Pop Project Explains: Fifty Shades of Grey

 

50shades-sm

Chains and whips excite me

Welcome to Valentine’s edition of “Pop Project Explains.” Currently the only constant thing on this site besides my rambling tangents. On this edition, I’ll be explaining the movie that many of you will be dragged to go see and then “try out,” Fifty Shades of Grey.” Now, this is covering the franchise as a whole, and yes-there is multiple movies.

Make sure you read this before you see any of the movies because then, you will know what the hell you got yourself into later on.

Fifty Shades of Grey kinky love sex

Yeah…it’s that kind of movie

What is “Fifty Shades of Grey?”

You remember the “Twilight” series that you were probably dragged? The movie is legitimately a “Twilight” fan fiction that was turned into a series of poorly written novels then turned into poorly written and directed movies starting attractive people. If you have not heard about what is in these, here’s a link so you know what to expect.

So pretty much, it’s a sexed up version of “Twilight” with sadist and masochist instead of vampires and werewolves…but it’s pretty much same thing.

The movie’s plot is simple. A girl who is going out into the big world by herself meets the love of her life who just happens to have a playroom where he ties people up and gags them because chains and whips excite him. That’s pretty much up. It’s just a movie about a girl trying things out in the bedroom. It’s literally a softcore porn that mothers aren’t trying to get pulled for being too sexual. It just happens this porn has the plot of Twilight…and is more coherent than the most pornographic films and my website.

There you go. That’s me explaining Fifty Shades of Grey. Did you expect this to be longer? Sadly, the plot is super thin just like Twilight. So yeah. I hope this helps you.

Have an opinion about the article, want to be in our Twilight fan fiction musical, or wanna tell us that you love us for a thousand years? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject

Advertisements

Top 5ive: Soundtrack to your Valentine’s Day

songlover-sm

Valentine’s day is tomorrow. It’s the one time a year that there will be an increase sales in flowers, wine/alcohol, and condoms. Just like there will be an increase in infant clothing in nine months. In order to set the mood, you need the perfect music.

Because of all the baby making that will or won’t be,happening, tomorrow. I figured that I would be you personal DJ. This will give you more time to plan. This Top 5ive will be unlike other Top 5ive. It’s going to be set up to follow you from the start of your date and the whole way up to the end 😉  I also can’t promise that this will be just 5 song

I Wanna Be With You by Mandy Moore

This is for you are really excited for your romantic outing. You literally can’t think of anything else. Literally all your co-workers want to kill you because you aren’t getting your work done and you are just making them work more.

Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding

It’s time to actually get ready for your date. At this point, you are probably very nervous and can’t wait to finally see your love again. You’ve been texting all day and it’s almost. This song is to help you get those butterflies the whole way up until you meet you date.

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

It’s time for your date. It’s literally the most romantic thing ever and you are speechless. You were speechless from the time you locked eyes on them.  Then time will stand still as you go on your date. It’s like heaven. Not real heaven because that will be sad and ruin the date.

Crazy in Love by Beyoncé

Towards the end of your date, you are going to want to jump each others bones. Because of this, I give you the 50 Shades of Grey version of “Crazy in Love.” The building up towards the end of the song is perfect to the tension you are feeling.

Breathe On Me by Britney Spears

Literally, the sexiest song that Britney has put out. This is for the part of the night where the amount of love you have can’t control anymore. You just need to go back to one of your places and rip  each others clothes off.

S&M by Rihanna

You probably have seen the new 50 Shades movie at some point in the last week. If you have, then you’re welcome for this song. Honestly, it’s a travesty that they haven’t put this on either one of the soundtracks.

PILLOWTALK by Zayn

……this is for after…..the cuddling and pillow talk. The song title pretty much makes this one self-explanatory.

Where You Are by Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey

It’s almost time to part ways and you just don’t want to. You just want to be with them forever. But you have to work in the morning, and you both feel guilty if you were to take a “sick day.”

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion

It’s time you to part ways like the Titanic (too soon?). You will have only the memories of your night and you will cherish them forever. It will be like Rose saying goodbye to Jack but less tragic because neither one of you died. Best. Valentine’s Day. Ever.

Bonus Track: Side to Side by Ariana Grande feat. Nicki Minaj

You’ve been there all night. You’ve been there all day. Now you be walking side to side….good for you 😉

You’re welcome for the fun time you will be having with this awesome playlist. Below this is the playlist on Spotify if you decided to take it with you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Have an opinion about this article, want to tell us your love us, wanna be our valentine? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject. Also, make sure to follow.

Treat Yo Self: Celebrating Single Awareness Day

treat-yo-self-sm

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, it’s the “one day” that you spoil your significant other to really show them how much you love them…because you can’t do that any other day of the year. For most people, it’s National Singles Awareness Day. Unless you observe it on the 15th like a weirdo. Its the day where single people celebrate being single. How should one celebrate that? Easy…

ybk7tozmxz6su

Because I’m a nice person and hate the commercialize concept of Valentine’s Day, Here are ways to “Treat Yo Self.” In order to properly show you how I’ll be using gif to explaining this…. it just happens to feature gifs from the greatest park show ever on television: Park and Recreation. It just kind of happened that way.

Buy yourself something nice

nw5lujz2f8vpi1

Get that thing that you have been waiting for ages. Now, you should be financially responsible still, but if you have the money, and it won’t make it utterly or close to broke, then I say “treat yo self.” I’m all for spoiling yourself, but you have to be able to live.

Get yourself a new look

iyfxuukdf4tp6

“Treat yo self” to a new look. Change yourself in order to become a better you, for you. Don’t change yourself in order to impress someone. Be the best you that you can be. The best way to do that is WARDROBE CHANGE! Get something that you think you look fine in.  Something that went you look in the mirror, you go “DAYYYUMM.”

Go to the club

Head out to the club, with friends, and just enjoy the music and have a fun time. now, if you decide to have a little drunken fun, have a designated driver. The point of this is to have some fun and to show off at the club the new look you got earlier. You want to make the men/lady go “DAAAAYYYYYUUUMMM” now. “Treat yo self” to some dancing and attention.

Have an evening/day out with your friends

You can just hang out with your friends and have a Galentine’s Day….there’s no clever way to incorporate Guys in there. But just go have fun with your friends whatever that may be. It could be the club, mentioned above.  Or it could just be sitting at home and having a kiki. Just have fun!  You can even get each other gifts to celebrate being single or being friends.

Do whatever you want to do

e0rbcb4um8ac4

Honestly, just do whatever you feel like doing. Just as long it doesn’t involve being all sad that you are alone on Valentine’s day. You don’t need to be in a relationship to enjoy having fun. It’s literally just a day. It’s not even a day you get off from work for. It seems like a big deal but it really isn’t. Just have fun and enjoy yourself. And just remember to “treat yo self.” When you do, it becomes…..

ghnenrluevma4

Those are the way to enjoy Single Awareness Day that isn’t depressing like eating ice cream or drinking your sorrows away. Key is just to remember to have fun!

 

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

February is worse than January

febsucks-sm

Should this be a shock to you at this point? We do this every month and you should be aware that this is going to come. February sucks and here’s why.

February is only 28 days long. It’s literally a waste of a month. Then every four years, it gets another day. Who does that? What’s the point of an extra day? All it does is ruin the flow of the calendar year from that point on. So if you’re birthday falls after February 29, then just push your birthday back a day because someone way back when doesn’t think it’s important.

Let’s look at the holiday’s that make up February. Valentine’s day is its own issue that I’ll get to. The month has Groundhog Day, the day we allow an animal to tell us when spring is coming based on whether he can see his shadow. Of course, he’s going to see his shadow, there’s proper lighting for filming there. The worst part of this day is that he usually more right than the actual weatherman. We might as well give him a degree in meteorology and put him on the 5’o clock news. And what’s the point of having a degree to become a weatherman when we have Groundhog Day?

Then we have a bunch of important holidays/events this month-the shortest month of the year. We have President’s day and Black History Month this month. While I do think Black History Month is important and it needs to be celebrated, but someone please explain to who thought it was good idea to do this? Give it a full month. Every other History month has 30-31 days. And then we have two important president’s birthday’s in the month, why celebrate all president’s this month instead of another month? Let’s make President’s day on January 20th. It brings more meaning to inauguration. It also makes more sense than a month later.

Now we get into Valentine’s day. The day where you show the person you love how much you love them. Because you shouldn’t do that all year around. While I understand the origin of this day, it’s turned into a way for the greeting card industry to make more money off of you, because they didn’t make enough money in December. It’s also turned into more of impressing than just spending time with the actual person. You don’t have to spend $100s of dollars to spend time with someone. If the person is with you, then they don’t care how much you spend (if they do, then you can do better) on them. It’s all about the little things and showing they you love them.  I do love the valentine’s day candy though. Conversation hearts the best.

This is why the month of February sucks. Hopefully, March isn’t this bad. I know I always say that but it ends up being true.

Have an opinion on the matter or just want to say that this is literally the best thing you ever read? Let us know in the comments below or tweet @Steven_Kaufman using #PopProject