Let’s Have a Kiki: Giving thanks for Retail workers

retailthanks-sm

Lock the door. Lower the blinds.

It’s been awhile since we had a good old fashion kiki. Lock the doors, lower the blinds,
fire up the smoke machine and put on your heels because it’s going to real up in this mother. I know, exactly what you need today:

For those that aren’t sure what the fuck they are in for, a kiki is a party for calming all your nerves. We’re spilling tea, and dishing just deserts when they deserve. On this edition, we are going to have a nice little chat about today’s holiday: Thanksgiving aka Black Friday.

So today is a day for spending it with your family and friends but yet there are people who are unable to spend it with them because your greed ass wants some great savings on some deals. That’s right, I’m going to go “there” because the people who work in retail are the unsung heroes of the whole holiday weekend. While you are enjoying the meal you prepared, they will be working to make sure you can get your last-minute shit and are able to come in at whatever time on Thanksgiving to shop until you drop.

Do you really think they want to be there? Probably not. Do you really think they want to hear you say “So sorry that you have to work on Thanksgiving” as you ask them for help or check out? That’s like pouring salt into the wound. They wouldn’t be there if you were spending your money there. It’s honestly just better to not say “sorry” but just say “have a wonderful Thanksgiving.” Because if it wasn’t for people like you shopping there on Thanksgiving, then they wouldn’t have to be there on Thanksgiving. Also, if you are there before any sale, don’t bitch and moan about the lines. Actually, don’t bitch and moan about the lines in general because frankly, most places have some sort of self-checkout you are able to use. It’s your own damn fault if you are in that big of a hurry and don’t want to utilize them. It’s not hard to use. Hell, most places have people there to assist you.

Another thing to keep in mind is the fact they have no control over what’s in stock, especially on today. So if they are out of cranberry sauce, you’re not getting any cranberry sauce. They also can’t help if they are out of something in the sale. Everyone knows what to expect on Black Friday. Have a plan B if the item you want in the sale is out. Also, if you aren’t willing to wait in line for the item, then you really didn’t want it. Expect to wait in some kind of line for something you really want. If you don’t want to and just hope there some left over, then you are pretty much saying “I really don’t want it.”

The moral of this kiki is to just be respectful, kind and nice to the people in retail. They are there to help you spent your money. Don’t take your anger or frustration out of them because you didn’t get your item or they have to follow a policy that doesn’t work to your favorite. They are just doing their job and not ruin your day/Christmas because they are assholes. They are assholes, it’s one of the number one requirements to work in retail. But they aren’t assholes to customers, no matter how rude they are. So remember to give thanks for the retail workers you helping you this weekend before you cuss them out. Also, feel free to stand up for them if you see someone cussing them out or treating them like they are less than human. You will make their day because they just have to sit there and take it.

This kiki was…..

tumblr_m9ktw3fnzv1r2rbmdo1_500

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more sass. 

Advertisements

Months that suck: November

november-sm

It’s the start of a new month and like the month before it, November sucks and here’s why:

November begins the start of the holiday season and the holiday season brings out the worst in people. People get all bitchy and rude as they go all out to buy their loved ones gift. Literally, people die. It also time for Black Friday. Sure, the deals are amazing but let’s be real-it’s The Hunger Games of retail. It’s a blood sport. Every person for themselves as they wait in line in order to get the best deals.  The irony is that it’s the right after the day that we are supposed to give thanks for all the great things in our life. How does that make any sense?

It’s also more freaking cold than what it was in October. November has the possibility for snow. Snow is a murder that is takes many lives every year. Snow is the personification of evil. It’s a like a Pokemon. Snow can melt and turn into frozen water, also know as Ice. Ice is slippery and can also kill you. So November is also the start of you fearing for your life until April. You might as well just live in a bubble. Yes, I know this is a tad bit overreacting but it’s true!

November is also when we lose an hour because Daylight Savings ends. No one likes loosing an hour of time. We have a hard time managing time to begin with, we don’t need to lose more time. Just because the sun isn’t coming up as early as it did, that doesn’t mean that we need doing something drastic. Do we cut off 4 inches every time we get taller ? No.

This is also the time in the year where it just feels like it drags on and on and on. The weather sucking does help with the never-ending days and that just to drag. This causes seasonal depression and people to drinking, besides the fact that their family is around for too long.

Here’s to another month that sucks!

 

Have an opinion on November? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject

Tip for Black Friday shopping

blkfri

It’s that time of year! Today is the start of the season of gift buying. It’s also the start of the holiday sales! Beginning with Black Friday, which now starts on Thanksgiving, every stores have special sales to make sure you buy the love of your love ones and get them the gift that makes their heart melt in your hands. Luckily for you, we have a lot of experience in buying people’s friendship (that’s how Bailey and Steven became friends!). Here are some tips to help you this Black Friday:

  • Wear proper clothing –While you may find it handy to wear high heels and use them as weapons, it won’t get you very far running around in the stores. Wear tennis shoes or running shoes! It will allow you to be comfortable, trendy, and yet fast enough for when you need to push a mother of two out of your way. While you are at it, you might as well just wear clothes like you are going to the gym because Black Friday shopping is a workout. Make sure they also have pockets because you never know when you are going to need to shove the countless number of discounted items in your pockets as you shop. It should also be noted that make sure you have clothing that fits appropriately because that will be seen as a weakness by your enemies. If you have saggy pants, then someone will trip you and everyone will see your underwear, not to mention, you missed out on getting something because you were looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.
  • There are no friends when it comes to Black Friday shopping – Black Friday shopping is a goddamn blood sport. It’s pretty much the Hunger Games of the Retail world. When it comes down to you and your best friends getting the last item, they won’t think twice about shoving a knife into back. Friendships will be lost on that sale and you see people’s true color that day. We recommend not shopping with friends because everyone needs friends, and you need to keep them for the sake of your sanity.
  • Bathrooms are for the weak – While you are waiting in line for hours upon hours, remember that you are stuck there until the sale. The person behind you is just waiting for you to crack. They will take great satisfaction and enjoy into your failure-especially when it comes to you and your bathroom needs. It’s at this point when you need to ask yourself whether it’s worth whatever sale you’re in. Do you really need to go to the bathroom or is this your mind telling your weak and can’t do it? Some places do offer a bathroom pass but everyone knows that they are just using that excuse to make the pain of being judge for your failure a little less hurtful because “you had a bathroom pass” but you still know that you are a failure.
  • Budget your money – Make sure you have enough money to get everything because if you don’t, then there is no hope to save your dignity. Waiting in line for an item that you cannot even afford because your shopping partner, who isn’t a friend, spent all of your money on other sales is pretty much the equivalent of falling for trying to see if your hand is as big as your face. You might as well just shop out of your house like the loser you are.
  • Hide yo slow ass Kids – While your kids might want to come shopping with you, don’t bring them unless they can keep up. If they aren’t fast, they are pretty much dead weight and you might as well just shop when everything is just regular price. The fast ones are going to be able to keep up and use can use them like a pack mule. If you are stuck bring the non-fast kid with you, the faster kid can use him as a human shield as he cuts through the mob.
  • Cheaters never win…unless it’s Black Friday –  While we aren’t condoning pulling out the products early if it’s just sitting out, but you can use your weight, or children, to get you to the front of the mob. We recommend children because it’s against the law to hit a child and they will get looks if they cuss one out.

We hope these tips help you with your shopping experience. If you follow these tips, you can guarantee a successful Black Friday shopping experience.

 

Do you have any shopping tips or stories? Leave them in the comments below.