and be invincible for a short period of time. We need to get Dr. Phil or Dr. Drew over there to help them break their addiction.
  • Where’s the other humans at? There has to be more than just three humans in the entire kingdom. They didn’t just pop out of thin air. You can say that a stork brought them, but I have a feeling that Toad and his people would be horrible parents. There also is some sort of royal hierarchy there since people aren’t just made into Princesses. Let’s be real: There’s no way that Toad and his people would be able to create a kingdom. They would need extremely tall ladders. So did Bowser kill all the other humans or did he turn them into mushroom people things?
  • What are up with Toad and his people? What are they called and what’s really the big mushroom on their head? And how come they all look-alike? Is there a certain way to tell the difference between them?  Seriously, what’s his/their deal? And how do they reproduce if they all look-alike and you can’t tell the difference? Don’t act like you didn’t want to know the answer to that question as well.

 

Nintendo, if you can answer these questions then maybe I can resume investing into this Franchise. Maybe, you can have Bowser kidnap Mario and Princess Peach can save him #loveislove.

Have an opinion on the subject? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject. 

Run, Mario, Run!

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It’s been almost a month since Nintendo debut the app “Super Mario Run” on all iOS devices and it’s time to finally put down my feeling and views on it. So let’s run deep into the first mobile game that the Japanese gaming empire has made.

“Super Mario Run” is your average Mario game just simplified due to how much space is on a phone compared to an actual gaming system. It’s also the same story that you would expect because the storyline is decades old. Princess Peach can apparently do more than get kidnapped and baked a cake. She invited Mario to come get a piece, which is code for she was a thirsty. So Mario runs because he’s so excited to taste her “cake” and the dumb bitch ends up getting kidnapped by Browser, who is obsessed with her. This is all happening in the tutorial by the way. At the end of the tutorial, Browser blows up the kingdom and ends up sending all of Mario’s help somewhere that wasn’t explained.

The goal of the game to rebuild the kingdom, bring all the mushroom people back as well as Mario’s brother Luigi, and to save the goddamn princess. There is two different modes: Tour and Toad Rally.

Tour Mode is where the game is familiar. You play through all the levels, first three are free, and make your way through to save the Peach. There are six worlds with the goal of each level to is to collect the 15 colored coins, which you have to get in groups of five. The only benefit to this, besides it’s the most fun, is that all the levels you pass go into Toad Rally and you can play as the bitch that can fight off Link in Smash Bros. but can’t stop Browser from kidnapping her ass.

 
mobile_supermariorun_ipadpro_screenshot-only_05Toad Rally is where you collect mushroom people as fans by beating other from all aroundthe world in a race to collect coins. The more mushroom people you collect, you unlock the other three characters (which Browser isn’t one of them!) and level up your Kingdom. Oh yeah, you can purchase things to make your Kingdom unique. You can by mushroom homes, poles for the mushroom to play on and no, I’m not making that up.Sure it’s a flag pole, but you can’t keep those mushroom off the pole.

The game is a very fun game, it just gets boring after a while. There’s nothing there to keep you playing once you save Peach. Sure, you can collect colored coins and unlock special levels when you collect them all, but that’s rather difficult sometimes and it’s annoying. The Toad Rally is fun to a point but then all the levels are all the same. Literally, there are times when you will play the same level back to back.

The idea is there and it’s a fun game when you are bored but other than that, it’s not really that fun. The fact that Browser isn’t a playable character but a newly introduced character is hurts the game. I don’t play as the female toad and mainly play as Luigi because let’s be real-he’s the true badass of the game. “Super Mario Run” is reminiscent of Super Mario Bros. 2: The North American Release, which wasn’t a very fun game. Overall, the game is suffers from lack of content that keeps people coming back.

 

Have an opinion on the game? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject.