Movie Review: ‘The Unauthorized Full House Story’

unauthorized full house

Well, it’s time again for another “unauthorized” lifetime movie that will “show the dirt” on “Full House”, the beloved television sitcom that still airs on every family network known to man, and some known to apes.  Going into this movie, I had very little expectations due to the past lifetime movie like this that showed us how twisted Dustin Diamonds mind is because “no one liked him.”

Well, it wasn’t as bad as that but it may have been worse because it’s was boring as hell and hard to watch because it looked like they were trying to be an exact replica of “Full House” but at the same was trying to be it. The set looked like they have never saw the show before and just decided to “wing it,” some of the aspects of the movie didn’t feel like it was in the same era that it should have happened. Some of outfits, styles, among other things, just felt like they modernized it. It was off-putting because most of the time, I was wondering if they really had it during this time. Another thing that bother me was the fact they just spit in the face of the “Full House” continuum. When Mary Kate & Ashley Oslen started the show, they were babies and not toddlers  They were pretty much toddlers for most of the movie.  Also, where were the catchphrases?

If you had watched the E! True Hollywood Story on the show, then there is no need to watch this movie. The movie was pretty much a wast of time. E! True Hollywood Story at least involved the real cast and didn’t just take a big crap on the show. This was just a marketing ploy to get more ratings.

 

Rating: .5  full houses out of 5

You’re drunk, Lifetime–go home!

fullhouse

Last Week, Lifetime decided that they were going to get in on the Full House pandemonium and release the first cast picture of their Full House movie. Boy, the casting director was drunk when they casted because none of the cast looks like what their real life counterparts looks like. Here’s the picture of the lifetime cast:

They look like bad toy knock off versions. I get that Lifetime was trying, I really do, but they really should have tried a bit hard. Like way harder. Joey looks like that creepy uncle that you don’t want to leave your children with because he likes to get touchy, Jesse’s wig looks like an animal crawled onto of his head and just died, and let’s not talk about Danny because he looks like he likes to “hug” the cradle.

Pretty much, they pretty much casted a random group of people and then realized afterwards that the actors have to look like the original cast. It doesn’t seem that hard to cast lookalikes but yet Lifetime finds a way to screw it up.

I cannot wait to watch this train wreck when it premieres in August 22 at 8 p.m. I hope it’s just as bad as their Saved By the Bell movie. Never mind, nothing can be worse than a movie told by the point of view of Dustin Diamond.